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// I cannot leave here, I cannot stay / Forever haunted, more than afraid / Asphyxiate on words I would say / I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue // (Chorus) There are no flowers, no, not this time / There'll be no angels gracing the lines / Just these stark words I find / I'd show a smile, but I'm too weak / I'd share with you, could I only speak / Just how much this hurts me // I cannot stay here, I cannot leave / Just like all I loved, I'm make-believe / Imagined heart, I disappear seems / No one will appear and make me real // (repeat Chorus) // I'd tell you how it haunts me / I'd tell you how it haunts me / Cuts through my day and sinks into my dreams / I'd tell you how it haunts me / Cuts through my day and sinks into my dreams / You don't care that it haunts me // (repeat Chorus) // Just how much this hurts me / Just how much you // AFI, "This Time Imperfect", Sing The Sorrow //


Tuesday, October 5, 2004


   And then I came back... Mary Poppins Style.
Yeah, so I finally decided to come here and update again. Quite a bit has happened since my last complaint. Let's start at the very beginning. It's a very good place to start.

Do: I'm finally a senior, with all the great privelages that said honor conveys. I get out after sixth period. I finally feel slightly taller than the majority of the freshmen. I get to go to college. (Okay, since I changed my entire focus, it's not all that easy anymore. And my school has this whole suck-out-the-last-bit-of-money-possible mind state, so I have to pay for all 5+ of my transcripts to be sent. At least, I think it's around five. Not to mention portfolio disc that I have to get someone else to burn for me. But that will be discussed later, along with a college rant.)

Re: I'm in the fall show, Pippin! All hail Player #257! Not really, but that's how it feels. It's really fun, and I finally met Potter (alias Sean)! He and Jess are just so sickeningly cute... But that's not the point. I've gotten the whole song thing down, but the dance part just throws everything off. Cathy (the choreographer) makes my head hurts with her confusing hop-skip-pose.

Fa: I'm also now a Saturday School student at the University of the Arts, right here in good ol' nearby Philly. One System of a Down CD, and I'm there on the Avenue of the Arts! So far, my one whole class has taught me a lot. Negative and positive space. Stroke variation. How to draw straight lines. And that Utrecht is the best damn art supply store in the creation of this ball of dirt, water, and magma! I could spend Bill Gate's fortune in that store! If only I could marry it...

Sol: Kourtney, my bishie lovin' buddy, has left Prendie for Bartram's AP program. I feel all loney. Who's going to loan me my mangas when Mark won't now?!

La: I have a horrible cold. I have these intense want to roll over, kick feebly a few times, and let my tongue loll out of my mouth. But I shan't! Pippin needs me to woo! (Long and incredibly stupid story. Maybe I'll tell it later. I'm running out of octave notes.) lance needs my Soprano I falsetto! (Not really, but it makes me feel special. And I swore to him today that I remembered the Messiah from last year.) And April needs me to design all her wedding gear! (This one is actually true. I have one design for my own prom dress, so I decided to get started on her stuffs. It's really pretty. I need to go look for burgandy corsets too...)

Ti: I have this stupid tendency to do everything at once. And now I'm screwed. I'm illustrating a comic, working on my portfolio, doing commissions, going to art school, preparing for the play, preparing for the winter concert, filling out applications, and going to school. Oh, and all the clubs and sports school entails. It's like trying to be Atlas! It makes my head hurts.

Do: Back to my senior-ness with a funny story and a rant. Today, after my sixth period (chorus) I decided to stay in the Black Box and try to sleep. Unfortunately, I forgot what freshmen were like. They were so loud and obnoxious, that every time I drifted off, I was immeadiately awakened. About halfway through said class, they all decided to take notice to the fact that I was there. First, Lance said he had shot me. That hurt, and as I was awake instead of asleep, I couldn't help but move a little to see what they did. If only it were closer to Halloween... Anyways, he told them the real reason. It's a senoir privilege to sleep on the couch in the Black Box. They all promptly turned around and tried to guess who I was. Loudly. So I turned over and tried to fall asleep again. Someone got up and started playing the piano and I started to drift again. Classical always makes me dreamy. Then three tuneless nitwits decided to get up and sing a random and rousing round of 'Happy Birthday' to no one in particular. So I got up and left. And they said Lance scared me away. .:sigh:. Freshmen...

Yeah, that's the majority of my life in these past few weeks. Interesting, no? Yeah, I didn't think so. Maybe I'll post something else later...

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Monday, August 2, 2004


Alegrķa
So there was a tiny bit of a flood yesterday. I still could be kept from la Cirque du Soleil (yes, I can actually spell it now) and my best friend's sweet sixteen. Alegrķa was amazing, from the acts to the outrageous costumes to the wonderful music, but one thing still bothers me: why no pictures?! I just wanted to have something to use as reference for art work and designs. Yet that idiot little prick made me delete the file from my camera. But it seems nothing was done about all the other flash around the tent. Then again, I couldn't exactly see. But I do have the CD with, conviently, the exact costumes I wanted. What luck. The songs are a bit inspiring by themselves, so I probably won't have a problem.
As for my Nikki's skating party, it didn't happen, at least not on Sunday. The rink was more than a little flooded so we went to her house instead. It was fine with me, I finally got to see Kill Bill volume 1. I plan on buying it sometime in the near future along with volume 2. The party was rescheduled for Thrusday, but I shan't be here. I was able to give her most of her present though. The tea and necklace she absolutely loved. The clown nose she found hysterical. At least I helped make her birthday somewhat better.
I've been sucked into this online game called Popmundo. Basically, you work towards becoming a star. I only started today, but I like it for some reason. My character is Elna Hardy and is the founder and sole member of Alegrķa. She's also on welfare at the moment, but only because I suddenly wanted money. Ah well.
Nothing else is happening in my life. I have fallen completel in love with the music from Alegrķa though.

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