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Wednesday, March 3, 2004
I'm feeling a little down today, and I'm not quite sure why. I barely pulled myself out of bed before 3. The first time I did was very temporary. I have little to do and no money for exactly one week until I get paid, so what would be the point in getting out of bed anyway. I can read very well right there.
Shanny, love, Have you recieved the fun and calm I sent you? If not, I'm still trying.
No more black, please. It only further dampenss my mood.
As I have only just made it out of bed, I really got nuthin' for you, kids... Maybe later, if I'm not cozy with my covers again.
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Well, since not a lot of people commented on my last post, they either didn't want to deal with the length (which, at times, I am also guilty of) or they read what I wrote about RotK and hate me now.
I've been missing a lot of you online lately. Stay up later, it's completely your fault. I hope you can tell I'm kidding.
Not a lot to talk about today, really... My typing is getting no better... Boo for lacking typing skills! It makes me look less intelligent than I actually am... My spelling looks bad and my capitalization is oten off... I should proofread.
I cancelled my credit cards today. Now I just need to pay them off. It's a step anyway...
Work was slow and boring, but it didn't suck.
There you have it, short and sweet...
From the desk of:
The Mole
EDIT: Do you ever stumble across a page and unexpectedly see your name on it's friends list? Sometimes it's a pleasant surprise. I've got the warm and fuzzies...
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Tuesday, March 2, 2004
The prodical one has returned!
Well, boys and girls, here I am. I really just wanted to leave my Oscar picks up until after Sunday. I got a lot of them wrong. Oh well...
Speaking of the Oscars... this is as good a place as any to interject my opinions about them...
-Poor Billy Murray...he looked devastated.
-I picked 3 of the 4 acting awards right!
-I wasn't impressed with what anyone was wearing.
-I can't believe Steven Spielberg mispronounced Sofia Coppola's last name.
-I can't believe Master and Commander won Cinematography.
-Billy Crystal was awful, and his teasing Bill Murray after Penn won was in bad taste.
-Lord of the Rings... I am ready for my skinnings, kids...Bring it on. RotK did not deserv to win all those awards. In the trilogy, I found it weaker than the other two, and I think that a few of them should have gone elsewhere. I think that the Academy was taking the entire Trilogy into account instead of just this one movie. Best Song should have gone to either Cold Mount for "You will be my Ain True Love" or "The Triplets of Belville". Best score should have gone to Danny Elfman for Big Fish. I mean, for God's sake, it's the same damn score that didn't win on the the other years... Adapted Screen play should have gone to Mystic River and ont of the first two LotR movies should have won this one prior to htis year. There you have it, part of my Oscar rant.
Ah, what have I been up to? That is a damn good question, but none of your business, nosey... Let's start with uhm, well... Friday. Yes, Friday... I worked Friday night and closed the store. I got home about half past midnight from work and I knew I had to work at 8 am, so I had better go to bed. I put on the movie Cold Creek Manor (a big piece of shit, by the way) and I didn't get to sleep until about 4 or 5 AM. I attribute this to the fact that I had gotten about 13 or 14 hours of sleep the day before. Everyone needs a day to sleep like a cat. If you haven't done this, I highly suggest it.
Saturday, I worked 9 and a half hours and couldn't get out of town fast enough. I went to see Jordan. We hung out and watched the Oscars... That's really all you need to know about my weekend, but it was really nice and I cannot wait to move back to Wichita so I don't have to go several weeks at a time without seeing him.
Jordan got a new job that he starts on the 6th. He is going to be working on the fire safety crew at the oil refinery. I am really happy for him. It's his first "professional" type job. He's only cooked in restuarants. Not that that job is not professional, but it's different. He'll get his weekends off and for the first time since I've known him, that's almost 5 years, he'll be earning more money than me. Maybe he'll be able to come and see me for once. I'm a little bitter about that subject, so let's move on...
