Sunday, May 22, 2005

I know I know, I've should of at least attempted to make the effort to add to MyO but can you blame me? No of course not!
Friday:
When Laine walked into Science, she firstly went to Sarai and Kirsty looking fine. Then she came over to me and I asked her did she ask about Tuesday, she turned round and said it was a bad time and burst into tears! I was fucking shocked and horrorfied! I've never seen Laine cry before! I immediately hugged her tightly and was saying it's ok I'm here for you. In her condition I knew that the last thing that anyone would want is to be in a class room with people who don't normally talk to you try and sympathize with you. So I took her out of the class room and into the toilets. We didn't plan to stay there that long, but it happened. We started talking until a few more people started coming in and out of the toilet. Realising the toilets aren't the best place for a heart to heart we went outside sat on a wall behind a buncha parked cars. I listened to Laine for a while, until the subject turned onto me. I haven't told anyone whats been going on at home (not even on this), but then I just told Laine everything. The reason I've been crying and having break downs. She is the only one that knows every detail! Even though she can't help in anyway the fact that she's really worried and wants to do her best to help, means soooooooooooooo much to me! When I was talking to her I was trying so hard to hold back the tears, I told her that sometime today that I will start crying. I could feel it. Our Science teacher had sent for a duty teacher since he didn't know where we were and all. Our P.E teacher found us and told him then stupid Mrs Harris found us and had ago at us for being out of lessons and shit. I just felt like kicking her in the shins and running away. But I obviously couldn't! When we got back to our science class, teacher had ago at us as well. Then we both sat down at a table we Jenny and Catherine. I could feel the tears building up so badly that I could hardly hold them back anymore and as the bell went I went up to Laine and burst into tears while hugging her. Maths I sat there silenting fiddling with my calculater until came Geography. Now Geography! Well well well.... what can I say? Miss was having ago at Joe since he refused to move in the seat in front for doing nothing. The only reason she wanted him to move is because she moved him like severly lessons before there and was just telling him to do it again. He obviously refused and was talking back his fair point of view. She was getting pissy and sent him out. After she sent him out I could feel my nose started to run (my cold hasn't completely gone), I asked to get some tissue, she said yes I walked out of the room. Joe was standing outside of the class room, he looked real down about it all. So I touched his shoulder out of comfort and gave him a warm smile. He returned it with the smile he always gives me and no one else ^^!!!! I was so happy! Then came my big walk down the corridor... from watching FashionTv out of boredum while ill, I've picked up how Marilyn Manroe walks down the catwork. So thats exactly what I did down the corridor. I turned the corner down to the other corridor for the toilets. Went in blew my nose got my hair looking perfect as always. Did a little practise walk down the corridor until I turned the corridor and turned the corner to the corridor leading to Joe. Lets skip ahead to the good bit! We were talking about that it was really unfair how she was victimising him etc, he said that he was leaving soon and there was no point anyway. I hugged him out of comfort anyway. I mentioned that I was making him a CD as a going away present. I hugged his side WITH HIS HAND ON MY HIP (who he doesn't hug or do to any other girl but ME!^^) I told him while hugging him that I didn't want him to leave me. I gave him a warm smile as I went back in before miss caught us talking. I was pretty happy when I came in, it really highlighted my day! But my day slowly got better...
come lunch, me, Jenny, Elina, Liz and laine were at a table eating in the dinning hall. I saw Joe and thought that I couldn't pass up a good chance to talk to him. (He had been enternally suspended from lessons, so he wasn't in German). We were talking along with Stefan and Ben. Bethan came into the dinning room and I hugged her hello, started talking to her. Then all four of us, Joe, Me, Beth and Stefan went off. Went to the Library since thats where Joe's bag was and where he was staying in the mean time. I gave them all a briefing into why I was crying so much lately... so yeah... I spent the rest of lunch talking to Bethan.
Skipping ahead to after school.... My usual lift into school was cancelled as my mum had gone to Cardiff to spend time with my Gran. That meant I had to catch the bus, so I caught it with my usual group, (Me, Joe, Bethan and Stefan) we were talking blah blah blah blah.... a group of townies crashed our bus, so we all dropped silent wishing that kinves would fall from the sky onto there heads! But I was in a good mood so I couldn't care a less about whether they were there or not. As I was walking off the bus, one of the townie asses was in the way of the walk way so I said "Excuse me please" brightly (from being in a good mood), Bethan shouted Bye Rachel, then all the townies (who were all men aged between 20-25) started saying stuff like, "yeah, cya Rach" and crap like that. The Ginger guy said "hey Rach" I looked up he blew me a kiss, taking this lightly, looking back and thinking about it is very creepy. I just gave him a confused smile and walked down the stairs. A little girl was looking at me so I just decided to give her a warm smile to add to the way I was feeling. I've never left so happy until recently. Normally I feel like doing nothing but just lie down and cry. But these days I'm just soooooooooooooo happy!!
That was Friday...
Satuday:
Made Joe's CD with assistance from Stefan from online. Had a really cool cover and all! It also has a picture of me on the back blended into the background. It's a really good picture of me when you look at it, very S.E.X.Y ^^. I think he'll really like it. That's what I'm hoping anyway...
I've got a little plan for Joe come Friday. This week will be his last week before he goes. I've planned for when I give him the CD in Music on Friday. I plan to kiss him on the cheek, hee hee. Of course to build up the courage to do so and not back out on the plan, I've got some "special water" to help me loosen up abit. I'll let you know how it goes, cya folks ^^
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