Sunday, March 28, 2004

I Guess It Makes Sense Now.

So now I see.

---

madsatirist (2:01:24 AM): :-D
madsatirist (2:01:24 AM): ::Evil grin::
madsatirist (2:01:24 AM): Isn't it fun?
machineofbones (2:01:39 AM): Not really. It's more like a waste of time lol.
madsatirist (2:01:45 AM): You'll like my reply.
madsatirist (2:01:50 AM): It's the best one of them yet.
madsatirist (2:01:58 AM): hahaha
madsatirist (2:02:09 AM): You'll like it. Trust me.
madsatirist (2:02:20 AM): Quick thought before I go sleepy,
machineofbones (2:02:25 AM): Mm?
madsatirist (2:02:43 AM): very few realize that there are two ways of getting a desired reaction.
madsatirist (2:03:21 AM): One is to be so crass to them so much that they transform,
madsatirist (2:03:30 AM): and the other is being polite so they transform.
madsatirist (2:03:38 AM): Just thought you'd like to know.
madsatirist (2:03:55 AM): :-)
machineofbones (2:03:59 AM): All right.
machineofbones (2:04:02 AM): Go to sleep.
madsatirist (2:04:07 AM): You've taken an important step.
machineofbones (2:04:22 AM): You're just testing me I see.
madsatirist (2:04:27 AM): I'm very pleased.
madsatirist (2:04:44 AM): Was there ever any doubt in your mind?
machineofbones (2:04:52 AM): Doubt as to what?
madsatirist (2:04:56 AM): Every thing I say has a purpose to it.
madsatirist (2:05:32 AM): A doubt as to my intent.
machineofbones (2:06:11 AM): Honestly, all I knew was that you were replying in My O for whatever reason, and I was just responding in my dignified way.
machineofbones (2:06:42 AM): I could tell with the post about my dad that you were acting a bit.
madsatirist (2:06:51 AM): So then there was no honest first step there?
madsatirist (2:07:02 AM): You said those things to merely stop the conversation?
machineofbones (2:07:18 AM): Yes.
madsatirist (2:07:24 AM): I knew he was your stepfather a long time ago.
madsatirist (2:07:36 AM): You had made mention of it a few months back.
machineofbones (2:07:42 AM): Yes.
madsatirist (2:08:07 AM): So then you did not mean what you said?
machineofbones (2:08:18 AM): Did not mean what I said when?
machineofbones (2:08:22 AM): What I just replied with>
machineofbones (2:08:28 AM): I meant it and I didn't at the same time.
madsatirist (2:08:32 AM): Careful here.
madsatirist (2:09:31 AM): One thing about writing, you must mean what you write all the time, entirely.
madsatirist (2:09:34 AM): There must be total purpose and honest purpose to what you write.
madsatirist (2:09:39 AM): No question in motivation.
machineofbones (2:09:42 AM): That's what you think.
madsatirist (2:09:45 AM): No ambiguity.
machineofbones (2:09:47 AM): And you can thinkt hat.
machineofbones (2:09:49 AM): *that
madsatirist (2:10:06 AM): The only ambiguity allowed is intended ambiguity of subject.
machineofbones (2:10:17 AM): That is what you think.
machineofbones (2:10:19 AM): You can think that.
madsatirist (2:10:20 AM): But in this case,
madsatirist (2:10:34 AM): the subject matter does not allow ambiguity.
madsatirist (2:10:44 AM): So you're only halfway there to the first step.
madsatirist (2:10:55 AM): But keep developing it.
machineofbones (2:11:07 AM): I honestly have no idea what the hell you're talking about. All I know is that writing is more to me than just communication.
madsatirist (2:11:25 AM): You've come a long way since I started talking with you.
madsatirist (2:11:54 AM): So you should be proud of what you've accomplished on the path.
machineofbones (2:12:02 AM): Thanks, I guess.
machineofbones (2:12:09 AM): I do what I can.
