Saturday, December 20, 2003

I know, I'm not sarcastic at all.

I just sit here and bitch and moan. I'm such an idiot, I should just go and become more like Alex.

I'm not sarcastic at all. I sit here and try to be sarcastic, but I'm just not. I'm a completely horrid writer and I don't know anything when in fact I am actually a good writer and I can actually write seemingly every single day and people endlessly tell me I'm a good writer. But I still suck in comparison to the greatness that is Sir Mr. It's My Way Or No Way Poison Tongue Alex Esten President of The Entire Egotistical It-Is-My-Way-Or-No-Way club.

I posted in his thread, vaguely demeaning British history in a sarcastic way when I didn't even mean what I meant. If I were Alex, I'd just get all pissed off too--I mean, because if I know nothing, then why even bother telling me that you're pissed when in essence I know nothing, and I bitch and I moan, and I can't write? Why even tell me this if it's not going to do anything?

I mean Poe was a cliche writer. And I'm just like him. I'm a cliche that should be punched and punched endlessly because I'm so cliche. I don't know anything. I posted sarcastically in his thread about British history, but no, I'm not sarcastic, so in essence I know nothing and I was saying that I hate british history.

Alex is so awesome. I wish I was like him. Then I could be just another stupid teacher someday, that is as brainwashed with the prosthetics of life.

"Hi. I'm Alex. I hate Mitch he sucks let's tell him how much other people despise him. I'm the greatest bastard that ever lived. I'm also fatherless. I don't have a single fatherly care in my body at all. I'm an egotistical moron and I only care what I have to say. I know more thus I am better thus I will be better than everyone. I sit here and kick people when they're down because I think I'm better than everything else and I know I am, I can claim it by being rhetorcially raping and coming out and getting the last word as if I am better and greater. I think that if you're ignorant you know nothing and that I am better. I don't think that intelligence is found from experience and intuition's use combined. I think it's found by reading endlessly into something that's as simply cut-and-dried as it is."

Why say anything when Alex is the best egotistical, fascist pig that ever lived? Why? Why even say anything? Why say anything when he's nearly the greatest man that ever lived, and he knows everything, and people can't possibly be better nor greater than him? Why? Why even do anything?

I can't write at all. All I write is bitch and moaning, it isn't a catharsis. Nothing is a catharsis other than Alex. Alex is the catharsis. Let's all blow up on him because he knows how to handle it, he has such a great control of his emotions, he's so kind, he is so great, he is the best man that ever lived. I want to be like Alex. I want to blow up when I'm not blowing up and get pissed when someone didn't even mean what they meant.

I want to be mentally pimping. I want to be as good as Alex is with the women. I want to be as sexually alluring as he is. I want to be every facet that make Alex Alex. I want to sit here and make people feel endlessly worse about themselves, tell them the exact opposite of what they're thinking. I want to be great and amazing like Alex. He's so amazing he goes to college and he's older than me so he knows more and he is greater because of his immense literary knowledge and his anal retentive rhetoric that flings feces all over your face and is greater than everyone ever will.

Alex is the world. Everything revolves around Alex. Alex is a state of being, he is so amazingly sarcastic I can't believe I am not sarcastic like him at all. Whenever someone is saying something bad about Alex, they suck and they know nothing. I wish I could be like this. And Mitch he's an idiot. A moron. He can't write--he writes from his heart, and that isn't writing. That isn't writing. Writing is mindlessly telling a stupid story, it's not about emotion or anything. Nothing is about emotion or anything. It's what Alex thinks--nothing more nothing less.

Alex is everything. The world should just commit random genocide and bibliocides, because they know nothing and Alex is the one that will matter in the end. He'll get the last say.

Alex can dish out rhetoric hate, and rhetorically smalling things, but he can't receive it on a pristine platter of sarcastical portions. He can't understand well how other people tick. He only cares what he thinks. He has no empathy. I want to be just like him. He is so awesome. I want to be like Alex. He rules.

Alex is the epitome of smarts. Of intelligence. Of wisdom. He's so wise.

Translation: I can write. You can too, but telling someone they aren't this and that makes you the one who can't write.

Every breath you take
every move you make
Alex makes

Every bond you break
every step you take
Alex rapes

Every single day
Every word you say
Is egotistically blamed.

Oh can't you see
I want to be like you
How my poor heart aches
When your ignorance bleeds

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
Is another stake in your ego

Since you've gone
I've been glad
Been glad you don't have a face
I look around but it's you I can't replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
You're the best person that's the trace.
Fling dung as you escape.

When my logic ties you up and rapes you
my eloquence escapes you.
When my logic ties you up and rapes you
my eloquence escapes you.

All I want to say to you is
do do do de da da da
the innocence will pull me through
not listening will make me true
not being poisoned by your tongue will make me true.

Every single day
Every word you say
I'll feel boisterous hilarity at what is you
I'll be watching you
I'll be laughing at you


You're so great
And when my logic ties you up and rapes you,
my eloquence escapes you.

So do do do de da da da is all I have to say to you
Nothing I nor nothing I do will change you

Egoes are you
Egotistical and blue
Shot full of brainwash the primordial slew
I won't shoot you anymore
I won't shoot to shoot
I'll die crucifiying you this one last time
You're so great
You're so amazing
I so envy you

And I don't know what sarcasm is
I don't know it true
Might as well get a new art
Satire isn't flying as I flew
Because this whole post isn't anything that's new

Don't read between the lines
Don't see the lies
Don't read what I meant inside
Rape me and rape me fine
Tell me things I never meant I never fined
Rape me rape me fine

Do do do de da da da is all I have to say to you
the innocence and all that's true will pull me through
The police will one day rape you

The police will one day rape you

This is the last time you get the pleasure,
Alex Esten
This is the last time you get the pleasure of my spite
Alex Esten
This one last crucifixion of you on the cross,
Then you'll be hanged to bleed your loss.
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