Saturday, June 18, 2005

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

It's like 03:05 am but who cares! I WANT TO WATCH MY DESCENDANTS OF DARKNESS! But my bloody sister has deleted the folder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How could she do this to me??!! *cries a massive tsunami*

I don't fucking care if its pasted 3am when I want something... I WANT SOMETHING! IF I WANT TO WATCH DESCENDANTS OF DARKNESS I WILL! DAMNIT!
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww man this is not fair!!!!! No ones online, oh the sadness! Since Jaz is not home and somewhere else I can't have our late night conversations that last until we are too tired to talk! Ever since I blocked and deleted that Shane guy I have no one to talk to. But it's a good thing I did delete him... HE HAD MY PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDN'T EVEN SEND HIM A PICTURE OF ME!!!!!!!!! BUT HE HAD MY PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was sooo freaked out when he changed his msn pic to me! I was like ....... well... Godsmacked! I was soooo freaked! He kept trying my webcam as well... I kept deleting it and said it was broken but he kept insisting! I SWEAR BRITISH GUYS ARE MORE PERVY! THATS IT! I'm moving to Japan forever! I don't wanna be surrounded by pervy guys and chavs anymore!!!
Do you know what that guy kept asking me?! What would you do if I came to your house?
I WOULD FUCKING RUN TO THE OTHERSIDE OF THE WORLD! Or shoot him dead on the spot! I hate it! I really hate it!
Do you see why I try to be different and unpopular?!?! Because if I wasn't I would be felt up more than usual!
NEVER WHERE A THONG TO SCHOOL, EVEN IF YOU HAVE RUN OUTTA PANTS! Do you know how many people have snapped my thong in one day?!!?!? *cringes* I tell you... society is fucked up! People are really fucked up!
You know it could be the fact its like past 3am and probably really tired but I've managed to freak myself out! I KEEP THINK SOMEONES WATCHING ME! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I keep playing the same song over and over again. The song being BitterSweet by Within Temptation. It's a calming song but... I'm still freaked. AHHH I don't like being scared!! I'm going insane! Fucking crazied!
Flashes from previous pervs fill my mind! AHHH DANNY ANSTEY! He lives down the road to me! Though he used to walk past me and say URGH! Now he just walks past me and smells my hair! I'm always like +.O;;
He acts sooo fucking camp! But he's as creepy as the doctor in Descendants of Darkness! Now thats creepy!
Who else is there? *thinks*
Well obviously that pervy guy Shane *shivers furiously*
Oh Stefan is a manager perv! Not in his actions but the way he talks to me! Suggests things! He kept saying to me "I want a hug", in that wanting obsessive way. As me him and Jaz used to hang out, even though it was me and Jaz before always (and is that way currently) he kept saying we should meet up on the weekend. I'm like... I don't know, I might not feel like it. I will never in a thousand endless years want to hang out with him! It worse that everytime he sees me, he drops what he is doing and has to talk to me! I've blocked him online and tried sooo hard to cut him out of my life! It really freaks me out when people are obsessive over someone and won't just leave it!
I'm not that special, HONEST! I don't even know why they always pick on me! Me only tiny T_T !! I think I should put on weight... become really fat! Repulsive! Maybe I should quit having showers! SO PEOPLE WILL STOP SMELLING MY DAMN HAIR! Thats a thing! Everytime someone sees me they hug me! Even random people in school! PEOPLE I DON'T EVEN KNOW! It's ok and all... I do like hugs but I don't think they do it for the same reason I do! I hug people all the time out of insecurity in myself! (I figured that out on my own, oh so proud!)
I can think of many times someone has come up to me and done something weird!
James Robinson... he jumped on me from behind and well you know... I flung him off onto the ground and put my foot on his chest. Sadly, he didn't seemed threatened and felt up my leg instead! Stupid prat!
Cameron fucking licked my neck! I had to sit next to him in the seating plan. I was quietly working (actually drawing anime), he leaned over, I just thought he wanted to copy my work, so I didn't move or anything. But no! He leaned over and licked my neck! I was like "URAGHH!!" I smacked his neck with the back of my hand and he had trouble breathing for awhile. Served him fucking right, dirty wank.
I never wear skirts to school anymore! If I do they have to be more than knee-length! My trousers were in the wash late so I had to wear a skirt. The only skirt I have is a black mini skirt. So I wore that to school. I was standing up the top of the stairs hugging my friends goodbye (we part eachother come lesson time, brings a tear to the eye) and Joe... Cheeky ass Joe!!! Was walking up with a bunch of his yr 10's mates and then he came up behind me and put his hands up my skirt! I was like "WTF?!!?!" ... I turned round and slapped him as hard as I could, since I didn't know who he was! We were going out at the time so I didn't mind as much when I found out it was him. The crap I got from his yr 10 friends though... oh the shame!

