Jump to User:

myOtaku.com: molletta

Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.

Pages (53): [ First ][ Previous ] 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 [ Next ] [ Last ]



Thursday, August 2, 2007


And just what is wrong with that?
What the fuck am I doing? You know what, I haven't got a clue. I am feeling pretty shitty, and I'm not exactly sure why.

I take that back, I'm partially sure why. I don't deal well with rejection. That is all about that information Im willing to admit, even to myself.

All I wanted to do all day was stay in bed and just settle into a fetal position and live out the rest of my life there. Gaining bedsores and never seeing anyone... People thinking I'm a crazy old lady hermit. It couldn't happen due to me being responsible and shit. I got my mopey ass out of bed and went to blockbuster.

I think I've bitten off too much, I'm having trouble chewing. I hate one job, but love the pay and benefits. I almost love one job, I can't afford to work there full time...

I actually sat on my bed and tried to cry today. I sometime wish my eyes remembered how to do that. I alway wish a great many other things... I've started smoking again at random times, and what I wouldn't give to restart ALL of my other vices. They won't fix anything. Every joint in my body is experiencing some kind of pain lately.

Random moments of anguish, either physical or emotional are running and ruining my life right now. some one fix me... someone fix me.

I'm broken
Comments (5) | Permalink



Saturday, July 28, 2007


Not Quite sure what happened...
My laptop crashed yesterday moning just as I was getting ready to go to work. This made me sad. Once I got to work, however, I had NO TIME to worry about it. Work has become stupider than ever.

The company is making a great many changes and not communicating them until after they've been done. I got a new job title on wednesday. It was my day off. I am no longer in the department I used to be, actually, it doesn't even exist anymore. I am now service for the brand new program we rolled out on Wednesday that I received training for on Thursday. Not to mention what a clusterfuck the rollout turned into. Oh my god. The system issues that arose are ridiculous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think once the program gets on it's feet, it'll be fine. Holy shit though, let's bend the employees and the new customers over and not even lube. Shit.

In happier news, My PC is back up and running.

Shaun of the Dead >>>>>>>>> Hot Fuzz. Hot Fuzz was pretty funny, but it's got nothin' on Shaun.
Comments (3) | Permalink



Friday, July 20, 2007


I'm feeling pretty apatheitc today
I don't know what I'm going to post about, but I feel I should. I was totally wrong and my all day training was NOT yesterday, it is NEXT Thursday. *sadness* Oh well. It's time to look for a new job, I think. Courtesy exectations at TMobile are getting outragious. I'm starting to think that when they do their surveys of customers as to what they want from a CSR, people are just saying things to see what they will get a company to do. It's getting ridiculous.

On to other news, I don't think I have any... Ummm, *thinks* I'm back on the diet after a week of family eating. It's good, I'm going with mostly fruits and veggies, and if I do have something meaty, it's usually fish or chicken and it's grilled or baked. I'm trying to avoid fast food all together. hopefully I can be successful.

My shift is changing at the end of August, though not by much, it's mostly my days off that are changing. I will soon have Fri/Sat off. This is great and it sucks. Since I won't be working both days of the weekend anymore, my pay will drop by $0.50/hour. That's the part that sucks. Liz said Cox is hiring, I can get free cable and a discount on my internet. That's almost BETTER than my cheap-ass phones.

I used to be articulate and poetic. I was struck with the need to write the other night, but I could not make words flow from my pen. I had some inspiration, and the urge, I just couldn't put a coherent thought on paper. I finally got so frustrated I took a shower and went to bed.

Now I have to get ready for work..... I look forward to the end of work when I go to BARS! yay
Comments (2) | Permalink



Wednesday, July 18, 2007


I will punch you in your fucking faces.
I am home from vacation. I am very glad to be here. I'm still fucking tired, but I had a fucking awesome time, if you don't count the driving. My family is awesome and I dig them. I would so rather hang out with my father's side of the family than my mom's. They are way too uptight (and judgemental) and when we go there, it's kind of funny to watch the transformation of my mother almost into one of them. Anyway... a bunch of lunatics, that's what my family is and it's tons of fun. We can sit around just yapping about nothing and it's a great time. I'm almost jealous of myself.

