Saturday, June 25, 2005

   Lazy day...
How shameful... getting up at like 5pm on a Saturday!
My mum came about 5 times trying to get me to get up. I got fed up and locked my door, she soon left me alone.
My dinner wasn't much... what my parents cooked me was chips and ... well... something yucky. I don't like homemade chips that much and well... I can't say much for the cold yucky thing they expected me to eat! I got in a piss from being woke up and lack of decent food. I stormed off to my room and was pondering on what I should do in the mean time.... looked on the floor (clean floor now parents vaccummed) and saw all my copies of "the essential guide to BEAUTY". I only collect them because they come with free make-up so I don't have to spend ages in boots wondering on what colour lip gloss I should buy!
I fucked around with my make-up for a bit... putting all my eye shadows in one pile, eyeliners in another, etc.
Then I heard my ginger and white fat fluffy kitty meowing, opened my door and called him up. He ran up the stairs (slowly) and came in my room. I set up my bed so he could have a comfy place to sleep (he's still up there and it's like coming up to 12am now), he jumped on it happily and SPLAT he went on my pillow! After all that hard preperation of straightening my bed, he goes for my pillow!
I laid down on the bed with him and was smothering him for a while with. I looked over at my alarm clock, it was just after 7pm. I turned on my TV and all there was on was.... Tennis!! Changed channels... more tennis... changed again... the news, then I changed to channel 5 and a JACKIE CHAN MOVIE HAD JUST STARTED! Laying next to Jim (my kitty) I watched it with him. Course Jimmy fell asleep during and as my head was next to his... he decided to stretch his paw across my face (my eyes). Suddenly realising all I can see is fur and not my TV, I thanked Jim for blocking my view of the TV and slowly removed his paw. He didn't like that so he rolled over.
It was a good Jackie Chan film, it was called The Medallain... I think thats how you spell it. Correct me if I'm wrong, onegai.

Ano... up till now, I've been watching more Descendants of Darkness with Nii-san! I love it, it's soooooooooooo cool!!!
Can't wait for the final episodes, I really can't!!
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Friday, June 24, 2005

   My parents are vaccumning my room... that hasn't been done for a good year or so! I'm hardly ever in my room and when I am I'm only in there because I'm doing Art work. I tend to make a large mess when I'm doing art so... I guess that doesn't help!

It was raining so hard today!! It was a constant thunder and lightening storm all throughout the day! Oooo the wetness of it all!
Hee Hee we had next years yr 7's walking around the school. Little yr 6's looking really lost and frightened! It was funny in Geography because Sarai made a arse of herself in front of the yr 6's and they were all watching her. Sarai didn't realise they were there and when they went Liz mentioned it to her and demonstrated what she was doing. While Liz was demonstrating a whole new group of yr 6's was looking in the class room watching Liz make a ass of herself. I was shitting myself laughing and Liz seemed a little embarrassed. It was really funny at the time. *chuckles to self in corner of room*

That about sums up my day...
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Thursday, June 23, 2005

   my day....
What can I say about my day?

P.E ... we had swimming though I didn't do it since my swimming costume from yr 7 obviously doesn't fit me and its hard to find JUST black swimming costumes. Do you know what my punishment was (along with Elaine, Jenny,Sumy, New girl and Dionne) to count active kid vouchers.... the worse thing about that was... MY MUM GAVE SOME TO ME TO GIVE IN WITH MY NOTE!!!!!!!!! I got soooo annoyed! I got even annoyed when I found out everyone had a FREE swimming lesson!!! Could it get any worse? YES! I have to make up that FREE swimming lesson in an after school detention! You think going to a christian school they would punish you by not being allowed to pray for an hour! But NO! T_T
*thinks* what else happened in school???????
OH YEAH!
Get this... Liz, laine, SArai, Me, Sumy and Sarah wrote a note to kirsty telling her that she is a bad person and should die! (Well on those lines anyhow), get this... imagine that if your friends gave you a note in the person you hate the most handwriting with what your friends think of you! YOU'D BE PRETTY UPSET! LMAO! WELL THATS WHAT WE DID TO THAT BLONDE UGLY STICK! HA SHAME! Handed her a note in MY HANDWRITING telling her she is too rude and bitchy for their liking! She was in tears! Her fucking miserys my healing! She wrote back saying all the good points about liz laine etc! Fucking cheek! Trying to squeeze her way into being friends again! What a cunt fuck!

