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Sunday, December 21, 2003
To those of you reading these awful posts, I'm sorry, and thanks for bearing with me. I'll be back to good old Molly again...I hope.
The mailman came late today, it wasn't gone until around five. That means it won't arrive until at least Tuesday.
My phone sits, silent as the grave. He won't be calling, there's a party at Miriam's tonight.
Why did he have to call me sweetheart?
Why can't my feelings make fucking sense? I just want thses ugly evil feelings and thoughts to leave me alone!
So, that didn't make any sense to anyone but me...
I'm going to jump on Red's band wagon here with a quick movie quote... If you actually know this, I love you!!
"It makes me think that chemistry’s the wrong fucking major for a guy like you, Bob!"
HAHA, it makes me laugh... guess, my babies!
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Saturday, December 20, 2003
My 23rd birthday is one week from tomorrow. I don't feel that old. I am such a kid, and yet so ready to get a good job and a house and be done with school and get married and have a nice dog, no kids, though. Twenty-three, it's really a nothing year. After 21, birthdays are just as well forgotten...two more years til I can rent a car though! Wahoo. Really, what would I do with a rental car? Oh the possibilities.
I was just thinking about it. That's all
So, as we all know happens when molly is feeling bad...
BAD POETRY TIME (the crowd roars)
In the shadow I sit.
I wait for the triumphant
return of my love.
I wait and I wait.
Finally, a glimmer of light...
The night watchman telling me to go home.
In the darkness I sit
I await my own triumpant return.
I wait and I wait.
Suddenly, I realize...
I never left, I've only changed.
What are these differences about me?
I do hate them so.
I need to be the way I was.
I should just tell me so.
I am not the woman I once was,
So strong and so resolute
I am now a shell of my former self.
The self confidence is gone,
replaced with insecurities.
What has made me turn this way?
Shall I forever be
this weak and whiny girl I hate
Why have I abandoned me?
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 I do not long to dream...
My stomach is still upset, so I think I may actually be ill, or at least on my way.
My roomate leaves tomorrow and will not be back until after New Years... I shall be lonely. All my friends are going home and I will be here alone. Probably not the best thing in my present state of mind.
So, a little story about how I almost died on the highway today:
I was driving about 80 on this 2-lane highway. A semi pulled out in front of me and I almost ran into the back of it, asshole. So I pull over into the other lane to pass it and I'm about a third of the way done passing it when a car appears over a rise, so in the span of a few seconds I have to go from 80 to 15 and get back behind the truck. My wheels locked up and my car turned sideways in the highway, but I regained control and pukked out of the spin.
Exciting times, huh...
I'm not feeling any better...just stupid. If you don't know what I'm takling about, then it's none of your business...
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Friday, December 19, 2003
Oh happy dagger, this is thy shealth. Here rust and let me die
That's my favorite line from Romeo and Juliet. It has nothing to do with this post, It's just been in my head.
I'm home for a minute before going off to work. I couldn't bring myself to talk about any of the issues I have with Jordan. I was sick to my stomach the whole about it too. I mean it, like I would get so worked up I would vomit. I am so insecure, and I never was before. I blame this goddamn town. Really, I do. that's a whole different log entry though. I am home now, about to head off to work, but I just want to go to bed...not to sleep, just for a bit of home time comfort?
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Tuesday, December 16, 2003
so, it was a joke at first, but...
SG, our business idea is really starting to grow on me...
I am off line for a few days, kids. Going to Jordan's house. It's a little scary for me right now, I don't think it's going to be the pleasant visit I wanted...It might be a no-holds-barred rumble.
SG, we need to start looking fo investors!
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Christmas and stress induced depressiona dn self pity... What's a girl to do when faced with a list like this? go on a completely irresponsible shopping spree!!
That's right, kids...I spent WAY too much money on stuff for ME!!!
Trigun Vol 1 manga
VHD Bloodlust DVD
A wool pea coat
A Bing Crosby Christmas CD
some chocolate and stuff...
I am poor now...and I spent my credit card payment...oops.
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Happy Birthday, duorocks17!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Monday, December 15, 2003
Blue Light Special: Personal Insecurities, Aisle 9!
It's a black day on Wall Street, my friends... The value of Molly's stock is plummetting. Luckily, it only affects her, as she is the only one to take stock in her life...
A bit dramatic, I know... I'm feeling a flare for the dramatic tonight. I have the Flu...I know, just days before I go to visit Jordan, and I get a heinous flu. Boo being sick!
Writing of Jordan... I just got off the phone with him. I wish he would sound happy to talk to me once in a while. Is it too fucking much to ask? I mean, just a little enthusiasm...please...
Four years of my life... This is the time I have shared with him... and I think that it may be as far as we get... I hate feeling like this. He is the most important person in my life, period...and I feel as though I am merely a side thought to his anymore...and I hate it.
I am at a point again...
Oh, and I hate miriam...If for no other reason than she knows him better than I do at this point.
Why am I not the firey, independant person I used to be? I never cared about anything...except my plants. Not people, not what they thought, not what I looked like...not a goddam thing. Now I feel like I probably should have in seventh grade...I am self-conscious and quiet, fading into wallpaper everywhere...Molly, where have you gone, and why have you abandoned me?
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Sunday, December 14, 2003
quizzes...
Chaos... your soul wishes to disrupt peace...
What is your soul looking for?? (images)
brought to you by Quizilla
A nameless character, someone lost behind the mask,
another type of main character...you are
forgotten within yourself, lonely and yet
trying to comfort others who are in pain as
you. You seem to wear a mask so they cannot see
you sad, so you wear the mask to lock away the
true pain inside...but one day, you will be
able to take off the mask, and live in the
light...
What Type Of Anime Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Huh, they did it.
I woke up this morning to the news that Sadaam had been caught...wow.
I really don't have too much reaction to it, which is weird, as much as I debated the war in a firey manner... I glad we actually finished what we started this time... Maybe now everyone will remember that there was another war in the first place...youknow, the people who actually attacked us.
WhHy is Sean Connery doing a voice over for a commercial for Level 3 communication? I wonder if he really likes that company or if he just needed some money after LGX...
Wow, Sadaam didn't even resist when they found him. I still find the "Deck of Cards" analagy for the fugitive Iraqi gov't members is stupid...
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