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hmm, i'm back? i dunno.
I'm feeling terrible at this moment, i broke a very strict promise with one of my dear friends.
I'm so sorry ferny. I didn't want to, i don't know what happened exzactly.
I'm guessing it's time i've finally confessed my horrible, darkest secret.
I...
(goodness, I feel so stupid) I cut myself at times.
Since last summer, when i began to have serious problems with my mom and dad. When my mom said "I hate you" ? I think it was then. I don't really know if she meant it, but it made me feel like crap.
Just like about a month ago, i promised my friend, Ferny, I would stop doing it.
And for a while, i did.
But just two days ago, i cut myself.
I feel like an idiot...><
*sigh* i got in another fight with my mom and told her a lot of stuff i never meant to say.
Right now, I'm at my dads house.
I feel so terrible!! Just earlier today, my friend Mishy, who for a while, also cut herself, told me if i was ever going to think about cutting myself again, i should call her and talk to her about it, instead of doing that.
I felt miserable when she told me that, cuz i had already done it.
Now, i have to go back to wearing a stupid sweater, or wristband so my dad won't see it.
And it sucks, cuz it's fucking hot.
My sis knows, I went to her for help, and she ACTUALLY hugged me.
Oh well. I don't know whether or not to make another promise with my friends, bcuz i don't know if it'll be for real. I hope so though.
I mean, my friend already realized how retarded it is, so why can't i stop too??
Ugh.
I feel sick now.
...Happy be-lated b-day ferny.
Best of luck? Yeah.
Well,I'll update later, i'm too bored.
bai bai
-*Raeza*-
When your mind searches for a hand
When your heart crosses a nightmare
you can't seem to understand
When your tears fall and collide with tile floor
When you leave everything, in search for more
When blood trickles down your wrist...
What else do you do? What else can you risk?
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