Tuesday, August 9, 2005

Life,,
Oh yeah.. yeah, life's fine. PERFECT INFACT! So bloody perfect that my brother's is part of the reason to why my mum feels like shit and wants to pick up and leave! ARGH! I HATE ALEC SOOOO MUCH! He's such an insensitive fucktard, I really mean it!! My Mum was banging on his door to see if he was there and he didn't even bother to reply or anything! All he needn't to fucking do was say "what?" or whatever.. but no! He gets my mum worried and scared or whatever.. I was watching the stepford wives at the time and the next thing I know I can hear my mum crying and just running into her room. URGH! GODDAMN!! I'm sooo amazingly frustrated at the moment... not to mention scared shitless! Ok... I'm really scared shitless! My Dad is banging doors and he's really mad for some reason. Awww man! I really don't wanna be hear!!!! I swear I'm gonna burst into tears any moment now.. I can't handle anything! AT ALL! Nothing!! Fuck sake!
My Mum turned round to me and said theres no point in me staying, I should just leave... there's nothing hear for me!
How can I respond to that? What can I say? I just ended up saying "mmm".. it's hard you know? Because you can actually FEEL the tension in the house. It's happened before now, where I just want to crawl under my covers and be forgotten. I'm gonna be sooo... traumatised? (I dunno) if my mum leaves!! I promised myself that this year I'm gonna work work work the whole time in school and at home to get good grades for her. But what should I do if she's gone? Go back into my downward spiral? This sorta thing is waaaay outta my hands! I can't do anything about it, I can't do anything for my mum! I'm sooo fucking useless!
Most hardest thing ever is that Jaz is not around! Without Jaz to talk to... I don't have anyone. I can't escape the house or nothing, I'm stuck! Completely caught in the middle of everything, of everyone's feelings!!

Well I'm gonna go cry now because if I don't I'll end up crying at the computer anyway...
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Friday, August 5, 2005

I feel really lonely without Jaz to hang out with and talk to online T_T. She's gone on holiday for 10 days and we spend every waking moment together... so it's really weird without her around. She's my best buddie in the entire world! I consider her as family to me. Awww this sucks! I would talk to people who added me online, I would.. if Jaz was online as well so we could make fun of them while I'm chatting to 'em. Just not the same! OhmiGod! How geeky does that "phillip" guy looks and acts! He really really does resemble my x, Joe! How dorky can you get?! You see! I've resorted to saying things I would normally be laughing about with Jazzy-Mac-Jazzy on here... awww I'm sooo lonely! No one decent to talk to online. All the people online are either perverted and want me to flash or are shyly but obviously trying to get off with me. This is stupid! None of my other friends come online either! Where is Lara when you need her? It's way too late to call anyone, so I'm kinda stuck with my xbox game still going and a nirvana song running. The reason anyone cool isn't online... is?! Argh there is none! I've watched everything possible on TV! I went through Scrubs, Will & Grace, Big Brother, 8 out of ten cats, Big brother, Live at the Apollo and desperate housewives. I was damn right desperate to watch the last one! That's something Elina is into. Elina is into every single american sitcom and reality TV show ever shown on British television... she is quite scary when she starts going on about what happened. She is really good for informing on exact detail.. but not if you don't give a damn! Ahhh you see?! I'm blabbering on about anything and everything now, when I really needn't to because I've already posted something today! Well I'll just not have to bother posting anything tomorrow then! I'll try picking up a book and watching TV until Jaz comes back so then I can have her to chat online with. Awww people heeeeeeeeeelp!
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Yet again I haven't been bothered to add any post.. I feel soooo bad, ok I actually don't since I'm doing it now! Damnit!

Yesterday I woke up at like 1pm since my mother rudely came in and woke me up.. how cruel! I tried to waste the day by playing on dead or alive 3 on my xbox. Then I came to the verdict that I have to go on the computer. I went on msn and started chatting to this long faced american guy who is also into anime. He keeps calling me hotness or something like that.. I dunno it's really disturbing. Though he is funny so we can over look that. Ohmigod! When me and Jaz first added him from a chat room onto msn and he put his webcam on.. we were holding in our laughter sooooooo much! Since he just looked sooo funny.. and he looked like my brothers x-gf but a guy, that's what cracked me up so much. Don't say I'm mean for laughing at him since he is a pervert and he's arrogant. This other guy also added me and he looks like MY x-bf, Joe. But he has lighter hair. I don't like him.. not because he looks like Joe (the ugly twat) but because he's a little geeky as well. He lives in scotland and he went on about a neck injury he had 2 years ago. The thing is.. he didn't say what happened, just the fact he had one. I was so tempted to say "did your mum drop you on your head?" but I felt that would be too rude and mean to say it to his face.
This other person I was chatting to was 20, I persume it was a woman from the purple font. It was a really good chat! We talked about society and fatty foods, technology etc. I found out that she/he was study history and two other things in university. Went on about future carreers and stuffs. It was really good, better than most conversations I have with 16 yr olds. Better than "can I see your tits?" I was really upset that I had to go because my dad came home and he was kicking me off the computer. It was like noooooooooooo intellectual conversation! But ahh well.. what can you do aye?

