Saturday, January 1, 2005

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I hanged out with Sarah Miller a while after I got off work at 10. Nothing much happened.

First we were just watching this movie at her friend Breanna's (I spelled that wrong, it's sure) house. Then she left and asked me to come along with her to Chino's. The guy was having a party.

So I went to my first "party." Party in the sense that people drink and so on.

The place was draped in smoke. I hate the smell, but there was nothing I could do.

In one room some people were messing around and naked. Chino was in there. In another room people were just talking.

This girl came out and handed everyone a beer, including me. I handed it back to her saying "no." Sarah and her friend Blazer took a drink.

I stayed there an hour. I was told to be home at 1 AM and that is what I did.

The party was pretty boring. I didn't expect it to be anything else.

I have a moral sense about drinking, I guess. I just never want to do it. I figure it is pointless. All drinking can be is detrimental to your life. It certainly won't help anything. I'm sure in the short-run it might be a means to escape and feel better, but in the long-run it is a waste of time.

When I was there, too, everyone seemed to be smoking. Smoking is another thing I cannot stand. I abhor the smell of smoke. I smell it on my clothes right now and it makes me want to rip them off. It makes me want to take a shower.

I would go to a party again just to observe. To see what happens. Many teens and many people in college have these "parties," where they drink and get slammed like no tomorrow. It is just interesting seeing how my generation, and how people my age in general are.

In the end, I figure people can do whatever they want. If they want to drink, I guess let them. It is no chip off my shoulder. I still find using drugs to escape from reality or to "have a good time" pointless.

When I was younger I was fed all that crap about drugs being bad. Some of it has stayed with me, but I'm open minded enough to respect anyone's decision to use drugs (in moderation). It is when drugs are abused that it becomes a problem. And in most cases, with continual use of a drug that is just what will happen. Your body develops a tendency toward the drug and therefore you need more and more to satiate yourself to get that high.

You don't need drugs to have a good time, to be happy. All it takes is yourself and what you are. I would much rather take what this world is through my own senses, sober, without any drugs.

So as the drinks fly around this hour, at 1:21 AM, I sit here in my room. I feel good because I am seeing this world without anything hindering this view.

I plan to never drink. Or smoke. I'm old enough to smoke but that'll never happen. When I turn 21 I won't be drinking anything either. It's pointless. It helps nothing. If anything, it makes it worse.
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