Thursday, May 20, 2004

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ROWAN TREE (the Sensitivity) - full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

It lies. I will not let it poison me with its barbs of thorns!

---

On another note, Mitch has a story to tell all ye kids. That's right! Gather round, and haggle. It's story time!

So there Mitch was. . .driving his 1985 Plymouth Reliant with a Newspaper staff member by the name of Alan. Mitch had been driving for some time, looking for where the source was--he had just came from a golf course where it was found the source was at another golf course on the other side of town.

Mitch was on the backstreets, going about his way. He came to a yield sign but did not yield--Mitch was rather tired of driving and wasn't feeling too good--he was rather impatient, wishing to get it over with already. So Mitch makes his left turn--and the Fates were on a smile. For when Mitch turned, right there, at the exact moment, came a police car, as if from nowhere but hell itself. Mitch heard Alan utter in a scream "Stop! It's a cop!" and Mitch, in a haze and halfasleep, did just that, barely missing Mr. Cop That Was There Just At The Right Time To Be There Somehow.

Mr. Cop pulled over on the side of the street, Mitch followed. Mr. Cop came out to Mitch, told Mitch he should pay more attention when he drives, that he should yield at yield signs. Mitch already knew this and was just so glad he hadn't hit this cop--he would've certain lost his license if he had, and that would be bad, one of the worst things because then his dad would be pissed, as well as he wouldn't be able to get a job and drive himself there this approaching summer. Mitch said "Yes sir" to everything Mr. Cop of Fate said, and shook his head up and down, and was glad when the cop was done. Then Mitch was on his way, shaken, but not stirred.

Mitch thinks he hates driving, as well as everything else in this world.

Also, Mitch's interview today went well. Mitch is ready, he thinks, to be a Fast Food Slave Bitch to McDonald's. Old McDonald had a farm ei ei o. And on his farm he had a Mitch ei ei o. With a ANGST ANGST here, and an ANGST ANGST here, HERE AN ANGST THERE AN ANGST. Old McDonald had a farm, ei ei o.

Mitch was interviewed by a woman whose name was Lindsey. The interview with Mitch seemed to have went smooth.

And that's all there is on the news tonight. I'm Tom Brokaw, have a good night (and I know I sure as hell won't).

Just remember kids: it's all yellow as piss. You may leave now children, Mitch is finished. Wasn't that a nice story? Well, I don't think so. . .I think it was rather a waste of time. So does Mitch. It is time for Mitch to do deviant, sinful things. OH ELECTRIC JESUS, SAVE ME WITH THINE SACRIFICES!
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