madsatirist (2:12:10 AM): Ah, but writing is about more than just communication.
machineofbones (2:12:18 AM): That is what I said.
madsatirist (2:12:18 AM): But it also has to make sense.
madsatirist (2:12:35 AM): There's a distinction between communicating an idea and the reader being able to make sense of it.
machineofbones (2:12:39 AM): Well, sometimes the only sense you can make isn't sense.
madsatirist (2:12:57 AM): That sentence you had written was not communication at all.
madsatirist (2:13:13 AM): That's a misconception.
machineofbones (2:13:18 AM): What sentence?
madsatirist (2:13:32 AM): It's called fallacy of expressive form.
madsatirist (2:13:39 AM): And it's frowned upon.
machineofbones (2:14:00 AM): I don't care what other people think. I simply write. You hate it or you love it. It's your choice.
madsatirist (2:14:13 AM): "The crash turns to the cold boy; the boy is the sky and is nothing as no one."
madsatirist (2:14:21 AM): That.
madsatirist (2:14:32 AM): It's simply a jumble of words, which is not what the teacher asked for.
madsatirist (2:14:40 AM): Correction, what the teacher required.
machineofbones (2:14:47 AM): You are taking this way out of context. But anyway.
madsatirist (2:15:05 AM): Out of context?
machineofbones (2:15:06 AM): I respect my teachers and they respect me.
madsatirist (2:15:15 AM): Nah.
machineofbones (2:15:34 AM): You can't even say that. You do not know me, Alex.
madsatirist (2:15:40 AM): We can go into the post, if you like.
madsatirist (2:15:59 AM): Mitch, I used to be just like you.
madsatirist (2:16:08 AM): I know exactly where you're coming from concerning writing.
machineofbones (2:16:09 AM): I know.
madsatirist (2:16:27 AM): I've said the exact same things in my Junior year.
madsatirist (2:19:07 AM): Junior year of high school.
madsatirist (2:19:07 AM): When I had entire projects rejected, I blamed the teachers.
madsatirist (2:19:07 AM): But it wasn't their fault at all.
madsatirist (2:19:07 AM): I ignored what the assignment was.
madsatirist (2:19:08 AM): The teachers are there to instruct you.
madsatirist (2:19:08 AM): To help you.
madsatirist (2:19:08 AM): They're not the enemy.
madsatirist (2:19:08 AM): They're not some prison guard.
madsatirist (2:19:08 AM): And I'm not angry at you or anything, either.
madsatirist (2:19:08 AM): I know what you're going through.
madsatirist (2:19:08 AM): And I'm here to help.
madsatirist (2:19:14 AM): And I've got to get to bed.
madsatirist (2:19:24 AM): Sleep well, Mitch.
machineofbones (2:19:29 AM): *nod*
madsatirist (2:19:29 AM): You're feeling better already, I'm sure of it.
madsatirist (2:19:36 AM): And not from what I've said, either.
madsatirist (2:19:56 AM): That comment reply was your first step.
madsatirist (2:20:06 AM): Seriously, remember how you were not even a year ago?
machineofbones (2:20:22 AM): If you could've caught me at a different time, I would've said something differently probably.
machineofbones (2:20:56 AM): I wasn't in a good mood when I saw the comment, but I believe in dignity, and I wanted to be kind even if I didn't feel it.
madsatirist (2:21:25 AM): And that is demonstrating maturity that you had never demonstrated before.
machineofbones (2:21:39 AM): I've always had it.
machineofbones (2:21:46 AM): You see, this is just the internet.
machineofbones (2:21:58 AM): I use it as a place to get my bad feelings out.
machineofbones (2:22:07 AM): That is mostly what my posts in the past have been to you.
machineofbones (2:22:08 AM): I suppose.
madsatirist (2:22:18 AM): You haven't always had it, though.
madsatirist (2:22:28 AM): I'm not trying to insult you, either.
