Sunday, April 11, 2004

How am i to tell you

Come inside you told me
to this unreality
deep inside a forest among many trees
in my mind you beckon me among many leaves
there is certain sigh that bothers me
and here inside there is a thing which powers it all
sucking from the roots it falls

how am i to change a thing when there is nothing here
you tell me to hide but there's so much to fear
i would like to lie in here and never feel at all
reality's got no bearing on what befalls
how am i to tell you anything different than they have
you should save yourself for their land
where they certainly kill and suck the moisture dry
there is no reason for you to come here inside
there is nothing here for you to ever ever find
only my ugly deep insides

they tell you their reality you say it's fine
you come to me and whisper that it's so benign
i tell you to come inside and hide
and softly cry to you that there's nothing to find
i should just go away and never come again
exile me away make me never see what
is here and never have to know
that is where we should be able to go
but there is nothing here in my mind for you to see
only a beauty that's lacking anything of me
one day you will notice i am not me
we will know the leaves will fall from the trees
we will hide among what we have left to keep
and i will keep telling you it is time to leave
that you should have never ever came and bothered me
here in my mind there is only unreality
nothing is here that will keep me
only things that kill you as they want you to believe
how am i to fall into your arms and sleep
when i am always wounded by this thing?
i will never be able to be who i am
they will only stymie me with their dam
the water will flow from the river
slowly trickling through my south seas
i will find there's nothing here but useless human being
i still point over to where it sings
tell you there is nothing here to go where you please
you still stay here and comfort me

i will climb away from deep inside these trees
there is too much hair here there is too much killing me
i will go upon the face of the hill above
find there is ledges impeding on my love
i will see flying above many doves
when i reach the top i will fall onto my knees
you will look up to me and feel i am diseased
i will look down upon the big picture thing
it will be a land of useless being
where they all are slaves to the machine
i will yell down to you that it is too late
our forest we have crafted will be cut down
and when it all falls there will be a certain sound
the sound of us screaming together as we lie
trying to feel each other's insides
i will tell you there is nothing here to find
you will touch me where it pleasures we will cry
the trees will fall on over us as we sit and ride
they will find us naked draped and tried
in their eyes i will see malice and ill intent devised
we will hold each other until we die

but before this can happen there is another thing
standing upon the hill the doves fly to me
they squack at me through their bills in loud noise
they begin carrying me over to the other side
tears fall from my eyes and i look over to you
your face is dead you are dead i see you cannot live
i fight the doves and try to win but there is no hope at all
i am stolen from you and you cannot follow me to where i am going
there is nothing you can do
only for you to sit inside the forest feeling blue

the doves put me in a cell and lock me in chains
rustily they clack as i try to remember your name
i remember i had told you there is nothing to find
that they will suck all the moisture dry
i sit there and cry myself until i feel i'll die
i want to go back inside the comfort of my mind
i imagine you are in front of me and kissing me so nice
i hold you in my arms and we escape to our unreality
but i realize i am groping at nothing and my chains have me
the doves come to me and change to what they really are
they are uglier than anything by far
their eyes are full of malice i can feel their deathly gaze on to me
their eyes call out and i cannot help but look
they hypnotized me

i am no longer anything at all
i have forgotten what was worth it to fall
i sit here in my cell and atrophy on my own
your face is just a passing drone
i am part of the ugliest devise
i am a maggot turning into a fly
there is nothing left anymore they have sucked me dry
the only thing i see is money in my eyes
i work for them inside their devise
i am hypnotized to feel i am accomplished inside
i work for nothing and slave away until i'm shied
i get money and with it things i find to buy
i feel happy when i'm not i feel numb and cry
but they have control of me and give me drugs to get by

i do not remember you anymore at all
where you are is of no concern to me
the only thing i do is do what they say
i am a slave to them and in my chains

would you know that in the end you lose
and when you're most alive they keep you most bruised
my heart it does not bleed anymore
it's lost and it no longer grew
they ripped it all away there is nothing i can do

you are someplace else where i cannot reach you

how am i to tell you what they already said?
i cannot comfort you i am already dead
i should go kill myself upon the cross i carry
upon my shoulders it is getting quite hairy
you should come along with me and we can look at each other
and in our passing breaths know what we once were
and ascending to our hell we will feel we didn't get what we deserved

there is no way i can tell you my pain
you reach inside you reach inside it is all in vain
you only make me hurt more and feel pleasure in my pain
you cut my heart in pieces to small veins
i do not know how i can touch you anymore
it only is itching one big sore
i will leave it all abandoned on the bloody shore
there is no reason to even talk anymore

in their eyes they control us all and there is nothing else
i escaped once into my head but i was taken back
i did it for you so you do not have to worry at all
but it had nothing to solve

i think i think i made you in my head
i think you will die
i think i think i made you in my head
i think you will die
i hold you in my arms
and awaken from the dream
finding the reality is not what i wanted
that i wished i had stayed

i will kill myself
find myself to be displayed
i will be naked open you will fall shame
they will have control and i will be a slave
what was me will be buried in the ground depraved
i will look upon my grave
there will be no flowers for us to be remembered
we will be all over
we will be dismembered

i will call a passing cry and dig for your name
nothing hollers back in his deep blame
Comments (1)