Wednesday, April 26, 2006

10:32 PM- 11:22 PM
I haven't updated in a while. For two reasons:
One, not much has happened... oh wait, that's totally not true. So one reason: I haven't had much time. Every day after school this week, I've had to drive. Then I've had less than an hour to eat before going to driver's ed class.... it's like almost 9 by the time I get back, and I can never think of what I wanna say, so I don't say anything. So yeah. I'm glad Driver's ed will be over soon...

So. Monday. Nothing. Oh wait... I don't remember. Lemme ask Liz real quick...

Nope. Nothing. (then again... she barely remembers it too... whatever)

Tuesday I... um... well, the only thing I can remember is having an awesome conversation with Liz about the awesomeness of life...

But today... Um, all the band and orchestra people left to go to TEXAS for some competition. They'll be back Sunday. That SUCKS! Brian is gone, and most importantly, Chris is gone! (no offense Brian.. but you know..)

And um... At least they'll have fun though. That's good. And David's gone too! That's also good! So... I guess the good and bad kinda cancel each other out. So yeah. That's... whatever. I'm tired.


So um... yeah, not much has happened. ...........




Life is... good? Neutral. Yeah.
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Sunday, April 23, 2006

3:51 AM- 3:5 AM
HOLY SHIT. I've always thought my brother was awesome and smart, but... Well, I'm reading his old journal (with permission, of course) and I just... the things in here are some of the most intelligent arguments I've ever heard about this stuff... and some things I haven't even begun to think about. I want to quote it all so much right now... but it'll have to wait. These thoughts and feelings WILL be heard. But for now... it's late, and I just want to relax. And read more of this stuff.

To sum up: My brother is a fucking genius.
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2:08 AM- 3:00 AM
I have a lot to think about lately... I mean... I can't even begin to describe it. It seems I have thoughts and opinions that are... different than most peoples'. In some ways, I feel more "advanced" than those people, because I can think rationally and emotionally. But I really don't like to think of myself as better than other people, because I know that those kind of thoughts will only cause problems in the future. I realize that I'm prone to go into long discussions or posts about very important issues to humanity... It feels like I have to be wrong about these things, even though I know I'm right. Because other people don't think like I do. Because the "smart" people don't think like I do. I'm not saying I'm smarter than those people; I'm certainly far from it. But I have a different kind of logic. One that a hell of a lot more sense to me.

I don't think people need technology or anything like that because it interferes with other natural processes. Our race can't seem to find a balance with nature; all we seem to do is take more and more.

I was thinking today... So what if what we do is going against nature? Why do I care that other animals and parts of the earth will be wiped out, if we get better? Why do I have such contempt for people messing with a system that is chaotic and violent?

I realized the answer; there are several reasons. First, when we mess with the natural order to gain things, we're not furthering our species; we're instead destroying the planet and bringing our race closer to our own destruction. Second, even though our way of doing things can be non-harmful to everything, that's still messing stuff up. we can see that the weak get destroyed. Their genes are not passed on. If we stopped all the "unnessessary" violence on earth (any time something is killed for reasons other than survival), then our planet would become saturated with weak animals that can't fend for themselves.

The most important way that nature is better than our way is that... well... By the weak being destroyed, what is left is better. Everything is constantly improving, because the weak parts die. The way we do things, the weak humans that can't survive in the wild are protected. We're carrying dead weight. And don't argue that we're "more sophisticated than wild animals" or any of that bullshit; our race is doing worse by the year! We're contaminating the air, land, and water!

If something is killed in the wild, it becomes food or shelter for other plants and animals. Nothing is ever wasted; it's always reused as much as possible. GOD DAMMIT THAT VOICE IS FUCKING CREEPY!

*ahem* what was I saying? Oh yeah. Humans don't reuse things. And I don't mean recycling cans and crap, because those are unnatural anyway.
But like... we just destroy. We give almost nothing back to nature. Oh wait, no. We give almost nothing helpfulback to nature. After all, polluting is certainly giving something back.