machineofbones (2:22:32 AM): Yes I have. I have always been polite. At least in person.
madsatirist (2:22:41 AM): If you always had it, then you would have never exploded anywhere.
machineofbones (2:22:48 AM): This is the internet.
machineofbones (2:22:52 AM): This is different in aspects.
madsatirist (2:23:29 AM): There's a definite difference in what happened now and what happened last year.
madsatirist (2:23:45 AM): Think about what you just said.
madsatirist (2:23:53 AM): You've always been polite in person.
madsatirist (2:24:05 AM): Why is that do you think?
machineofbones (2:24:21 AM): When I just meet someone. Maybe I'm walking outside, and someone says hi.
machineofbones (2:24:25 AM): I'll respond back with hi.
machineofbones (2:24:28 AM): Someone says thank you to me.
machineofbones (2:24:32 AM): I say you're welcome back.
machineofbones (2:24:35 AM): Someone drops something.
machineofbones (2:24:37 AM): I pick it up.
machineofbones (2:24:44 AM): They say thank you to me.
machineofbones (2:24:47 AM): I say you're welcome back.
madsatirist (2:24:57 AM): You've been suppressing a lot.
madsatirist (2:25:00 AM): Bottling it up, as it were, and letting it out online.
madsatirist (2:25:02 AM): Now, only recently when you just released that anxiety in real life, did you feel more secure.
machineofbones (2:25:26 AM): Yes, that's probably true.
madsatirist (2:25:29 AM): That's not being polite. That's just subscribing to societal conventions.
madsatirist (2:25:54 AM): That's one of the pitfalls of society.
machineofbones (2:26:03 AM): Well then, is being polite subscribing to societal conventions? If not, then what is "being polite"?
madsatirist (2:26:08 AM): There are expectations that we are subconsciously driven to follow.
madsatirist (2:26:32 AM): "Being polite" is being able to express a feeling to someone in a reasonable manner.
madsatirist (2:26:39 AM): In real life, too.
madsatirist (2:26:49 AM): We must make that specification.
madsatirist (2:27:07 AM): I have a feeling that you never really told someone how you were feeling in real life.
machineofbones (2:27:23 AM): It's called intution.
madsatirist (2:27:31 AM): Call it what you will.
madsatirist (2:27:49 AM): But never being able to tell them hurt you inside, didn't it?
machineofbones (2:28:06 AM): I don't know.
madsatirist (2:28:13 AM): The recent update about the communication and your teacher is an example that it did hurt you inside.
madsatirist (2:28:22 AM): I can feel the conflict in you.
madsatirist (2:28:33 AM): You wanted to scream at the teacher, didn't you?
machineofbones (2:28:37 AM): No.
machineofbones (2:28:39 AM): I didn't.
madsatirist (2:28:47 AM): No?
machineofbones (2:28:49 AM): No.
madsatirist (2:28:58 AM): You didn't want to tell them precisely what you were feeling?
machineofbones (2:29:07 AM): No, I guess not.
madsatirist (2:29:09 AM): The rage that was building inside you?
machineofbones (2:29:13 AM): I know that I did not want to scream
machineofbones (2:29:15 AM): There was no rage.
machineofbones (2:29:31 AM): There was just that little thought and that was all.
madsatirist (2:29:33 AM): There must have been something dark in there.
machineofbones (2:29:42 AM): And then I said she was right, language is for communication, but it's more to me than that.
machineofbones (2:29:46 AM): That's about it.
madsatirist (2:30:01 AM): But why didn't you explain?
madsatirist (2:30:10 AM): Why not discuss this with her at the front of the room?
machineofbones (2:30:11 AM): Why explain it? It didn't matter.
madsatirist (2:30:28 AM): If you feel so stongly about it.
madsatirist (2:30:39 AM): It did matter, though.
madsatirist (2:30:50 AM): It mattered enough for you to explode online.
machineofbones (2:30:54 AM): No.