I really like talking to ... well not exactly strangers but random people, it's cool.

Well not exactly like yesterday was a bright day for me, hopefully I can do something more constructive today.. probably not.
Have a good day and talk to people! Yay!
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Tuesday, August 2, 2005

Just read Lainey's email. She commented on my new hair since I sent my friends all a picture of it. I'm really glad she liked it, so that's good. Her email was like 4 days late but I'm not fussed.

Sorry I haven't updated, I would say I've been busy but that's partly true.. so I'll just say I couldn't be bothered even when I have been on the pc. Though I'm bothering now so, meh ha!

Ummm.. Yesterday me and Jazzy-Mac-Jazzy went to our usual hangout (Outside (and inside) St Phillips shops). There's this new shop there called The Range, it's like a home furniture store... but it sells other crap like arts and crafts stuff. Basically it sells everything you can stick in your house. Ha! It was really funny since we were running around sitting on every sofa and rocking chair. Basically messing around and getting followed by security guards ^^;;
Jaz bought me one of those furry wormy things that having invisable string which makes them look like they are real. They were realised aaaaaaages ago, but I got sooo happy when I saw them again! So she bought me and herself one. Mine's purple (to match my hair, ha) and it's name is Jim Jam Roll Rolley Craigey. I named it Craigey first after my favourite person in Big Brother, Craig. But then it smelt like my cat Jim so I called it Jim Jam. The rolley part was just the time and place I guess, so whatever. Ha Ha! We also found this Rugby ball across the road from where I live on a patch of grass by a tree. So I kicked it across the road. Then Jaz ran and grabbed it. She took it into my house and I still have it, lol. We called it Arnold, after Hey Arnold. Since Hey Arnold has a foot ball shaped head so we dres Arnolds face on it and well.. The Rugby ball became the arnold on my sofa

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Friday, July 29, 2005

My dad woke me up at like 4.16pm! I absolutely HATE being woken up at whatever time it happens to be. I was sooooo annoyed that I was woken up from a deep sleep I kicked the wall with frustration and now my foot hurts.
Not much to my day really... played Dynasty Warriors some more, my stinky brother took the memory card so all the characters which you can play (which is not many) are EXTREMELY weak and last about 2 mins playing time. I'm sooo annoyed with him, since I did ASK NICELY for the memory card but he's too damn selfish and caught up with his own thoughts to even reply! Just because his ONE AND ONLY girlfriend dumped him while they were on holiday with their mates, doesn't mean he has the right to ignore me and keep the memory card hostage. Yes, I do feel sorry for him, but come on! It was weeks maybe even a month ago it happened! He didn't even listen to the reason he went straight to being upset! Why can't he just accept that she's a whore since whatever girl dumps someone while on holiday is not worth his time! It's really upsetting me! I mean he's all depressed and quiet.. well more than he normally is. He hasn't seen much of his mates and he's not as happy as he has been. Not to mention he's gone back to being mean to me for no reason and hated my guts for living in the same house! Argh! I never liked that stupid whore! She was a music room prefect and she kicked me outta the music rooms for just stepping in looking for someone, cow. All I want is my memory card damnit!
Anyway... what else happened in my day? Had dinner and just well.. sat down and watch tv. Watched Will & Grace, oh and Scrubs! My two favourite programmes ever, I must say! Just watched big brother and Kemal has been evicted!!! OHMIGOD! WHY IS EVERYONE I WANT TO STAY IN EVICTED?! Makes me soooo annoyed! I wanted Science to stay in last time but nooooo they had to keep Orlaith! Same with Kemal! Grrr Orlaith!

I must sound really pissed off and annoyed but I really don't feel annoyed... I feel frustrated and I'm moving around alot but thats about it.

