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Monday, August 22, 2005
Put that thing away this minute!
Sunday August 21 11 pm
I don't know what that title is supposed to mean... I just wanted to put something there.
So I completed a 40 hour work week today. it wasn't too bad, although I had a little back pain on Friday. It went away with some Advil though. I go to the doctor in the morning to get checked out for a work release. I had a week to get one, and Monday (the deadline) was the earliest they could see me. If I don't get a note that says it's ok to work, I have to wait another unpaid 2 weeks... Who can afford that? Not me. I have $0.75 in my checking account...Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
My cousin Vinny is on TV...Marissa Tomei won an Oscar for her role in that movie...
Did I mention that I went to Missourri to see my brother take his first vows? He's becoming a monk in the Benedictine Order. He got the name Victor. He is now Brother Victor. He didn't chose it for a certain saint or anything. He chose it due to the many references of God and Jesus beingvictorious over this or that. They were victors over many things, I guess... He has, therefore, skipped the Communion of Saints and gone Straight to GOD as his Patron. He's always thought himself special...I love my brother, he's great.
So, the weather has been strange lately. The World is going to end. Raining in the sunshine. Raining a lot... Mushrooms are starting to shoot out of my yard. I don't like it.
My mom told me she would cover Kyo's vet bill...That money would be nice, Mom. I don't need to bounce another check.
I watched Layer Cake tonight again. I come out either Tuesday or next Tuesday. I like it. It's well paced and tight. Daniel Craig is great too. I really like him. I watched The Ring Two the other day. It's scarier than the first, but still not great.
Well, Signing off, kids. NIGHT
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Saturday, August 20, 2005
So, how's your head?
A couple of friends of ours are shipping out next week, so for them this week has been a week long party, and last night was THE BIG ONE. Lacy and April and I went and I kept up with them beer for beer... and paid for that this morning. A number I don't know just called my phone, I hope I didn't start randomly giving out my phone number to strangers last night... I don't answer calls from numbers I don't know, I just check their message, but they didn't leave one.
There is a very loud puppy somewhere in my neighborhood. At first I thought he was in major distress, but he's just lonely out in his backyard. He wants EVERYONE to know it too. Poor Puppy.
Well, back to work I working out for me pretty well, but I had some ack pain yesterday. I left about half an hour early. That's alright though.
The movie Red Eye opened this weekend. I really want to see it. I love Cillian Murphy and Kinda like Rachel McAdams. I have to say, she is much more attractive with darkerish hair than the very blonde hair she had in Mean Girls. If you've seen Red Eye, is it good, let me know.
I'm gonna go nap now, have a good day, kids!
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Tuesday, August 16, 2005
This thing is costing me a fortune
Don't worry, Kyo, I love you anyway. My poor Kitty, Kyo, got the crap beaten out of him by another cat. A hefty chunk of change was spent at the vet for him.
Well, yesterday was a really long day for us. My younger brother was taking his vows for Benedictine monkhood. He lives 4-ish hours away and the Mass was at 10:30 am... Jordan and I got up at 4am to get there... we didn't home until about 9pm... Long day.
It was pretty neat though. Another guy was sharing his ceremony, as they are doing the same thing. I felt really bad though, because Jeff and Sarah (my brother and sister-in-law) made very feeble attempts at controlling or quieting their children. The section of the ceremony for the other man was unhearable thanks to the passive parenting of those in my family. The family of the other candidate glared at us long and hard, rightfully so. Jeff and Sarah drive me crazy... less so than their children because it is plain to see that their children behave the way they do because they LET THEM. It's a long, long rant and I don't have the energy for it.
I'm supposed to start work tomorrow, but I need a doctor's note to clear me. I called the doctor's office today and asked if I need to come in for that and be seen or what needed to happen. I was informed that my doctor doesn't usually clear people until 6 weeks, and that my 3 and a half was not long enough. I feel fine, and siiting around at home is not my style. Neither is my UNPAID maternity leave. If I had the baby here, I would understand a little better, but I don't, I'm only taking care of me, and I feel the best thing to do is go back to work. I'm not a doctor though.