machineofbones (2:30:57 AM): I was just passionate then.
machineofbones (2:31:02 AM): I'm not passionate 24/7.
madsatirist (2:31:12 AM): I'm not saying 24/7.
madsatirist (2:31:29 AM): It's still going to bother you, though, isn't it?
machineofbones (2:31:35 AM): That I didn't say anything?
madsatirist (2:31:37 AM): When it happens again.
machineofbones (2:31:38 AM): It doesn't bother me. no.
madsatirist (2:31:59 AM): No, when it happens again. When you're criticized.
madsatirist (2:32:03 AM): When you're told that you're wrong.
machineofbones (2:32:10 AM): It doesn't bother me.
madsatirist (2:32:23 AM): Oh?
madsatirist (2:32:28 AM): Are you sure?
machineofbones (2:32:35 AM): At least with how I feel now.
madsatirist (2:32:47 AM): Next time in class, when the Literature instructor decimates whatever you have to say,
madsatirist (2:32:59 AM): that's not going to bother you at all?
machineofbones (2:33:12 AM): It wasn't a literature instructor. It was my Latin teacher heh.
madsatirist (2:33:31 AM): Minor technicality.
machineofbones (2:33:45 AM): She didn't decimate what I had to say, really.
madsatirist (2:33:55 AM): You were forced to cave.
machineofbones (2:33:58 AM): I still had what I said. But I said it to myself.
madsatirist (2:34:06 AM): You had no defense that you felt confident in.
machineofbones (2:34:34 AM): No, I just didn't really care. I only cared about what I believed in. If the teacher wanted to believe what language is for herself, let her.
machineofbones (2:34:37 AM): Doesn't hurt me.
machineofbones (2:34:41 AM): I'm passive. I don't care.
madsatirist (2:34:59 AM): That's not entirely accurate.
madsatirist (2:35:04 AM): You do care.
madsatirist (2:35:14 AM): There's a part of you, deep down in there, that does care.
machineofbones (2:35:48 AM): Well, I care about what I believe in obviously. I listen to what she has to say, but I don't really care, because it's not what I believe about language.
madsatirist (2:35:57 AM): If you didn't care at all,
madsatirist (2:35:57 AM): then you would never feel inclined to talk about anything, anywhere.
madsatirist (2:36:25 AM): But what if what you believe is false?
machineofbones (2:36:35 AM): I don't believe in right and wrong.
machineofbones (2:36:45 AM): I believe that by someone's eyes what they think is right could be right.
machineofbones (2:36:59 AM): And what someone else looks at might be wrong to them but right to that person.
machineofbones (2:37:07 AM): I don't mean in extreme cases.
machineofbones (2:37:10 AM): Killing is wrong, of course.
machineofbones (2:37:20 AM): At least in this society.
madsatirist (2:37:24 AM): But what is extreme?
madsatirist (2:37:35 AM): Where does extreme begin?
machineofbones (2:37:49 AM): I don't really know, exactly.
machineofbones (2:37:53 AM): Where do you think it begins?
madsatirist (2:38:03 AM): Precisely.
machineofbones (2:38:21 AM): Everything could be right if there wasn't something telling you to believe this or that.
machineofbones (2:38:37 AM): If you were shaped by nothing but yourself, say, you'd think what you believed was right.
madsatirist (2:38:49 AM): It begins when a human being loses their shred of decency. Where they become a monster.
machineofbones (2:39:02 AM): Perhaps there's these tribe of people. . .they rape other women. They think what they do is right. And so they do it.
machineofbones (2:39:05 AM): Etc.
madsatirist (2:39:11 AM): And you refuse to let yourself be shaped by anything other than yourself.
madsatirist (2:39:28 AM): You treat the outside world like it's out to get you.
machineofbones (2:39:38 AM): That's true, yeah.
madsatirist (2:39:38 AM): Like it's out to destroy you.
madsatirist (2:39:54 AM): And what has The Terminator Trilogy taught us?