Work today ROCKED. Nothing really special happened and we were slow as shit and bored as hell, but Buck was back to his old self and not standoffish with me and we talked like normal people, the way we used to. It was almost like we hadn't spent the last two months hating each other. It made me really happy and relieved. Work is really awful when you're looking over your shoulder all the time because you think the boss hates you and wants to fire you and is just looking for a reason. I, though, am really good at all aspects of my job, and therefore, he found no reason to fire or demote me and promote his golden girl (that's right, fuckin' Brecken). He kept taking responsibilties from me though, and underhandedly...not degrading, but I can't think of another word... anyway, by this time, I am pretty much an overpaid nothing. I do the minumum wage work for 9 bucks an hour. I son't fucking care, I'm getting paid the same whether I do the manager stuff or whether I do the stupid little work, i guess. I am just very self important, and therefore I think that I am importent to my surroundings as well. I actually miss the days when I started and the store couldn't run without me. That may sound like I am bragging or hyperbole, but really, I was taking care of a lot of stuff and in charge of a bunch of different things, and now... I am just like the peons...
Anyway, so there are my thoughts and activities for the last few days in a nutshell...
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Thursday, February 26, 2004
Okay, kids. I just thought I'd let you in on a little part of my everyday thought processes. I am in an Oscar craze right now, so I thought I'd put up my picks to win. These are the ones I that I think will win, not the ones I want...
SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)
Two Soldiers
I hven't seen any of the nominees, but I think it's between that and Die Rote Jacke.
DOCUMENTARY(short subject)
Asylum
Music (song)
"Into the West" From RotK
However, "You Will Be My Ain True Love" from Cold Mountain could grab it due to the fact that that movie was completely snubbed.
Visual Effects
LOTR: Return of the King
If anything else walks away with this award, I'll burn down the building, I swear.
Animated Short Film
Destino
Again, I haven't seen any of the nominees, but this one sounds foreign, so I picked it. It's not just that, it got a lot of buzz, I just live in a cultural wasteland.
Animated Feature
Finding Nemo
With Brother Bear and the little heard of Triplets of Belleville as it's oly competition, it should easily walk away with this one.
MAKE-UP
LotR:RotK
If an army of urik-ai can beat Johnny Depps' eyeliner, then angels will weep for the souls of the voters.
Film Editing
RotK
Yes, again. It's going home a winner, kids.
Documentary Feature
Capturing the Friedmans
It's between that and The Fog of War. Capturing got more of a publicity buzz, though. It wasn't overly well done or unbiased though...
Costume
The Last Samurai
I waffled on this one a bit. I almost give it to Seabiscuit, and I almost give it to RotK as well... Master and Commander, I won't give it to...
Score
Big Fish
Ok, okay, this is the one I want to win, not the one I think will win, I admit. It got snubbed, and I love Danny Elfman!
Sound Editing
Pirates of the Carribean
This was my official pick, but the more I think about it, I think Master and Commander will get it...
Sound Mixing
RotK
Cinematography
Cold Mountain
I picked my Dark Horse again. More than likely it will actually be RotK or Seabiscuit. Those in-race sequences are really cool.
Art Direction
RotK
Although Last Samurai is my close second.
Adapted Screenplay
Mystic River
Original Screenplay
Lost in Translation
Also a movie I feel slightly snubbed... I think that this will be The one for this movie.
Foreign Language Film
Twin Sisters
Regrettably, I haven't been able to see any of the nominees in this category either. (Please note cultural wasteland comment above). I just liked the name...
Supporting Actress
Renee Zellweger-Cold Mountain
She was great, really, I mean it!!The whole damn movie was great!!! It should have had a lot more nominations!!
Supporting Actor
Ken Watanabe-The Last Samurai
This is also my want to choice. I loved him, I thought he shone through the whole movie (which is more than I can say for Cruise's performance)If not him, Tim Robbins-21 Grams.
Leading Actress
Charlize Theron-Monster
She is unrecognizable, and absolutely shocking in the part of the real-life prostitute turned serial killer. If She doesn't win... Well, the angels are still crying...
Leading Actor
Sean Penn-Mystic River
Ugn, how I've gone round and round about this...Murray-Penn, Murray-Penn...What if they split the vote and Depp gets it....AAAAAGGGGHHHH I don't know this one!!!!
Directing
Peter Jackson-RotK
Although I give huge praise to Soffia Coppola for being the first woman director ever nominated. Any other year, and I think she would have it in the bag.
BEST PISTURE
LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING
There you have it, Molly's Oscar predictions. Tell me what you thin, do and don't agree with... you know, the works. Glue your butt to the couch on Sunday and watch them!!!!