Yeah... there are many tales of my pervy stalkers. Don't exactly what to remember anymore!

I hope you are all fucking traumatised! I know I'm fucking scarred for life! I'm suprised I'm not a fucking lesbian! Guys are scum! Apart from the funny ones... oh and quiet ones! Like Will he's quiet and Dan Crossman he's funny. Those guys I like! I always feel uneasy when I hug guys though... I feel like they are gonna do something! Like Stefan for example! He always turns round and says he feels like a hug! He always has to say he wants one from me! I'm like... err no! When I give him a hug he fucking stinks of B.O!! I don't think he uses lynx! I'm really glad he's stopped with the nick names, oh and the phone calling... and the staring in German, though he does it more in Geography now... not to mention texting me every 5 mins! He still likes to demand unwanted hugs, strongly suggest to see me out of school and asking me "what I've been up to"... WHAT HAVE I BEEN UP TO?! I'm hardly gonna say thinking about you am I??!?!?!!!! Well unlike you Stefan... I have a life! It maybe crap but... it's still a life!
The only obsession I could possible have is with Anime!!!!!! Hee hee and anime guys!

The post has gotten extremely long... maybe I should shut up as it's coming to like 4am now... oops!

Do you think I overdid it a litte?
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Can't say much for today really.... I stayed up really late last night (5am), I got distracted and started watching random crap on TV. SUNSET BEACH CAME ON! I was sooo happy! I haven't seen sunset beach in years! I was fucking knackered though! I woke up at like 1pm which is pretty early for me, but still. Ummm *thinks* took a shower... I smell pretty ^^. Oh yeah! I was watching MTV2 and decided to text Sarai asking if she prefers Kirsty over me and her answer depended on whether I come in on Monday or not. She text back this exactly: (Hey) Hey Rach, I prefer u! We decided that if we tell Kirsty wot we think of her n she walks off again then dats it wit us n her! .... the rest isn't important or relivant. But whats that suppose to mean?! I thought they were meant to do that on Friday!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! But when I saw them they were all together! FUCKING LYING BITCHES I TELL YOU!
Ok this is what they dicided, by themselves! I didn't even encourage it! They decided to write down everything that annoys them about her so that she could "change" and if she walked off again they wouldn't talk to her! Kirsty wasn't talking to us at the time when we wrote everything down. Normally when Kirsty walks off, it's for no reason! It's ALWAYS for no reason! Basically she gets in a piss to get attention then walks off making everone feel like crap. Then she just comes crawling back because she has no other fucking friends apart from her fucking phone! She comes back without her reason for walking off in the first place and no apology for abandoning us! So yeah... we wrote the note when she was in a piss, then the next day EVERYONE STARTED TALKING TO HER! What was the point in writing down a fucking note about everything you hate about the hoe then just be her best friend the next day?!!?!?!? It's soooo fucking fake! How the fuck will it make it easier to talk to her?! You'll just upset her! Not that thats a bad thing, since all the fucking shit she's put me through! She deserves the fucking die for all I care!
Ha ha, me and Lara made a new account called I_love_KL95@hotmail.co.uk, the KL stands for Kirsty Lewis meh ha! We made her an imaginary admirer! But its a girl... hee hee! It's only to freak her out since she's a christian and they are against fucking gays and shit!
I hate it when people are prejudice! It really pisses me off! Take gays for example! People say its unnatural and disgusting or whatever, but it's not like they have to be gay themselves! No one forcing them to watch them or be gay so whats the problem?!

I have to put down one of the emails me and Lara wrote, it's shit funny and would freak anyone out! I'm a pro perv!
Kirsty,

Today I used a barbie as a dildo cuz I had no money 2 buy a nu 1 but I had to shave the hair off and it was a cheap barbie so the head fell off and still havin trouble fingerin it out, its hard to pee but the pain is worth it when I think of you. So I hoped 4 us to hav an orggy so u wud jus pop it out, I hoped that u pull it out 4 me wit ur mouth.
I like to play with barbies...

