Friday, September 5, 2003

The Return of the Screams.

Today as often as every other day I was sitting down minding my own business.

I was sitting down on my wooden log that somehow at my school passed as a "lunch chair," and upon this lunch chair was placed an even larger log for my "lunch table."

Perhaps it was that my school was tight on its budgets, who knows.

I stared absentmindedly around, thinking just that, as I sat on my log and it barked up my butt.

Taking the plastic (it was more like teflon) fork, and my plastic (also more like teflon) spoon, I began digging into my potatoes and mashing them in my mouth like they were made of diamonds.

In my mind I imagined a

Crunch CRUNCH CRUUUUUUUUUNCH

but there was only a small little noise, mostly me wrapping my tongue around each morsel and tasting it.

The potatoes also tasted like crap. It was like another bark shoveled into my butt and endlessly poking me as if I needed some Preperation H.

So I ate those potatoes, without gravy (the gravy tasted like baked paper. I hate it, so I never get it.)

As was usual, no one was sitting beside me in my little nook. Nobody but me.

As I finished my potatoes and finally opened my milk, I began to hear some one coming over.

I could hear their little footprints pat patting on the ground. I looked up and stared.

I was silent.

The came over and sat down right next to me. So close that I actually felt that for once tehre was some bark going up my butt and that the potatoes tasted like crap and that my plastic and spoon looked more like teflon. All I could think or see was them.

"Hello," the girl said to me. I looked over at her, just stared.

She had wings.

Not just regular wings, either. They were big and full and painted. They were white as paper.

I was almost speechless, but somehow I was able to remain cool. For some reason they were doing that to me.

"Hi," I said. I thought I sounded like a robot.

She looked at my now empty spot where my potatoes had been on my tray.

"Tasted like crap?"

I nodded. I began sipping my milk again, trying to act casual. Then I couldn't stop myself. I just had to ask. Had to.

"Uh, don't take this the wrong way, but why do you have wings?" I kind of just looked at her, somewhat stupidly. Somewhat like I wished I hadn't asked my question.

She looked at me like a perky cheerleader finally coming to the realization that she had just done some crazy flip and that she had just did something great. It was all ditzy.

"Why, uh, you see..." She stopped. I just continued to stare, continued to try and understand what in the hell was happening to my regular day of nothing going on.

"What?" I said, tried to beckon her on.

She looked at me closely, then rolled her eyes like I was such a dork. "Well, I'm uh...I uh am part of...don't you know?"

This was really strange. I looked at her like she was some crazy person, and then I looked at her wings and even thought she was more crazy.

"Don't I know what?"

But it was too late. She had disappeared into thin air. One moment she was there, and the next the seat was completely empty.

I stared around, I began to stand up. I looked around at everyone else. They looked like they hadn't seen a thing. Hadn't seen some crazy lady wearing wings like a wig.

Very confused, I walked over to some of my fellow classmates who I was familiar with.

"Hey, uh, hey Abe," I said. "Did you see anything weird?"

Abe looked at my through a cocked unibrow.

"Anything weird? What do you mean Alexander Bolltan Vanter? Anything weid...why, no."

I stared at him with an even more confused look. He had never ever known my entire name, he had also never even known my last name enough to even keep it in his short little memory which consisted of mainly pointless Star Wars information.

Beside him, Abe's friend Dane let out a funny little squiggle face.

It probably looked a lot like mine.

Extremely strange story which I am going to let stay where it is until my next post...
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