Wednesday, May 5, 2004

happy, sad, and the girl's fate

happy, sad, and the girl’s fate
happy sits on his window-sill
he thinks it’s going to rain.
while, across the street
sad stands on his roof
thinking things are never going to change.

happy is a ray of shine,
mouth’s corners held.
sometimes it seems forced.
the eyes seem to tell
happy’s not all he’s made to be.

sad is a quivering mass of fear,
mouth’s a metal trapper.
sometimes it seems dramatic.
the eyes seem to tell
sad’s lonely where he is.

happy can see sad
and sad can see happy
happy yells over,
“you know there’s things to be happy of,”
and happy says more, but sad’s not listening.
he’s on a shingle on the roof pouting his eyes out.

sad thinks he’s going to fall from the roof
he can see it in his head.
he’ll be pushed down by gravity,
land in an organized mess on the ground.
everyone will smile more because he’s gone.
he can see happy’s smile widen--
with a smile like that, he thinks,
you could tame the world.

sad’s legs are dangling over the roof’s edge now.
hanging all fancy free.
he thinks he’ll just drop now.

happy’s watching it all.
he’s yelling, “don’t do it! don’t jump!”
but his words are lodged in sad’s throat.
he can’t hear them--won’t hear them.

sad’s tears fall to the ground,
stain the cement on down.
then, slow, sad pushes with his arms
and gets ready for the end.

there is a sudden jerk
and then sad’s held by his shirt.
in midair.
looking confused, defeated, sad looks on over.
who’s just saved him? he wonders.
it isn’t fair.

kneeling down on the roof is a lady, and she is sure fair.
long wavy hair--it blows in the wind--and eyes to kill for.
this is the type of woman that makes fires burn.

“it’s OK,” she says, and sad’s quite taken.
the way those thin lips moved was inviting.
what less is there to do?
and happy’s looking on over too.
eyes wide, his smile’s as big as texas on a good day.

sad comes up from the edge, looks in the fine lady’s eye.
“why’d you save me. i wanted to die.”
sad’s still putting up the act.

“killing yourself wouldn‘t be worth it,” she says.
sad doesn’t know what she means by that.
all he knows is he’s taken by her.

“and what do you mean by that?” sad asks.
he expresses his puzzlement with his hands.

“i don’t know, really,” she says, and pushes away her long bangs
from her face.
now sad’s looking at her legs, the shapely curves.
he thinks she knows more than what she’s saying,
but maybe she can’t put it into words.

“OK then,” sad says. “let’s get off this roof.”
sad leads her by the hand, being extra careful.
this woman’s such a doll,
and dolls are brittle and break easily.
once something’s broke it can’t be fixed.

they’re off the roof now, in sad’s house.
sad’s house is decorated with blue wallpaper,
and the woman comments she likes it.

“glad you like it,” is all sad can say.
he feels nervous and wonders if he looks good.
“say,” sad says. “would you like something to drink? some food?”
he’s trying to make her comfortable.

“i’ll take something to drink,” she says. “tea’s fine.”
sad goes in his kitchen--the blue wallpaper makes him look blue.
he fixes up some tea, comes out and sits beside her.
hands her the tea.

outside sad’s house, happy’s on a dream.
he’s sneaking around, looking in the window.
being a peeping tom.
he wants a piece of this action.
his grin tells it all.

inside, sad’s gotten up the guts
to tell her how pretty she is.
“you are the most beautiful gal i have ever seen,”
and “the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen ever,”
sad tells her with a deep reach in his heart.
he reprehends himself mentally for being so bold.
he probably sounds like an idiot.
he waits for a reaction, reads her face.

