Sunday, October 12, 2003

Come face to face with it push down your side. You saw your self-control words will collide.

Mood: Cranky, tired, other such feelings.
Music: Tea Party-GyroScope

It is my birthday. And it isn't a big deal at all to me.

I wasn't able to sleep too well last night because of this stupid cold, and because of it I am tired today, as well as I feel like crap from it as well. Otherwise I do not know what else to post in here...

I need to get a job as soon as I can so I can get my Dad to quit telling me over and over again that I have to repay him $300 to fix my car's damage.

I got about $130 for my birthday, and I'd rather just give it to my Dad. I already spent some of it last night, though. Some batteries for my .mp3 CD player and Bob Dylan's Blood on the Tracks. That costed about $24.

We went to wal-mart, and they had a car stereo there that played .mp3 CDs for $90. But I need new speakers my Dad says, and that would cost about $150, whereas I only have $105 about.

My parents themselves only gave me $50. I was expecting more....but I don't care. I don't want anything as far as I'm concerned. My Dad wouldn't give me the $50 more that I needed, so I didn't buy the mp3 car stereo thing. I don't really care though. I'll just waste all my money buying music CDs or something.

I don't want it to be tomorrow. Then it's time for school again.

I don't know. I'm not in a good mood, so anything I say in here is going to be negatized. It's one of those "I hate everything" moods, I suppose. Anyways...

dressed in a hearse
put your hand on the stoneblock
in the endless sea of my pattering ribs
that broke under pressure
sea pressure, tossing and turning, broken in the language i believed

keep raining an alphabet
the numerical silhouette of my teeth
that says from my lips, patters my lips, crimps
pleases don't let me choose my hands
the water is rushing, hitting, i'm falling down
trying to keep up
keep around

the procession of the A's and
the B wanted a home
a doctrined loving arm to hug
and E was caught in my eye
rubbing away the procession of ugliness
as it dotted my flowers on the earth
spinning in my arms
in my hands
in my life

keep raining an alphabet
drivel rain
desperate plea for a place

the numerical silhouette of my teeth
tht says from my lips, patters my lips
the spiral scissor cutting crimps
of the wires cutting hands and hitting me down
trying to keep up, keep around
i'm falling down

falling down
in the words i had
clutching them in my hands
as it dotted my flowers, painted my hairs

slow raining alphabet
divine, we'll both go down like tonsil men
speaking in coughs about fantasy of what was
part everything in our lips and ever after
in the drying rain we'll sit raw in our skins
boiling the sweltering trees and our lip melted appeals
the court is in session, cessation my direction
i'm drowing. i'm drowning in my own words
sputtering on the words i thought i knew

i'm falling down
i'm trying to keep up
dressed in a hearse
my whisper to the nurse
the beating heart in its core
want to stop it in my lungs

the words i thought i knew
falling down
in words i had
the slow
raining alphabet


they
laugh. in open words.
and hold the child hand
in hand in the raining.

they
give. in open lashes.
and hold the man in
the open rain
to catch the water.
all drops
of the words i thought
i knew.

therapidrumsofblood
i got the sniffles
falling from my nose
to tears that rub
holes in the sides of my cheeks

i caught the disease
from the weak
it speaks to me
i know it well
it catches in my throat
making me not feel so well

i gotta speak
but it's caught in my throat
from the raw red in my way
and it's starting to reek
as it bleeds from my hands

i got the sniffles
drew my hanky from my pocket
it's been labeled a joker
as i stand in the rain
washing it all be purged
to cold exchange

caught the disease
from the sickness
in the rain
never quite
felt the same

my heart sits here and beats. THE rapid drums of blood.
RED in the rain. LOVE.
i'm washing it all be purged. WASHING IT ALL on the wet curb.
H o w h a s it b e e n
Has it BEEN WELL? HAVE you been the BEST? WAIT my little one.
wait JUST a while. AS i SIT here in the RED rain.
never quite felt. the same.
THE rapid drums of BLOOD will carry you through the STORM.

we'll never FEEL warm. Never FEEL too comfortable.
i feel discarded. YOU feel sharded. WE feel slander in the rain.
quiet down. QUIET down. qUiEt doWN. they'LL hear US.
oh no Oh no OH No OHNO . we've caught THE SICKNESS.
never felt too WELL since i caught the red RAIN. LOVE.

i got the sniffles
falling from my nose
to tears that rub
holes in the side of my cheeks
i got a rose falling from
your hands.

it's wilting it's wilting ITS WILTING ITS WILTING
i got a rose falling from
your hands.
it's wilting it's wilting ITS WILTING ITS WILTING
where have you gone? where have you been?
never quite felt the same.
feel shot. feel abused. feel used. feel slew.
and where are you? my heart sits here and beats.
stabbed a stake in my head and said i killed my dead.
bludgeoned my heart to a brain and gave it a parade.
my ignorance is on its GAME. my love is turning to a CHARADE.
and where are you? and WHERE ARE YOU? all i got was a rose falling from
YOUR HANDS.
all i got was red rain on the CURB.
THE RAPID DRUMS of BLOOD will CaRRY you THROUGH the storm

will carry you through the storm THROUGH the STORM through the
will carry you to your doom to your end to the slow train that takes you away
AND ILL to you. and death TO YOU. and I HATE YOU. and everLASTING peace
my heart SITSHERE and BEATS.

i caught a disease
and i can't help but cry
and i rub it all away
to tears on my cheeks
that only make holes
all over my face.
and all i got
was a falling rose from your hands.

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