Traffic in Branson is horrific. Of all the things we did, what I will always remember is the stupid ugly traffic.

The whole time I was in the Ozarks, I had no problems with my allergies, now that I'm back in KS, I want to rip my nose off my face.

To all of you I was chatting to last night, make fun of me all you like, I had a good time. BTW *smites*--- so there.

Today I went and saw Live Free or Die Hard... It was alright, but definitely my least favourite Die Hard. Again, most of the best stuff was in the preview.

On a more positive note, I have spent most of today watching "The Lost Room" the Sci-Fi channel mini-series. I'm about half-way through, and I am basically glued to the TV. I only paused to watch Ghost Hunters. I have an obsession.

I have to go back to work tomorrow, I was sad about that until I remembered just now that I have ALL DAY TRAINING tomorrow. That's right, no phone time, at all. I am slightly relieved.

Comments (4) | Permalink



Friday, July 13, 2007


I need more wine
My husband has been sick for a week. I started my period yesterday, and I leave tomorrow for a week long trip with out jordan. Holy crap, I hope he's ready for some marathon *inapproprite content* when I get home... Shut up, we're married.

Work is going alright. I'm still having a ton of fun at blockbuster, and Tmobile is getting back to better. I just need some more time to watch the movies I rent... I just picked up premonition with Sandra Bullock. When am I going to watch it? Fuck if I know.

In other news, Transformers does not suck. Also, Harry Potter was pretty great. Not to mention (once again) Daniel Radcliff kinda gives me Mrs. Robinson thoughts...
there were some changes, but nothing too hate-able, at least in my opinion...

I am totally stoked to pick up my copy of the new HP book on the 21st... *drools* I NEED IT!! MUST HAVE IT. I hope no one expects me to pay attention to them on the phone at tmobile that day.

Alan, you're evil, but I still love you...

Comments (3) | Permalink



Sunday, July 1, 2007


And I'm Hungry Like the Wolf
Schultzie, I love you man... If I never am allowed to say another thing to you because aliens invade the earth and humanity is enslaved and they destroy the internet, know that I think you're the greatest, and you truly are my personal superhero.

Many thanks to all of those who gave me your kind and encouraging words for my last post. I'm glad it's not just me who has trouble. I loves you kids, yous the bestest...

I'm home alone tonight. Jordan had to go to Norman. I"m going to sit at home and chat with anyone I can find online and play video games. First must come bleach on Adult Swim. I know, I know, I've got a great laptop now, why not just watch the fansubs... but really I don't mind the dub, and I kind of like the anticipation of seeing a new epi every week, it makes me feel like a kid waiting for Saturday morning.

Work has been kinda shitty. I'm not excited to be there. Many of you know this already due to the fact that I am constantly signed in to MSN on my blackberry and talking to you instead of working. shhhh, don't tell.

uhm, ok, so I'm having a BLAST working at Blockbuster, and I miss that job. I wish they weren't so stingy. I need $$$ and I deserve more money than they want to pay me for being my ONLY job.

I'm so excited to go on vacation, and if I'm not too lazy to post in the next couple of weeks, that's probably all you'll hear about. Jordan's birthday is the 10th or 11th... he doesn't want me to remember, so the fact I can't remember which does not bother him.


Comments (1) | Permalink



Friday, June 29, 2007


I'm a fucking scaredy cat
First off, SG, I'm glad you're home safe. North America has missed you.


Ok, so, I don't have the guts to communicate. After talking to a few people over the last couple of weeks, I have realized I'm a big chickenshit. One friend tries to talk to me about having a hard week, and I clam up due to the fact I can't think of what to say. I really wanted to be there for him, and I had nothing to contribute to the converstion. Why? because I'm afraid to say anything. I don't know if he realized this, or just thought that I was letting him vent, but I felt like I was abandoning him. and I felt shitty.

Again, as I was being married, I cannot look my husband in the face and tell why I love him, or what makes me love him, just that I do love him. I just get all embarrassed and I can't do it. I tel him I love him so often, he probably doesn't even think I mean it. shit.