I drank beer this weekend, and it was good! Haha, that may sound like a weird statement, but I went for going out twice or three times a week to no alcohol when I found out I was pregnant. I really missed beer, and now I had some! That's all about that.
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Friday, August 12, 2005
Throws PC against the wall
ARG!!! I hate my stupid desktop. More than that, I hate viruses and more than that I hate people who make them. I gave another try to getting my desktop back into a state of running smoothly, and was once again turned away. *kicks damn machine* Oh well. I have jordan's laptop for the time being.
Today was a nothing day. I did nothing. I don't mind. Evidentally, my weekend is filling up quickly. when it rains, it pours. Friends from out of town are converging on my in large quantities this weekend. It's nice and weird. I hope a good time is had by all since none of them know each other. They will soon enough, I guess.
I read Gravi manga vol 12 today. That something, I guess. It ended happily. I love Yuki.
Nothin' like a little man love...
Flint posted today. It's weird that Shanny, SG and I were wandering down memory lane last night and them he posts today... Flint, are you watching us? I'm totally thinking of looking up the Blades Mulligan story and using it for the OB event sign up. I think it would work nicely... After all, it was the beginning of a ninja geisha crime syndicate...
RANT
I hate the word extreme, or Xtreme, as it is now so often spelled. Why does even deodorant need to be Xtreme now? Why can't it just make you not stink? Not every product needs a niche product for the "extreme" counter culture. Come to think of it, not every counter culture needs to be marketed to. Most don't want to be marketed to. STOP IT!
Thank you.
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Wednesday, August 10, 2005
*picks nose and flicks it*
Nice visual, huh?
I went to work on Monday to tell Jonathan when I'd like to come back. He was very relieved to know I wouldn't be off the whole month of August after all. It's nice to be appreciated. *warm happy feeling* Also, to be on my feet for 40 hours a week may help get this baby weight off.
I hate mosquito bites.
It was awesome to chat last night. Man, Red, I've missed you.
So, I'm trying to think of what to sign up as for the OB EVENT. I am never any good about thinking up characters. I'm alright at the posts, but I just can never get inspired as to what I want to be. suggestions welcome.
No more stitches...
Jordan's schedule is all messed up this week. He's working 9pm to 9 am all week and then 9 am to 9 pm Sat and Sun with Fri off I assume. It's really just going in 2 hours eralier, but it seems weird or something. It'll be nice to have him home on the weekend nights though. I wonder what we'll find to do.
I've been catching up on my manga reading. That's where a lot of grandma's money went. I got 9 10 and 11 of Fruits Basket and some others. I got way behind these last few months, and now I have some manga happiness.
Leakage...annoyance
I'm thinking of a layout change for myO, but Stan definitely has to stay. Other than that, I am not sure where to start. Maybe it will just stay the same in my indecision.
I have suddely realized it's payday. Yayfullness! Time to pay some bills, man.
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Tuesday, August 9, 2005
And the crowd goes wild!!!
Red has returned!! And Evil has gone home from vacation... Sg's on vacation.
Well, I got word thaqt Wade, Debbie and the baby were allowed to travel and are safely home. It's been on my mind quite a bit. I now can hardly believe that it was only 2 weeks ago. I got a cost breakdown from the hospital in the mail yesterday. It's fucking expensive to have a baby. I'm doing really well, though. The physical aftermath is getting me down...
My younger brother takes his first vows on Monday. He's becoming a Benedictine Monk. It's really exciting, aqt least to me. Also exciting, Jordan is going with me to see it. When we get home though, he's going back to his house. I'm not excited about that. I really like having him and Macy (the dog) here. It's a situation that needs looking into.