As many of us know, it is far too late to stop global warming. If we were smart, we would at least not make it worse. But no one wants to give up cars or any of that shit. If we really wanted to, we could stop all forms of pollution tomorrow. Quite easily, actually. Just... turn everything off. Screw the government. We don't need it. We only need government when we want to live in large groups without conflict. But that's not very realistic. There will always be violence and conflict, because those things are built into us. Thos things are what make us able to weed out the weak parts. But we fight it. We fight it because we think it makes us better to do so.

*sigh* Reality is depressing. When the ice caps are gone, the world is flooded, humans are (hopefully) wiped out (or at least the bad ones)... the world will be better. Because there will be animals left. They will adapt to a warmer earth. And grow. I wish it didn't have to be this way, but it seems the only way for nature to go back to improving is for the humans to destroy themselves.

If I had one wish... it would be to be able to see the future world. To witness the beauty and growth that is to take place after all the human greed and corruption is gone. If I had two wishes... the second would be for all my friends to see that world too.

There's nothing we can do about the problem now; most people are too stubborn and stupid to see anything outside of their own lives. I can't do anything to stop us from killing everything... so I think that I'll spend my life doing what makes me happy. I won't have any regrets then. But at the very least, I think I'll try to make the world a little better for the animals to live in once we're gone. (doing that would make me happy)

Fuck humans. There's no hope of saving us now. It's kinda strange, when you think about it... Some people bring up totally insignificant things that people get pissed about. Boys kissing boys. "Killing" things that aren't technically even alive yet. And people do get angry about those things, instead of things that the other people bring up... things like THE END OF OUR SPECIES. Ah well. If people don't care about their future, why should I? Other animals are cooler anyway.


Oh yeah. Just to end this without being too bitchy. There are some good humans, and I'm sad that they're grouped with the losers. If more people were like Liz and Chris, the world wouldn't be in danger right now. I'm also sad that the good will die with the bad. But at least... at least... ah screw it. I can't think of any human that's made a significant contribution to nature. Thousands have helped society, but that's gonna die anyway. Okay. I'm glad that at least more people than me recognize that our species is a disgusting, corrupt.... doom. Yeah, doom is a good word to describe humans. Or "suicidal" considering that our destruction is our own doing and all.



I really need to keep these things shorter...
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Saturday, April 22, 2006

12:48 AM- 1:46 AM
DOOM!
I haven't posted in like a week... and for some reason that makes me feel horrible. I'm a total myotaku whore totally hopeless.

*ahem*
Anyway... The reason I haven't posted is because I've been on vacation... it is spring break, after all. I went to Chicago with my sister... twas fun, kinda.

I went Monday. Tuesday... wasn't all that good, mostly cause my sis was sick and we stayed in ze apartment all day. Oh wait, no, we went to Ed Debevic's for dinner. It's this kickass restaurant where the waiters are rude to you... it's so fun! But it was made kinda sucky because of my sister's girlfriend. I have no problem with my sister having a girlfriend (I'm bi too, but she doesn't know that) but I happen to hate the one she currently has... I mean, every time they talk alone, I can hear my sister crying... that bitch. Anyway!

Wednesday, I went with my sister to her job... It's.. hard to explain. She works at the college, at this like... I guess it's a room where gays/bis/transexuals can go to like... hang out if they're uncomfortable or something... I don't really even know myself...
But then we went to a park! It was nice...

But Thursday... was a nightmare. I was supposed to catch the train at 7:50. So I was supposed to be at the train station at 7:20. My sister's alarm was being a jerk, and we didn't wake up til 7:20. So I had to go with her to her other job, which was an internship somewhere... I don't want to get into it. So I get on the train. It starts out fine. But we slow down cause of some... problem... and we end up being almost an hour late. I should have been home at about 3:30 or so. I got home instead at like 10. Thursday was a day of lateness.

Friday was a day of suckiness. And lies. Nothing too big, but enough to piss me off... Okay, first, Jani wants to go to fucking WALMART. She knows how much I hate it. She knows how evil it is. And she wanted me to go with her! Then my dad fucking agreed! What the hell happened?! They kept trying to convince me to come with them. I kept saying no. At one point they said that if I at least came, and stayed in the car if I wanted to, we'd go do something I wanted to do. So, knowing that it was Friday, and thus I needed pizza (the only pizza I like being conveniently located a half hour away), I finally agreed. They said no, they wouldn't go that far. After we got in the car. Liars.