Anyway, I digress... I find that when I think or talk about myself, it's always I wish this or I can't that. Whatever. I'm tired of it... I don't know how to fix it, but I'm tired of it.


meh

Comments (3) | Permalink



Sunday, June 24, 2007


The parade trampled my garden
Starship Troopers is on TV. The sheer brilliance of the propaganda in that movie always amuses me. The whole movie should have been done in that styling. Casper Van Dien is so awful, but Denise Richards is worse.

Soooooooo, my car won't start. Stupid broken car. I think it's the starter. Makes sense, right: won't start, must be the starter. There's more evidence than that, but the thing is that my little foreign car has the most inconveniently placed starter anywhere. However afer talking to my firend,Schultzie, I have faith that I (or Jordan *wink*) can figure it out.

My dad is out at wheat harvest. It seemed so earliy, until I realized that is is basically the last week of June. When the HELL did that happen? While going quickly, it's actually been a long couple of weeks. I'm really frustrated at work. as are a great many other people I know. hopefully, it's just a phase. I often get dissatisfied at my jobs. I'll persevere!

So, last week I educated a couple of my excellent friends of Sci Fi's ani-mondays. to those of you who visit and don't yet know, Sci Fi is showing an anime block starting at 10 pm central time monday nights to compete with Adult swim... yippee! I was rather intrigued by Tokko. One of the shows they aired last week, very sci-fi. Zombies. Also they were playing Macrosse Plus. Nami was very excited.

My tomato plans are HUGE, and they now have buds on them. I shall soon have garden tomatoes. you may envy me. Now that I've bragged, I'm sure the bunnies will eat them.
Comments (1) | Permalink



Wednesday, June 20, 2007


Guide to Guestbook Entries
Make it grammatically correct and honest. Do you really want the first impression you give someone to be ridiculous? I mean like this: OMGZUR SITE IS SOOO KEWL, I LOVE EVERYTHIGN AOBUT TU. YOU MUST BE TEH AWSUM. I ADD YOU RITE NWO!
Be articulate, that's all.

Alright, so I went back to Blockbuster and I realized I kind of miss that job, a lot. I really don't care how unprofessional or ungrown-up it is. I wish it paid me enough to stay there, I miss it and I'm good at it. I kind of like working both jobs though.

Personal thought I've had in the last couple of days... My bra is not fitting properly! I've grown out of my A-cup, even the B! Yea! Even at 26, I hit a random growth spurt. Although, I think it's mostly due to the fact I'm still putting on weight. the Yea boobs, boo fat.

Goddamn, I had to get up at 8:15 this morning and that's just mean. It's weird, work was either REALLY busy or really not. I kept getting bored. It's alright though.

I went and saw Ocean's Thirteen tonight, it was very entertaining. Much better than the second one, and I was very happy to see Eddie Izzard and Super Dave Osborn. I have to say, Maybe my favorite scene in the whole thing is the very opening scene, and the scenes between Scott Caan and Casey Affleck. Usually they annoy me, but I laughed my ass off at them this time. The random (or maybe not so) appearances by Vincent Cassel. I LOVE HIM, he's wonderful and French... Look him up if you don't know who I'm talking about.
Comments (4) | Permalink



Monday, June 18, 2007


*YAWN*
I took yesterday off and spent the afternoon with Jordan. I had kind of hoped to do outdoor stuff, but it poured for a while. We just sat around the house watchin' DVDs and playing Trivial Pursuit. He always wins, but it was fun. HOWEVER, I do often feel dumber after playing. My confidence in myintelligence is waining, really. I doubt with the information in my brain, I probably couldn't pass a GED test. Thank god I finished high school ages ago.

I have to open at Blockbuster tomorrow. It's been awhile, I hope I dont forget anything. Not to mention, that means being there at 9. I haven't been out of bed before 10 in ages... I'll make, I know I will. I'm totally waiting for that paycheck so I can go on a shopping spree. I did kind of splurge on books yesterday. I bought ALL of Madeline L'Engles books. They are such fond childhood memories for me. If you havent read them, pick them up. I promise you won't regret it. I also picked up the new Bleach volume. Yea! Not to mention Brian, the guy who sits next to me at work will be very excited. I kind of got him hooked.

I forgot to call my brother on his birthday. I'm a bad sister.
Comments (4) | Permalink

Pages (53): [ First ][ Previous ] 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 [ Next ] [ Last ]