“you’re beautiful too,” is what she says.
sad almost seems to smile and frown all at once.
he’d describe it as bittersweet, a hard candy to chew.

they talk a little while on, but happy knows what’s going on.
he watches from the window, a sun in the sky seeing everything.
happy watches, with glee, as sad and the woman touch each other’s faces.
watches as they smooth on in for a kiss.
happy feels jealous, but resists the temptation to barge in.
he’d be killed alive if he did.
then happy’d be no more.

now they’re both naked and exposed,
and happy has to admit, sad’s got a tighter body than him.
it’s full of more emotion--more devotion--than he could ever give.
he watches with a passing satisfaction and feels jealousy
more than anything else.
the woman’s quite good eye candy--happy just grins and grins.
he grins until it’s a wonder his face doesn’t just fall off.
then, all of the sudden, happy seems to get mad.
his eyes click, his mouth twists and contorts.
there’s nothing stopping him now.

inside the house, they’re all over each other.
sad can feel himself coalescing into her.
she can feel herself coalescing with him.
they breathe in the moment and hold it in.
it’s palpable, full of emotion deep within.
it’s because she’s the type of lady that makes it burn.

but the hand of fate
is puncturing, grabbing its hold.
soon the hand will come on in.

out on a farm, the hand of fate’s doing no harm.
it sits, with its glove on, and watches as a calf is born.
he makes this one especially full of scorn--they’re better that way.
it pokes out its hand from its glove, caresses the calf, threads its fate.
an angry ingrate this one’ll be.
this calf’ll die, shot by the farmer out in this farm
for being obstinate.
fate’s doing it all good and well, there’s no harm.
just another life to make.
to take.

then his hands begin to tingle, he can feel his arm nudging the way.
it’s off to sad’s house--things are set in motion that need to be handled
and put away.
it crawls on off, fingers knick-knacking in a walk.
sounds like the gallop
of one hell of a horse.

sad’s about reaching climax, she is too.
the pleasure teeters on in,
climbs in the moment--a demon angel from heaven
sent to hell.
she cries in her mounting pleasure--he feels it in.
then the moment’s over, it‘s grown its wings and flown,
you can just see the demon angel go home.

happy, now mad, is still out there.
he sits oh-so patient, as if waiting.
then he feels it’s the time.

happy breaks the hell on in,
finding them both naked there, in each other’s arms.
in a big voice, he screams, “she’s my girl! i want her!”
happy holds his fists.
and just then, the hand of fate, with its glove, goes on happy’s hand
where the fist is made.

happy can’t even control his hand, it goes wild with rage.
begins hitting sad again and again and again.
blood begins to dance in the air,
ballet dancers with torn scarlet skirts and dead hair.

happy begins to respond, a deep yell from his mouth,
from the deepest reaches of the bowels of his heart.
he fights back, counters with a one-two punch,
and another one-two punch.
happy gets one straight in the face,
it breaks his smile to a seething pain.
blood ebbs out of the mouth, stains
the carpet in a bleeding shower.

they fall to the ground,
and the fair lady tries to break them up,
but the hand of fate’s all over them.
there’s no way to break its bond.
she’s flung, lands in a river of blood,
and is carried off out of the house.

outside the house, the blood flows out, her on it,
and begins to drown the entire sunny day.
soon the blood’s risen all the way to the sky,
and she’s still on top of it, but now she’s falling in.
her hand, held out, grabs at nothing, quivers, then she’s gone.
she’s drowned.
she sinks to the bottom, and the hand of fate zooms on by.
rips open her chest, and takes her heart.
it’s such a soft innocent heart--it bleeds free.
fate can’t help himself, and in glee
takes off his glove and feels it up.
and’s off back on his way.

happy and sad are still fighting each other,
punching each other, but they’re slowly being drained.
they’re both in the depths of exhaustion, about ready to pass out.
but the whole time it’s been a stalemate.
and it ends with them both falling in the blood.
they sink to the bottom too,
next to that beautiful woman, whose heart is now gone.

and fate comes back on by,
takes off his glove, and digs on in.
takes both their hearts.
sad’s heart is so big for something so small,
and happy’s heart is so small for something so big.
fate’s just going to have a big feast now.
he’s going to eat like a pig.

slowly, time passes,
the blood evaporates to the sky.
their bodies deliquesce to rotten skin and bones.
it begins to rain.
happy was right--and the showers cleanse it all.

and outside my head,
i feel fine.
but inside, the hand of fate
sews its twine.
i think he’s put a machine in there now
who keeps me in line.
he knows how to work me just fine.
and everything he’s doing’s no harm.
no harm at all.
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