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Thursday, June 16, 2005


I dunno whether I want to go in tomorrow... I don't exactly want to see anyone. I asked my mum and she said it was ok for me to stay home... as long as I clean my room. One reason why I want to go into school is that I have English and I can't fall behind on it. Another is... I just want to see Elina and Jenny, fuck everyone else, I just wanna see the two friends that count. You know Jenny or Elina have never done anything bad to me, never hurt my feelings and I can say what I like around them and have a good time. Unlike being with everyone else, everytime I swear I feel like I'm being judged or something and well frankly... I don't want friends who make me feel bad!
You know... I do really hate all of them and I hate them so much that I want to put them all in a field full of murders! I hate feeling bad at home let alone at school. It gets to me all the fucking time! I hate it!
I'm gonna go in tomorrow and just forget everything, kinda like a forgive and forget thing. But I'm not gonna forgive or forget either one. Nope, as a drama freak I can pretend any emotion and get away with it. Though when my true emotions show through, they REALLY show through. So tomorrow go into English... Sumy will be there just hug her and shit, pretend I'm ok everythings fine and bollocks. This will be my way of getting revenge on them, all of them! I can hold a grugde, for a loooooong time. Basically pretend to be there friends and play along until I find a good oppotunity to ditch them all and make them feel bad. So when a problem in their lifes come up and they turn to me, I'll abandon them! COMPLETELY ABANDON THEM! Ignore them! Like they have done me! See how they like it when they are upset and their friend won't do anything about it! Even if they do tell me their problem, I'll try and make it turn against them, make it look like it's their fault. One day... I will make a good lawyer!

Hmmm... maybe I should go in to spice things up a little, I'm confident that I will NOT be in the one upset at the end of the day! I'm alot stronger than any of them, especially mentally stronger!
I KNOW! Go in pretend I'm their friends come monday shout at them! HA! Good plan get them all thinking. Or I can just turn around to them and say bad things about all of them to their faces!

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