They also said that they'd only take 15 or 20 minutes. So, they went in, and left the car on so I could listen to my music... that was nice. Oh wait. They left the air on too. Even though they left the windows open too. So I sat there. I fell asleep. I woke up, and I noticed the CD was ejected. They came back a little while later. Turns out they took a fucking HOUR. And because they left the air on, for no reason, the battery died. Thanks to the kindness of some random people in the parking lot (and the jumper cables in the trunk), we managed to get the car running again.

So, after all these lies and misfortunes, you can bet I was pretty pissed off. I'm not now, but it's still a few more things to add to my "reasons I hate my dad" list. No wait. Maybe "hate" is too strong a word. It's just that I have no respect or tolerance for him and his immature and asshole-ish behavior.

*sigh* whatever. I'm not glad to be back. I wish I was home. I don't like being at my dad's. Tomorrow (technically today) I'm going to my brother's house... as much as I like it over there, it's not home. I just want to relax on break. And hang out with friends. But I can't, because I'm not going to be at my own damn house until Monday afternoon!

At least my friends are having fun... the knowledge that they are is the only thing keeping me not completely miserable right now. (you guys better be having fun!)

I wanna go to bed... but I'm not tired... boo....
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Sunday, April 16, 2006

1:17 AM- 2:43 AM
AAAAAAAAA
LIFE ROCKS!

DUDE! Let me start out by saying I'm on a huge sugarhigh right now... cake and coke... oh man...

*ahem* Okay, it's been like an hour, so I've calmed down... a little. Today rocked. Last night my sister got home, and she's awesome, so that made it good already. But then like... Liz and Cam came over... I was expecting more people, but Brian and Tim couldn't come... we had fun anyway though... lots of fun...

So, they came... And we frosted a Bunny Cake. I think it's funny, actually... That the jewish person loves to make easter bunny cakes, and the fanatical christian hasn't even heard of them.

Then we dyed some eggs... I made a chocobo egg... Chocobo are cool, dude. Then we went out to that play structure thing and just hung out for a while... Then we came back and ate cake. And it was awesome.

Um... what else did I do... Oh yeah, I played Guesstures with my sister and her friends... that was fun. And other stuff. The point is, LIFE IS AWESOME! I would rant about something here... but it's already taken me like an hour and a half to write like 5 paragraphs (curse you incredibly addictive handheld final fantasy!). So I'll wait until tomorrow... I'm gonna go to bed now. Yay.
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Saturday, April 15, 2006

10:19 PM- 12:52 AM
OH MAN! IT WAS SOOOO COOL!

Dude, it was like... the best... I suppose I should start at ze beginning.

So, I went to Tim's house. Liz, Cam, Brian, Erik, and Shelby were there. We talked a lot and played Melee... well, mostly we were pillow fighting while playing Melee, but whatever, the point is that it was mega-super-awesome-funnnnnnnnnn.....

Then we went outside for a long time. We started just like jumping around in the front, then we went to the back and petted ze bunny and Brian and Tim did some flips and stuff. We went to the swings, and I.... swung? swang? oh, Liz says it's "swung"... anyway, so I swung, and it was soooo cool... Except, I kept hitting this giant pine tree with my feet, and I'm surprised I don't smell like pine right now, cause if I swung high enough, roughly half my body would be in the tree.

After a while of that, we just kinda hung around in the driveway, playing basketball, playing basketball with Cam's shoes, getting attacked, screaming and flinching, playing football, various other things... being sat on....

So we went inside, had various beverages and chocolate things, and just talked while Brian and Tim played some more Melee... It was really fun. All of it. Then I sat and drifted between listening to Liz and Erik's convo, to listening to Cam and Shelby, and to watching Brian and Tim throw items at each other.

It may not sound like much to some of you... But it was fun. It was... It's beyond words. Oh yeah. There was a STICK! There's always a stick! Madness! Madness, I say!

*contented sigh* Life is....








Life is fucking awesome.
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Thursday, April 13, 2006

8:50 PM-9:15 PM
SPRING BREAK! YEAH!

Now I have a week of no school! Yayyyyy!

*ahem* Anyway...