Yeah nothing else interesting about my day.... Apart from when I came home Jazzy was there!! I was sooo happy sooo quickly it was a scary mood change! Her and Callum broke up and she needed someone to talk to! She was starting to cry since her eyes went red but I quickly changed that by acting like a ass and cheering her up! She's gone home now T_T and got a good bollocking from her mum since her mum didn't know where she was though Jaz did call about 1000000000000000 times! She told me if gets a real bollocking she'll stay at her Aunty Claires house, which is just literally up the road from me. We were talking about how she could pass herself off going to my school for tomorrow! I have tonnes of blouses tonnes from when my sister used to go to the school! Ones bond to fit Jaz, not to mention it's summer uniform so we don't have to wear our school jumpers! Not hard to find some trousers either! So.... we could easily get away with it! We could say that she's from... AMERICA Ha! That would work and she's only staying with me for 3 days. Not to mention her parents want her to go to school since they are strick and won't let her miss a day of it! That would sooooooooo work!
But it is unlikely that would ever happen!
Though you never knoooooooooooooooooooooow...
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Wednesday, June 22, 2005

   OH MY FUCKING GOD!
STEFAN THE HORSE FACE THAT SMELLS OF ASS FANCIES ME!
GROSS! URGH URGH URGH URGH!!!!!
I really really hate him! He is soooo annoying!! I can't stand to even look at him when he's around!!
He always fucking comes up to me when he sees me! I had an idea he liked me but I didn't think I was RIGHT!!! ARRRRRGH!!! I DON'T WANT HIM TO LIKE ME! Let alone talk to me!!
I've got it planned out though! I asked Dave to do me the favour of pretending we are going out and then he can fool Stefan by telling him to back off from his girl or something. Clever isn't it? Only problem is... Dave hasn't been online and I've blocked Stefan because I don't wanna talk to him.
Actually I could mess around with his head a little what do you think I should say to him to fuck around?
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   In I.T, tis first lesson! Everything is back to the way it was before. I still feel hurt and uncomfortable but I'm getting by.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MORGAN!! (Aka Furrypenguin/the furry one)

I did say I'll mention you in one of my posts ^^

Hee Hee in Tutor (I think it's called homeroom or something in america) we didn't have Mr Higgins so Temi and Matt G were playing tennis in the room. Our tutor room is in a science lab as well so that made it interesting.
Lara keeps poking my side ...
ooo gtg CYA PEEPZ!

Happy Birthday again Mo!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Tuesday, June 21, 2005

   OH MY GOD!
I feel totally guitly for saying all that stuff about my friends! Especially about liz and laine!!! I'm still a little pissed at Sumy and I will always hate Kirsty... but Liz and Laine have totally redeemed themselves!!!
Laine is sooo sweet and pathetic!! I guess I got mad at her being utterly useless at comforting... she told me before! I guess I forgot that!
I got an email from Laine:

Hey hows you? I'm really really sorry about not comforting you like a proper friend should - but we couldn't get out of history. Anyways that aint the point. Me n liz were wonderin if you'd like 2 cum over n maybe watch a film n have (we hope) pizza? We havent actually asked yet...but just to let u know cos we still like u ofcourse! yup think bout it..n we'll ask today n maybe we can have a lil chat too or sumthin...yup yup d'ya want me to talk to ya? cos I aint sure...

well c ya soon laine

How guitly and heartless does that make me look?! After all I said?!
But I do have the right to be sooo upset since it did hurt me sooo bad! I don't think I'll ever be the same or okay again!! It hurt that much!!
Heres the email from Liz:

Rachy I really want to make up friends...do you feel betrayed or something? sorry I don't understand you. Well do you wanna be friends again? I promise I will never hurt you oky? Do you wanna come round sometime? Me n laine are gonna ask the folks about thursday, is that oky for you? if you don't wanna come round its fine. Please be friends again? I'm sorry I don't understand you...wish I did so I can help you. And I have felt left out and alone before...in primary school. you prob don't wanna know the story do you! Anyways I see you around n if you want to come round that would be cool so yeh email back soon oky? Sorry for everything!