I lke 2 play doctors and I can examin ur pussy by puttin ur hand inside u and feelin around then u can do it 2 me and hopfully get the doll hed out.

u realy turn me on, urs lovingly my lil sex machine,
rebekkah reeves xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The first one we sent was alot more pervy but I don't think I had it saved. The Third email we made is shit funny:

Kirsty,

today sum tramp pissed on my hed bcoz they thought I was a public toilet, I was dressed in the same clothes as u and was wearin my kirsty wig. Do tramps piss on u 2 bcoz of the way u look 2?


p.s i think the tramp was ur mum

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Friday, June 17, 2005

I went into school for only part of lunch and last lesson, which was D.T.
The look I got from Laine... I don't want to ever go to school again!!! That did it for me and just whenever they past me I just didn't want to look at them or even be there! I couldn't take it! Pretty brave of me to even try and attempt facing school today. I'm suprised at myself, even my mum suggested that I shouldn't bother and to go home.
At least I learnt something from myself... I don't run from my fears. Is that good or bad? Perhaps I'm being chased by a man with a gun and I stop to face him! THEN WHAT?! Get shot?! AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Anyway... I talked to Sumy online, I do really hate them all! I feel so betrayed and lied to. I really don't want to face them on Monday! I really can't stand to even look at them! It makes me feel sick to my stomach. All the rage and depression they have put me through for the past 3 days.
They help someone who doesn't have any problems, the only problem Kirsty has is that racoon shoved up her ass! They fucking worry about her and her well-being, but what do I get? I get nothing! When I actually have troubles with my home life and cry like 24/7! They do jack shit! Why can't they handle real problems?! THEY ARE SO SHIT AT COMFORTING! I feel more comforted by a random person who sits next to me on the bus! Really does make me sick!
I supposedly patched things up with Sumy and everyone. Though I'm not quite ready to face any of them. What Cunts... I will get my revenge!
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Thursday, June 16, 2005

I dunno whether I want to go in tomorrow... I don't exactly want to see anyone. I asked my mum and she said it was ok for me to stay home... as long as I clean my room. One reason why I want to go into school is that I have English and I can't fall behind on it. Another is... I just want to see Elina and Jenny, fuck everyone else, I just wanna see the two friends that count. You know Jenny or Elina have never done anything bad to me, never hurt my feelings and I can say what I like around them and have a good time. Unlike being with everyone else, everytime I swear I feel like I'm being judged or something and well frankly... I don't want friends who make me feel bad!
You know... I do really hate all of them and I hate them so much that I want to put them all in a field full of murders! I hate feeling bad at home let alone at school. It gets to me all the fucking time! I hate it!
I'm gonna go in tomorrow and just forget everything, kinda like a forgive and forget thing. But I'm not gonna forgive or forget either one. Nope, as a drama freak I can pretend any emotion and get away with it. Though when my true emotions show through, they REALLY show through. So tomorrow go into English... Sumy will be there just hug her and shit, pretend I'm ok everythings fine and bollocks. This will be my way of getting revenge on them, all of them! I can hold a grugde, for a loooooong time. Basically pretend to be there friends and play along until I find a good oppotunity to ditch them all and make them feel bad. So when a problem in their lifes come up and they turn to me, I'll abandon them! COMPLETELY ABANDON THEM! Ignore them! Like they have done me! See how they like it when they are upset and their friend won't do anything about it! Even if they do tell me their problem, I'll try and make it turn against them, make it look like it's their fault. One day... I will make a good lawyer!