Today was awesome. Chris, Brian, Cam, and Tim came over after school. We played Melee for a little while, but there was only four controllers and five people, so we just made a rule of "loser gives up their controller." Naturally, I gave up my controller to Chris after every round I played. And she ended up giving it back every time too, probably because she kept... running off the edge... by accident... I dunno.

Anyway, then we went outside for a while, and started to follow some little kids... But when we got to this one street, we didn't see em anywhere. And it was about 15 minutes before they had to go, so we headed back and just hung out in the basement for a while. Then Brian and Tim left, and Cam like two minutes later, and then Chris a few minutes after that....

So I went out to dinner, and blah blah boring stuff...

And now I am here. Life is good. I wish Liz could have been there, but alas, she could not.

Well, actually, the whole reason I was even doing it was so she could go to Friday movie night, cause she wasn't allowed to attend the next thing she was invited to, so I had people over so she would miss that and not tomorrow, so yeah. Hopefully everyone will be able to come on Saturday... well, except Chris, cause she'll be away doing stuff.

I don't know what to say now, so I'm just going to... end this... yeah...
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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

10:30 PM-10:45 PM
Wow. I haven't gone this long without updating in quite a while. But then again... nothing really happened yesterday. I really don't have much to talk about here...

Plans for stuff... I have those. On Thursday I'm going out to dinner, then grocery shopping, then having people over. Liz can't come, cause of Seder, but she wouldn't have been able to come anyway. And Brian and Cam are going with her, so they're out too. That leaves Chris, Tim, and Erik. An odd combination, but it won't matter since we'll probably just be playing Melee or Bomberman 64.

Something scared me today. David, to be exact. See, this whole drifting away from him thing? It's not going quite as well as I had hoped. I went to the counselor about him a week or two ago; he mentioned something about counseling because someone said he had suicidal thoughts, and that it wasn't true. He's a fucking liar, I can tell you that. I told him that he had been talking about ending his life for weeks. He said it was just to get attention. No shit, Sherlock. Almost everything he does is just to get attention.

But... well, a few days ago, he said something like, "If the world ended tomorrow, you'd go to hell." Yeah, real nice guy, huh? He's started absorbing himself in Christianity... most likely because everything in his life sucks, and "he needs something to believe in." If I needed to believe in something, which I really don't, I'd at least pick a religion that wasn't total bullshit like Christianity. I'm not trying to offend anyone here, I just think that the christian views and whatnot not only suck, but make no sense. Not all are against gays and abortion. Just most of them. Not all of them believe in all of that Adam and Eve stuff. Just most of them. I'm not going to rant about evolution here; go read Liz's xanga if that's what you're looking for.

The main thing that is scaring me about his sudden faith and stuff is that he's totally intolerant. He won't let me be atheist. He keeps trying to convert me. I told him to stop, and he said he wasn't trying to. So I quoted him, when he said he wanted me to see his play, because it might make me, "change my mind." So he said maybe it would. Thereby proving that he's trying to make me a blind follower.

Guess what? Most likely, there was no Jesus Christ! There is so much evidence against it that it's better for the Christians to just say there wasn't and that his stories are symbolic, cause they're otherwise embarassing themselves. You want proof? Go to the Over Clocked Remix forums. There's a thread titled "Did Jesus ever really exist?", and everything is there. I'm just going to quote one little thing right here.

"The reason why all these narratives are so similar, with a godman who is crucified and resurrected, who does miracles and has 12 disciples, is that these stories were based on the movements of the sun through the heavens, an astrotheological development that can be found throughout the planet because the sun and the 12 zodiac signs can be observed around the globe. In other words, Jesus Christ and all the others upon whom this character is predicated are personifications of the sun, and the Gospel fable is merely a rehash of a mythological formula (the "Mythos," as mentioned above) revolving around the movements of the sun through the heavens.
For instance, many of the world's crucified godmen have their traditional birthday on December 25th. This is because the ancients recognized that (from an earthcentric perspective) the sun makes an annual descent southward until December 21st or 22nd, the winter solstice, when it stops moving southerly for three days and then starts to move northward again. During this time, the ancients declared that "God's sun" had "died" for three days and was "born again" on December 25th. The ancients realized quite abundantly that they needed the sun to return every day and that they would be in big trouble if the sun continued to move southward and did not stop and reverse its direction. Thus, these many different cultures celebrated the "sun of God's" birthday on December 25th. The following are the characteristics of the "sun of God":