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Wednesday, February 25, 2004
It is Ash Wednesday. I had almost forgotten. The moment I remembered I was supposed to fast today I felt like I was starving. Funny how that works.
I got a phone call from my best friend the other night. She wasn't feeling well, so I jumped to her aid. She lives about an hour away. I stayed the night with her, and tried to call in sick to work, but no one could work for me, so I had to haul ass home to work. Boo, I say.
Back to Ash Wednesday... It is now Lent, a religious time of sorrow and sacrifice and it is customary to make a personal sacrifice for the season. I am having trouble deciding on what to give up. I thought for a second or two about limiting my computer time, but I wouldn't punish all of you that way... I think I have decided to go with the good old standard of giving up fast food. I also thought about not being so profane, but the thought of that just makes me laugh, as there is no way I could not use foul language, it is too natural for me now. That is not something I'm overly proud of...
I am not, at this time, practicing in my Catholicism, so many people think it strange that I adhere to the protocols of Lent so strictly. I cannot exactly explain it, but to my personal spirituality it's very important. I got to Mass about 3 times a year, and those are Ash Wednesday, Good Friday, Christmas Eve Midnight Mass and Easter Vigil. I find the ceremony to these particular events beautiful. I don't know what it is, really.
Ah, anime and manga, what have I been up to? hmmm, I bought Fruits Basket Vol 1 manga. I haven't read it yet, but I'm really excited. Speaking of Fruits Basket, I took my DVDs with me when I went to Nett's house and we watched them while she was sick and I was taking care of her. She's never watched any anime before. She really liked it, though she kept asking about the emotion animations, like the sweatdrops and the super deformed states they would go into. She thought they were fun, but didn't really understand why they were so prevalent. I wish I had the last 2 DVDs in the set, and not just the first 2.
I bought the first 3 Chobits mangas, I've made it through the first two. It's pretty funny, if a little dirty... *insert juvenile giggle here*
I think I may also try to give up whiny and complaining about work for Lent. What a feat that would be, huh. Just a notion...
The K-BEE Toys in the mall here is going out of business. I keep going in to try and find things for my neice and nephews. It's kind of a lost cause, though... I don't like to give stuffed animals, but they don't have much else for really little girls. I mean really little Like 2 years old. I often forget about Jeff's kids. Not on purpose mind you. It's just that they are younger and not as advanced as Becky's boys. Regina is 2 and hasn't said a single word yet, and she's really shy. TJ is only a few months old, so it's kind of easy to forget about him... Whereas, Connor is my God-son and he's 5 now. He's always been really outgoing and talkative and smart, as has her second son, Nathan. Lucas is barely one year old, so truthfully, I forget about him too. Anyway, I bought them piggy banks, they were only 75 cents.
Good Lord, what a long, rambly post... I'm going to stop now.
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Monday, February 23, 2004
No Ben today. Today would have been as good a day as any for him to come n as I had 2 guys there all day. I hope it was just a fluke and he doesn't come in anymore. I told my manager and my District manager, so all the right people in the work place are aware of the situation.
Lighter topics...Let's see.......
Sunday is Oscar night!!!! I'm going to sit my ass on the couch and watch several consecutive hours of television, beginning to end. I'm so excited!!! I still can't believe how many awards Cold Mountain isn't nominated for. I t was much better than Master and Commander.
I'm going to see Jordan this weekend, and Saturday cannot come fast enough. I can't really afford to go, and collectively can't afford to do anything, but I am sick and damn tired of missing him. I think he is missing me as well, he's called twice this week...
Isn't it amazing what you find when you clean out your car? I thought I'd lost those shoes.
I'm worried about the dentist still... I don't want to go back. I have this really juvenile fear of the dentist. I have a pretty high pain theshold, and it never really hurts, so I'm not exactly sure why I would be afraid, but I am. It's a good thing I've got John, my hero and Mimmi, my seedy lawyer, to look after me.
I have no money!! I don't know where it went... Beer and wine and gas, that's where. Not to mention a few DVDs...and books. I've been treating myself to things I cannot afford again, BAD MOLLY!!
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Sunday, February 22, 2004
I'm a little on edge the last couple of days
I think I'm going to tell you all about Ben. Ben is a kind of scary guy. I do not mean the OBer Ben, but this guy that I am acquainted with.