machineofbones (2:40:01 AM): Fatre.
machineofbones (2:40:02 AM): *Fate
madsatirist (2:40:06 AM): We can't fight Fate.
madsatirist (2:40:17 AM): We must adapt with it.
madsatirist (2:40:33 AM): We must learn how to utilize it to our advantage, to not treat it like Death.
machineofbones (2:40:33 AM): I will adapt. I'm just not ready yet, completely.
madsatirist (2:41:00 AM): The years are quickly passing, Mitch.
machineofbones (2:41:11 AM): Yeah, I know.
madsatirist (2:41:13 AM): You've got to complete the process before you graduate.
madsatirist (2:41:15 AM): I sound like Yoda.
madsatirist (2:41:26 AM): Well, Yoda was one of the best characters in Star Wars.
machineofbones (2:41:27 AM): I already know this though.
machineofbones (2:41:47 AM): It's either fall behind or rise above it.
madsatirist (2:42:01 AM): It's neither of those, though.
madsatirist (2:42:14 AM): Don't rise above it but don't fail.
machineofbones (2:42:21 AM): Yeah.
machineofbones (2:42:23 AM): Adapt.
madsatirist (2:42:25 AM): Work past it.
madsatirist (2:42:25 AM): Work around it.
madsatirist (2:42:45 AM): Because, when you rise above it, you can only go down.
machineofbones (2:42:48 AM): I still have no clue what I'm going to do at college though.
machineofbones (2:43:00 AM): I don't want to be a teacher.
madsatirist (2:43:03 AM): I didn't have a clue until two years ago.
madsatirist (2:43:09 AM): Then don't become a teacher.
machineofbones (2:43:18 AM): What can I do with a degree in creative writing, then?
madsatirist (2:43:28 AM): Honestly, I wouldn't want you teaching anyway.
madsatirist (2:43:31 AM): No offense.
machineofbones (2:43:37 AM): I wouldn't either.
machineofbones (2:43:51 AM): I'm not a good orator first off.
madsatirist (2:44:04 AM): Firstly sounds better.
madsatirist (2:44:14 AM): lol
madsatirist (2:44:23 AM): You're a wallflower.
machineofbones (2:44:28 AM): I'm tired.
machineofbones (2:44:29 AM): lol
madsatirist (2:44:31 AM): You know,
madsatirist (2:44:38 AM): maybe consider being an editor.
machineofbones (2:44:46 AM): Newspaper?
machineofbones (2:44:50 AM): Nah.
machineofbones (2:44:53 AM): Creative writing.
machineofbones (2:44:54 AM): Yeah.
madsatirist (2:44:55 AM): Sure, it's not the most flashy job in the world.
machineofbones (2:45:12 AM): I could see that working, maybe.
machineofbones (2:45:16 AM): Then write on the side.
madsatirist (2:45:22 AM): Very few creative writers make it through just being a writer.
madsatirist (2:45:33 AM): You need somehow to support yourself.
machineofbones (2:45:37 AM): Well of course. You start off.
machineofbones (2:45:38 AM): Yeah.
madsatirist (2:45:45 AM): Walt Whitman worked two jobs and wrote on the side.
madsatirist (2:45:57 AM): Well, technically one at a time.
madsatirist (2:46:16 AM): After he started finding success, he slid from one to the other,
madsatirist (2:46:28 AM): eventually quitting the construction and concentrating solely on poetry.
madsatirist (2:46:48 AM): I've got work in the morning.
machineofbones (2:46:58 AM): Then go.
madsatirist (2:47:07 AM): Think about what we talked about, okay?
madsatirist (2:47:07 AM): Sleep well, Mitch.
machineofbones (2:47:11 AM): Yes.
machineofbones (2:47:22 AM): At first I thought you were just being an asshole to me. Now I see you were just testing me.
madsatirist (2:47:40 AM): :-)
madsatirist signed off at 2:47:51 AM.
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