The sun "dies" for three days on December 22nd, the winter solstice, when it stops in its movement south, to be born again or resurrected on December 25th, when it resumes its movement north.
In some areas, the calendar originally began in the constellation of Virgo, and the sun would therefore be "born of a Virgin."
The sun is the "Light of the World."
The sun "cometh on clouds, and every eye shall see him."
The sun rising in the morning is the "Savior of mankind."
The sun wears a corona, "crown of thorns" or halo.
The sun "walks on water."
The sun's "followers," "helpers" or "disciples" are the 12 months and the 12 signs of the zodiac or constellations, through which the sun must pass.
The sun at 12 noon is in the house or temple of the "Most High"; thus, "he" begins "his Father's work" at "age" 12.
The sun enters into each sign of the zodiac at 30°; hence, the "Sun of God" begins his ministry at "age" 30.
The sun is hung on a cross or "crucified," which represents its passing through the equinoxes, the vernal equinox being Easter, at which time it is then resurrected."

And that's not even half of it. So yeah. I'm gonna... go to bed. No one's on, so there's no point in staying up. Goodnight, computer.
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Sunday, April 9, 2006

12:12 AM- 2:03 AM
Well... I've had quite a good day today.

I woke up. Did the usual stuff. Then I cleaned the basement as best I could while frantically trying to make arrangements for people to come over... And they did! Yayyyyy...

Liz couldn't come, as a result of way too much homework as a result of missing school. I knew Chris was coming last night. I called Brian, he said he'd call back, I waited like 2 hours, called again, and he was like showering or something. So I called Cam and he could come, despite the 15 minute notice, and Brian called, and he was coming... So I quickly tried to finish cleaning, and did a kind of good job.

Then Cam came, and was for some reason convinced that everyone else was already there, and hiding... Which they weren't. So we played the original Super Smash Bros., and I kicked his butt, so I thought I had improved more than I actually had. Turns out he just sucks as Ness in the original. ^_^; He totally killed me the rest of the time. Then Chris came. Yay. Then Brian came, and he brought Tim. We played Super Smash for a while. Then we went outside!

We walked to a play structure and swung on the swings and hung out for a few minutes. Then we began playing tag, and I think it lasted like an hour. Especially since no one seemed to be able to tag anyone else... except me, cause I would get tired and stop. But they never caught me because of that. Every time I stopped, I turned around and whoever was chasing me had found new prey. It was fun when I chased Chris for like 5 minutes though... I was totally wiped out for a while after that. And I don't think I even got her, either. Huh.

But then some small children came, so we stopped playing tag. Um... Brian, Tim, and Cam were like... wrestling, or something... twas odd. I just kinda... sat and watched. Then we left and walked back here, played some Bomberman 64, then some Super Smash, and before I realized it everyone was gone. Chris left first, then Cam, then Brian and Tim... one of them left an uneaten cookie on the table. That bugs me, and I don't really know why.


So... As you might be able to tell by the time posted at the top of this, I am very easily distracted by things... I'm gonna go... do.. stuff...


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Saturday, April 8, 2006

11:17 AM- 11:25 AM
Oh man, it was so awesome...
Last night I went to Brian's house, and Liz, Chris, Cam, and Erik were there. We kinda just fooled around in the backyard for like an hour, despite the hand-numbing temperature. Then we went to some... thing next door... It had a basketball court, and they half played a game while I um... sat. Even though I was technically on Brian and Erik's team. ^_^;

So then we went inside and had hot chocolate and played some game thing and talked and stuff... It was fun. Then everyone but Brian helped Liz pin down Erik and steal his socks. Yay!

Wow... It seems like we did more... huh.

Tom: *holding big stick*
Cam (I think): He looks like Gandalf!
Others: He does! Except the stick isn't curled...
Tom: ...?

Erik: I'm gonna bear hug attack you!
Tom: No! Go bear hug attack... Cam!
Cam: What? No! *fights off Erik with sticks**runs away*
Tom: ...
Cam: Bear hug attack! *jumps on Brian's back*
Liz: *to Chris* Did you just see that?!


heheh.... fun stuff...
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