My sister came to visit me on Saturday. We went and saw The Island and stuff. I didn't make it to the anime fest though. My feeling weren't too hurt by that...
YAY, RED'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Thursday, August 4, 2005
Steppin' out!
My graandmother gave me some money to buy some new clothes with. It took me by utter surprise. I don't feel like buying clothes in my current shape, so I am going to go buy something I want. Thank you, grandma!
I really want my hair to be really long again, and yet I am still clutched everyday by the need to cut it. If I just got extensions, I wouldn't have to wait, but my luck they would look ridiculous.
Jordan realized last night that he may not be able to go with me to see John take his vows. I hate his job... *glares agrily*
I'm not making any headway with the PC. Everytime I think I'm getting somewhere I get blue error pages and it freezes. There's nothing important on it, maybe I'll just go have it wiped.
My cousin and her parents are coming down over Labor Day Weekend. That's so great! I'd gush about it, but I'm actually too excited to know what to say.
I was cruising OB last night and there was a thread about two young man in Iran, I believe, who had been hung for the crime of being homosexual. I didn't post anything, but I've actually been thinking a lot about the thread since I read the posts. There are a couple of very ignorant people who voiced very ignorant opinions, but for the most part there seem to be two sides developing. (Massive generalization in my descriptions. All paraphasing and no credits. If you want to know more, read the thread yourself)
Side 1) It is an agregious act that should be viewed with distgust and action should be taken by the rest of the world to try and stop the perpetuation of the law.
Side 2) Also disagreeing with the act, but taking into account cultural differences and moral relativism. While they find the punishment to the "crime" unfitting, they admit that knowledge of the law and the punishment are widespread.
It's more in-depth than that, of course. What I found interesting and enlightening was that no one in the thread, even those who admit to thinking homosexuality is wrong, will say it should be outlawed. I was really lifted by that.
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Wednesday, August 3, 2005
Day to day (A whiny post)
It was a pretty shitty day for the mole today, kids. I just could not get happy.
I think the PC finally died, I think. Anyone who can come over and fix it? I caught a W32.Beagle virus.
For a couple of days after having the baby, I actually saw myself getting smaller. Now I can't see that anymore, and I feel so incredibly unattractive. While I was still pregnant, there was an obvious reason that I was so large. Now, While I realize I knew I wouldn't lose all the weight right away, I wish I were somewher CLOSE to fitting in some of my old clothes. I cannot stand to flabby look to my poor stretched tummy. My hips and thighs are huge too. Maybe I'm just focusing on this today to have something different to be upset about.
Actually, I felt better on Sunday. The baby ws released from the hospital to Wade and Debbie. During the week, he had been in NICU, and fully available to us. We were encouranged to visit. I was so conflicted as to whether I should want to or not and all sorts of things. On Sunday though, I knew I didn't have to feel guilty for not going, or wanting to go or anything. He wasn't there for me to see anymore. Somehow, I was put at ease by this.
I think I'm going to call Linda and see if she can see me tomorrow. I feel like talking about it now, and I don't have to feel burdensome talking to her, it's her job to listen to me.
I have this huge fear of a repeat of the last year... I'm practically petrified just to sleep in the same bed as Jordan before I go to the doctor and get some BC pills... Any kind of "adult" *wink* activity for the two of us is a long time off, I think. Between after effects of birth, fear of a relapse and a general feeling of being very unattractive at the moment, we may never have sex again...
I don't remember what all I've written about in this update. I am very scatterbrained. Anyway, I felt like shit today, and I wanted to whine about it, so there you go.
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Monday, August 1, 2005
I NEED A PENGUIN!!!
I'm here on Jordan's laptop because in the course of less than a week someone sent me a heinous virus that is proving very difficult to take care of. I make angry faces at everyone who had EVER written a PC virus. Therefore I will not be on to chat at all until I get it fixed.