I met Ben sometime last year before I moved into my apartment with Lindsay. He was an aquaintance of my friends who lived 2 floors above me. He had just moved into the apartment next door to them. I had invited my friends down to drink with us one night. They came down and they brought a not unattractive man along with them. They introduced him as Ben and informed us he'd just moved in. We were not in my apartment, thank god.
Well, during the evening, we were having some beers and a MarioKart 64 tournament. As
there were 6 of us, at least, there were always at least 2 people out. So, for a good part of the evening, I was talking to the new guy, Ben. It was pleasant enought conversation. Then all of the sudden, out of the damn blue..."I can show you my room."
I was shocked. What part of the conversation had led him to conclusion that was where any of this was going. I prompty said, "Maybe another time," and went and sat in my best guy friend's lap and told him what Ben had said to me. I was instructed that I was not to leave my buddy's lap for the rest of the evening. I also decided I was not going to go tp my apartment that night, as I didn't need him to know exactly which one my aptartment was. I remind you that we all lived in the same apartment building.
I ran into him at the bar a lot for a while. Hiding would do no good. He would always come up and dance behind me, or try and literally corner me and ask for my number.
I decided to steer clear of this guy, a sentiment that was echoed by all of my friends. I found myself watching for his truck to see if he was home and parking at other building so he wouldn't learn to recognize my car.
I was talking to one of the upstairs neighbors that had brought him over a week or two after that initial visit. He said that Ben would come over everyday and ask him for my phone number. He would then commence to talk about me in a lude manner that made even me blush to hear what he had said, not to mention more than a little nervous... On of his stranger stunts was to come tomy work at Blockbuster on a busy Friday night, get in my line and not move until he got a phone number. creepy, huh.
I have successfully avoided him for months now, owing in no small part to the fact that I moved. However, the past 3 days in a row, he's come into the store. I won't look at him or make eye contact with him, and I definitely won't help him. He's there for about a half an hour, staring at me while he walks around the store, he may rent something, though he didn't today, and then he leaves. It makes me really uncomfortable. I am really glad that I am rarely, if ever alone in the store. If he comes in tomorrow, good lord, what would I do if comes in tomorrow. I really just don't want him there, but I'm tired of locking myself in the back office until he leaves.
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Saturday, February 21, 2004
I have no answers, I have failed you all.
I am the myO big sister, challenge not my authority. I listen, I watch. I recognize shreds of my own troubled youth in so many here and in my everyday life. I always think I can redeem myself. I can do it by rescuing them. There is no rescue to be had though. I do not have the answers. I did not have them when I needed them, and I do not have them now. My own rescue came fron a venue change and just being bored with the whole thing. Eric, I need you. I need your help to sort out this lost feeling. Why am I no longer a leader? Why can I not find my way out of this hole? This gaping hole that has opened itself all the way across my road.To get to the other side, I must brave the bottom of this uncertain thing. True strength is knowing and accepting your weaknesses and flaws and finding some way to get things done in spite of them. Do not lose yourself to that dark place, darlings. I have a book of matches.
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Friday, February 20, 2004
Holy Shit, Lindsay's doing the dishes!
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Good Morning. It is the start of another regular day.
I am actually in a good mood though. It will still surprise me everytime... Just a sweet word from one person, just knowing that I'm not lost to them or forgotten, makes me absolutely beam with happiness.
Let see, I'm going to be lazy again all day and then go to work. Good plan, huh. I think laziness is what's actually going to kill me in the long run. I will just be too lazy to stop or fight whatever may be happening to me. To lazy to get out of the way of that moving truck.
I had a really strange dream that I meant to post here because it was that strange, but I have already forgotten it, and I am still haunted by my dream of Robert DeNiro trying to kill me.
I think once I post this, I will postpone visiting sites until tomorrow or at least this afternoon and go for a really long walk. It's been getting warmer, it was in at least the 50s for the last two days.
I've already been more active on OB since v7 started than I was for a long time in v6. I really like it. Good stuff folks. I still see some circular activity there, but hopefully that is not to remain a staple of things.
I'm reading Catch 22 again. I really enjoy this book. Jordan and I go round and round about it. He hates it somehow. Who knows, but I am excercizing my mind again. I hope I don't hurt myself. I am going to read more. I keep promising myself this, and once again, I fail to follow through.
Well, off for a walk and then to do dishes and read my book, see you tomorrow.
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