Hmmm... maybe I should go in to spice things up a little, I'm confident that I will NOT be in the one upset at the end of the day! I'm alot stronger than any of them, especially mentally stronger!
I KNOW! Go in pretend I'm their friends come monday shout at them! HA! Good plan get them all thinking. Or I can just turn around to them and say bad things about all of them to their faces!
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   Like I said... I'm not gonna bother coming into school, well... I haven't.
At home in my jammies (pyjama's), not regretting not coming into school today! It's what Lara said to me... I need "me" time. After yesterday, she's probably right!
Online to Sumy yesterday and was pouring my heart out, I put my webcam on to make her feel guitly, since I was crying none stop. I hope it fucking worked, she fucking deserves it the lying little son of a jew follower! (Christianity is picky against other faiths, yet Jesus was a Jew and they follow him, hence Jew follower), she told me to come to liz and laine's tutor so we could sort this out! SOME FUCKING NERVE! THE LAST THING I WANT TO SEE IS A BUNCH OF LESBO TWINS! Not to mention the blonde, nike face (she has a birth mark on her face shaped as a tick, we call her nikey), skinny stream of piss! I hate them all! This has happened to me waaaaaaay too many times before, and they think by just talking everything will be better again! THEY DIDN'T EVEN APOLOGIZE! Like FUCK I'm gonna talk to them again! This has gone waaay to far in the land pain and misery! Great... I'm even more mentally hurt than I was before and they still think by talking to me will make it all better? Fat chance!
This has happened to me before last year! We were on the German trip, it was me, liz, kirsty-titwank and Sarah. Kirsty got in a piss with all of us, like she always does since she's a fucked up little attention seeker! Basically I think she was jealous because all the German guys were coming up to me (since my bikini top was not big enough for my bust). She got jealous because she was flat-chested and wasn't getting chat-up by guys! She still is fucking flat chested anyway thats not the point, so yeah she got pissy walked off and shit. Me and Liz were saying how fed up we were about it all and shit. Then come the last day we had a mini disco (gay I know), Liz refused to dance or do anything fun so I went off with George. Next thing I know... she was friends with Kirsty and was dancing with her! I was sooo angry! Really really really really far from pissed off! I despised both of them soooooooooo much! I couldn't even stand to breath the same air as her! Since me and Liz shared the same room, I refused to go in there! I didn't even want to look at her, let alone breath the same air as her. So I made a big fuss, all the teachers were trying to calm me down but it didn't work! I was yelling at the top of my lungs in Japanese, basically saying "I HATE YOU!" All the teachers looked confused but I didn't care. In the end they got me in the room with liz, no matter how many times I warned them I would do something drastic they still didn't listen. so in he room with liz... was listening to my CD player on full volume to Marilyn Manson. Thought to myself... I could end it all here and now so I won't ever have to deal with her again. I turned the light on, CD player still running (it was on marilyn manson, fight song coincidently), I started pulling out one by one hairs from her head she woke up and said "what are you doing?!" I looked around the room to find something to smash her head in... had my eye's fixed on the metal lamp, though changed my mind to my heavy bag full of pointy things in. I replied "THIS!!" Picked up my bag and started smacking her head repeatedly with it. She totally deserve it! I would do it again anytime! All because she fucking betrayed me! ME TO KIRSTY!
People... if you would be so kind to send whatever to this email address: Kirsty95@hotmail.com
I would seriously love you forever!
Anyone know any good porn sites that you can't get rid off? Send it to her!
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Wednesday, June 15, 2005

I hate them! I really hate them! ALL OF THEM!
I HATE LIZ, LAINE, SUMY, SARAH KIRSTY! I HATE THEM ALL! I HOPE THEY ALL BURN IN HELL!!
Why is it? That EVERYONE expects me to solve all their problems but when it comes down to me! WHAT DO I GET?! Nothing! As fucking usual! They all thought it was because they were talking to Kirsty! WHATEVER! I HAVE A LIFE!
Ok... So in history, I got so upset that they went behind my back and bitched about me, that I couldn't even stand sitting in the same room! I walked out, went to the toilet and even tried to make the attempt of going back in the classroom... but I couldn't! I just couldn't do it! Not without crying! So I just walked straight on and went to the office. Asked them to write a note to my history teacher saying I'll be in the library. So I went to the library and sat down. Finished my picture of Subaru from X, (It's a really good picture... I'll try and get it up only if my scanner works!). That was where I spent the rest of history. Yr 7's bothered me by asking me if I drew that picture... hmmm, pencil in hand drawing on picture... nah it was someone else surely!
WHAT DO I GET FROM SUMY AND LAINE WHEN I SEE THEM?!
Oh Lara wanted to know where you were in History... LARA WANTED TO KNOW?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS!? YOU'RE MY FRIENDS HERE! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU CARING ABOUT ME?
Fuck sake! FUCK SAKE! I fucking hate them all!
I'm not even gonna bother coming to school tomorrow!
FUCK THEM! FUCK THEIR STUPID FRIENDSHIP!
If they want someone who walks all over them (kirsty) to be their friend and ditch me... after all I've done for them! Help with their problems and when they were feeling down... THEN FUCK THE LOT OF THEM!
Stupid gay cunts!
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Sunday, June 12, 2005

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