See yas rachy!
luv lizzz

T_T damn them! Making me feel like ... well .... I DON'T KNOW! They really feel that defenseless which makes me look bad! The state they put me in was unexpectable! I've never had the feeling of just avoiding school completely! Not until something like that hurt sooo bad! ARGH!
I want them to come to my house though!! Damnit! Since I have desent anime to watch!
Speaking of anime! Sumy and Laine are really shit at drawing it! They asked me in R.E if I've been drawing more anime... I said no and they got a bunch of pics they drew. One wasn't even anime! It was Sora from Kingdom Hearts! They had two pictures of anime girls which I've never seen before (I've seen all anime and can recognize the ones I haven't even seen!) and they had a guy from Rurouni Kenshin I wanted to slap my head and just say... never draw anime again! It's sooo fucking disgraceful! We're doing a big art project since we only have like 2 art lessons left before the summer holidays! Only three weeks left! Our project will look sooo bad! The picture Laine drew of Sorata was really shit! I was excepting it to be better than my picture of Subaru because Laine is extremely good at art. But when she showed me I was kinda disappionted... I was mainly shocked though because it didn't impress me! I've drawn a picture of Sorata as well to make up for her crappy one!
I HAVE FOUND THERE WEAKNESS IN THE ART WORLD!
I'm soooo happy! This means I can draw anime for GCSE and it will look really good! SCORE ONE FOR ME!
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Monday, June 20, 2005

   Howl's moving castle!
One good pointer on staying home was... I watched the new Hayao Miyazaki film!!! Me and my sister downloaded it! It was in Japanese with eng subs! IT WAS THE BEST MOVIE I'VE SEEN YET FROM HIM! IT BEAT PRINCESS MONONOKE!!
I must be wanna the first people in the UK to see it! It hasn't even reached over here yet! Not until another year or so! I'm glad I watched it in Japanese. I'm glad I even watched it! IT WAS COOL!! Oh how do I love it so!
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   There is seriously something wrong with me!
I haven't been to school properly since last wednesday! I just can't face school anymore!!
I think I'm suffering from anxiety! I tried sooo hard this morning to get up and go downstairs... I couldn't do it! I just can't face school! Everytime it gets brought up that I should go in, my body just sinks back into itself and I feel like my whole body is sooo relaxed that I can't move! Everything just feels like it has caved in and won't let me do it unless it will all completely collapse! The thought makes everything more and more unbarable!! I can't do it! I can't face school!
I was on the edge of breaking down at school, what with my Nana being in hospital, her not knowing who I am and my mum and dad shouting then having my mum cry in front of me. That pushed me sooo far and I slowly started to recover when my mum's stress had partly been disappearing and my nana now back to her normal self and recovered. But then... my friends just did it! I was slowly getting better and then they just had to go there! They just had to push me far from gone! I hate it! I hate them! I hate life!
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SIMPLE PLAN LYRICS
"Welcome To My Life"

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life


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Sunday, June 19, 2005

Heat wave!
Oh my God! It's soooo hot outside! There is a massive heat wave on and its horrible! The heat isn't dry heat just clammy and sweaty heat. It's disgusting!
I just walked my best mate (my true best mate) home and now I've got back I feel really sweaty and horrible! I want a shower!!
Speaking of pervs in my last post! Remind me never to walk out the house in low cut skater jeans and wearing a halter top that is a belly top as well!! The amount of pervs that are around in hot weather, never ends! While me and Jaz were walking we had a guy in a car looking at us and kept moving to get a better view! On my way back from Jaz's house, I was walking down my old road by my old house and I heard a tapping. I didn't bother to turn around because I knew what it was anyway. Some prick trying to get my attention! My theory was proved right when I heard a wolf whistle and some yelling. I didn't catch what the guy was yelling but frankly... I didn't want to. I kept walking on thinking... oook. I hate fucking main roads!!I had to walk past two main roads to get to my house! Aload of chavs beeped their horns at me! I was horrified! I hate chavs! On the other main road a guy pulled over to ask for "directions" only trying to pick up my phone number! I told him to fuck off and he seemed hurt.
ARGHH!!! When will the torment end?!?!
Actually... I don't mind as such because it makes the girls around me look bad so... whatever! HA! If only Kirsty was walking with me! That would of been class! She's ugly with a mono brow and a achne condition! She's slim but too slim. Dorky slim! Sorta lanky with horrible skin! Not to mention flat chested!!
I mean come on! I know some people are ugly, though they make it up with their sweet personality which makes them attractive! But thats not the case for Kirsty! She's ugly inside and out!
Lets see... a lanky stink with really thin blonde hair and loads of spots or... well me! How to decribe myself? Deep blue eyes, petite, I'm not fat but I'm not really skinny either and well... just the opposite to Kirsty!
Now I know why guys were after me in Germany and the REAL reason why Kirsty went off! Because well... I'M BETTER THAN HER! MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Ugly twat friends! Annoy the shit outta me!

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