Ahhh moving into Yr10 next year, that is sooooo freaky! Well at least I know one thing... I'm with Laine for Art next year. I'm really excited about going in for the first day of yr 10! We don't get any lessons on the first day and well... I get to come in at 10! Ha ha!! Oh yeah, I also get a blue planner rather than a red one.. hee hee! I'm interested in what I get for D.T next year... since I don't know what I've got. I'm interested to see whose in my lessons for things. Yr10 is gonna be soooo cool! Except for all the coursework, yr 10 mocks and exams not to mention keeping up with my work. I'll manage somehow, I hope ^^;;
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Thursday, July 28, 2005

Whoooa new hair!
Yes people.. I have changed my hair again! I think this will probably my yr 10 look. Lets see.. yr 7 was blonde and brown strikes yr 8 was long red hair and this year was dark brown brazil nut with a fringe, until I got it cut to a side fringe. Umm but now it's that style but only PURPLE! My favourite colour in the entire world! It's come out well, my mum really likes it. I don't think my school will appreciate it.. but fuck them! I've had soooo many hairstyles I can hardly keep up myself ^^;;

My day went well... had a lovely dream I beat the shit outta Kirsty, aww it was class. It was till Jaz came in, you wake up to your best friend taping you on the shoulder saying "Rachy". We didn't do much, since she had to go really early and we spent ages dying my hair. When I say ages I mean 2 hours and more.. so... you know ^^
There hasn't really been much to my day come to think about it.. just my hair and watching alot of crap on tv really. Though I can't say it was crap, they were documentaries on stuff like whats in Supermarkets meats. Oh and American wifeswap, which cracked me up. Answer this question, are all Americans really that extreme and dramatic? This woman was crying because the house wasn't properly cleaned like hers and people were living in it. That cracked me up so much, I was laughing for ages. Well.. you learn something new everyday ^^
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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Wasn't my day fun?! Walked like 5 miles and over, so you can't say I don't have a strong kick in my legs.
Me and Jaz walked to Town (which was a mile), went into River Island, Blue Star, topshop etc looking for a nice skirt. We manage to come across a nice mini skirt with a zip going right down the front, it's really nice. It's also a mini skirt which is better! Nice comfy skirt for clubbing come to think about it ^^.
We also bumped into Jaz's X-bf's, Callum, brother, KC. Fucking fit, not to mention funny! Met a few people today along with KC. Met this really funny guy called Jordon and then a buncha goths so... it was all good ^^.
I also brought some hair dye called plum 50 but it's sooo purple! So I'll be doing my hair tomorrow. My parents don't know I brought it, because I'm sucha a rebel as you can clearly see. Meh they've seen me gone red why not purple? If they don't like it they can fuck off I don't really care. So walking around town from like 1 to about 6 that counts for more miles along with the walk home. Not to mention it decided to start raining and me and Jaz were knackered come to the long walk home -_-
But I'm home and hungry. I'm really tired as well! Ahh gonna collapse.
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Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Ha twas a fun day!
Went out with Jaz, met up with Ruby got kicked out of Ruby's house for making too much noise. But it was worth it! I haven't seen her in aaaaaaaaaages! So it was good to see her again. We are arranging a special get together so that will be something cool to look forward to ^^

After getting kicked out of Ruby's house me and Jaz went down to KFC and had .. well what you could call lunch at like 4-5pm. Though it was more of a snack. Then popped over to sainsburys and brought sweet crap. I got really high on the mini jawbreakers. It was really funny. We also got stuck in the middle of a road. Since we crossed one bit then got stuck in the middle because all the traffic was going down the turning we were trying to cross. So we got stuck, I sat down after a while since I was laughing so hard about nothing. I sat down because I was going to fall over anyone. Then I saw a fit guy on a bmx and got really horny, ha! I felt really light headed like I just downed aload of vodka or something. It was all really cool and fun though.

I haven't got pissed since... God since May in school and all I remember from that is a major hangover.
I'm going to this Club loud place again with this time not just Jaz but Ruby and Rose aswell. So we can all get a little tipsy before we go and come out with at least 10 guys following us! I have to buy a new mini skirt! A nice black one and maybe a new top though I definently want a new mini skirt... lets see.. that'll be like £10 under. I have £10 somewhere, I need to save a fiver (£5) for this club thing so.. God being a girl is hard!
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Monday, July 25, 2005

Your Lightsaber is Blue

Blue is often associated with depth and stability.
It symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom,
confidence, and truth.


What Colored Lightsaber Would You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yay a blue light saber! Tis the colour of Anakin's light saber before he turns into Darth Vader! I like him before he says he is Darth Vader, tis more sexy before that bit ^^
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The highlight of my day was probably taking a bath... I know sad isn't it?
My mum did bring me back a few things from Greece, including strawberry chocolate, really really pretty coral and amber dangly earrings and a bath set. So I used the bath set with a natural spounge and olive oil bath foam. Twas lush and it semlt lush... now I smell lush! mmmmm. Yeah so that was the only real highlight.
Last night was soooo cute! Me, my brother and my sister went down a trip of memory lane! It was funny! My brother never really comes down from his room or talks to us together. But last night he was being really funny and we were all having a sibling bonding moment. We put on the only two videos of our childhood on and we were all well... laughing and it was all really sweet. We never really come together or talk together.. not since we were alot younger. Twas really cool ^^
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