We went to see March of the Penguins today. To anyone who had not noticed, penguins are my favorite thing on the entire earth. I was so excited. There were a lot of kids in the audience, but for the number of kids, they were relatively quiet. they still stressed Jordan out though, setting us up for a very fun rush hour drive home. There are many reasons my gun lives in my house and not in my car...
Anyway, back to the movie. I don't know if it was the penguins, or my propensity for sadness lately or my hormonal imbalance, but I started to bawl like 3 or 4 times throughout... Very unMollylike. Many things are lately though.
Happiness is mine for a moment. My ankles are looking normanl sized again!!!! As are my feet. It's the little things in life, you know.
How exciting is my life. I'm looking forward to watching Antiques Roadshow on PBS tonight. something that is exciting though, Wichita, KS is enlightened enough to try and hold an anime Festival on Saturday. I'm totally stoked! I would like to thank Duo for making sure that I am aware of the event, and I hope tp see you there. I Never would have thought there would ever be anything like that here. There was even a HUGE write-up about it in the paper. They showed pictures of the collections of a high school girl that I ENVY! It's hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of anime and manga. to have that sort of disposable income... *dreams*
I'm getting a new cat, again. My mother is giving me her little cat, Pestilence. Yes, the cat's name is Pestilence. As you can see, we have similar senses of humor.
Another town in the area is getting ready to outlaw Rottweilers and pit bulls in the city limits I saw on the news last night. It's completely ridiculous in my opinion. My dog (which we no longer have due to such a law) was a really sweet dog and only a very small part pit. Dogs have to be taught to be viscious.
My Grandmother sent me a very thoughtful card which I received in the mail today. She has actually been very nice though my whole thing. Perhaps she does not hate me afterall. Perhaps I was harsh in my judgement.
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Saturday, July 30, 2005
20/20 hind sight can make me feel stupid.
I may not have many friends in this city, but my friends are wonderful (spread out though they are). HAd I asked them, or even allowed them to be there for me, perhaps I would not have been so angry all the time.
I've just never been good at leaning on my friends. I always feel like I whine too much anyway. It's what friends are for, yes, I know. But it's not easy to ask them, even if you don't need to. I popped in to see a friend of mine at work tonight. His work, not mine. It's nice to just talk about how awful I feel, even if I fake laugh while I do it.
It took me all day to muster up what I needed to go to the hospital tonight. I got there around 7:15, forgetting they don't allow visitors in NICU between 7 and 8. I felt incredibly dumb and devastated, all at once.
Baby Lukas gets out of the hospital tomorrow. While I know we'll get letters and pictures, I wonder if we'll ever see him in person again. I had a dream last night that JOrdan and I got married, and Debbie and Wade came and brought him. It was a nice dream. I think it would happen too. I think they'd come if we did. They are just incredibly understanding and want to express their graditude however they can.
This is Jordan. There are so many things I want to say about Jordan. They all sound mushy and hokey. I hate both mushy and hokey... I'll say this, he loves and takes care of me, which is more than I ever expected to happen for me.
It was painful for him to leave me by myself today. You could see it. I don't want him to worry so much, especially when I can't read how he's dealing with the whole situation. I don't know what I would do if he weren't here. I really don't know how actually single women who don't have a support could deal with it. I'll admit, old habits are tempting... I'm better at bleeding than crying. I know that would just make things worse though. Jordan would really freak out and it would be so hard on him.
I'm going to go to MOm and Dad's tomorrow after he leaves for work. They will feed me and it may do me some good to sit around in someone else's house.
I didn't go to the wedding today. I took a LONG nap instead. I went to work to rent a movie, but didn't find anything I wanted. Alma has finally returned to work though, and we exchanged baby pictures. Her baby is really cute, but she kind of looks like a boy so far. She looks like her father. It was nice to talk to her, since she just had her baby last month. She kind of gets it a little. Everyone acknowledges that they will probably never know what I'm dealing with, and none of them tries to force me to feel better, and that's a relief.
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