Wednesday, March 29, 2006

9:37 PM- 10:12 PM
So... My day has been odd. We have this schedule thing where we don't have to go to school til 3rd hour, cause of some test thing. The MEAPs. If you don't know what that is... you're lucky. And you don't live in Michigan.

Anyway, I really don't even remember most of today. Just gym class. Which I hated. We're currently playing some lame ass game called "speedball". It's basically soccer, except you can throw the ball. If you catch it, you can take two steps maximum. And you can't pick it up off the ground. Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with this game. Except that no one really plays by the rules.

Somehow, every day, all the cheaters and showoffs have ended up on the same team. Except yesterday, when I had the stupid imp AJ on my team, who always tried to throw it in the goal, and has never passed to anyone in any sport intentionally. Also, he thinks he's popular. But that's another story entirely.

Anyway, today, every single cheater, showoff, and general asshole ended up on one team. We had a sub, and he was on our team, and he kinda cheated, but we didn't care cause he was kickass and actually wrestled the ball out of some kid's hands. (YAY)

But the other team cheated the whole time. They picked the ball up from the floor at least 10 times. They touched (molested) like everyone. Shoved people out of the way. They moved our freaking net. THEY MOVED THE NET. And then, when we yelled at them for cheating, they decided to respond by saying such things as "your mom" and "no you're cheating". TRULY intelligent people. In fact, here's a conversation I had with someone on their team:

Me: Dude, your entire team is cheating! What's wrong with you?!
Ass: *says something incoherent*
Me: ...and you smell horrible.
Ass: Yeah, that's what your mom said! OHHHHHH!.....wait... no, I mean, I said to her and...
Me: *walks away, shaking head*

I called one guy a moron in the locker room. He said something like, "yeah well at least I'm passing the class! OHHHH!"

"Dude, it's EFFORT! Of course you're passing, you idiot!"
"OHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Within a minute, all the freshmen in the locker room that were on that team were screaming "OHHH" at me. I hate them so much. I know it's just a game, but the fact stands that pretty much everyone on their team is an ass. It's just... they're stupid.

Anyway, I was kinda irritable after that. I tried to install Firefox on my compy, but umm.... the benefits kinda equal the losses. It looks better and everything, but it... Everything opens in Quicktime. I hate Quicktime. If I want to do something while listening to music, I always have to right click and say "open in new window" which is just stupid. And I've always got like five windows open anyway. And it doesn't loop. I can't just let music play over and over like I like it to (if it's a good song, of course). I have to go and click play again. It just takes away from the goodness of the music. Oh, and it wouldn't play the music on people's myotakus. When I tried to install the thing that would let it, it said that it couldn't install it. Wonderful.

And I was pissed cause of other stuff... I'd been confused and stuff since I got home, and because of that I couldn't figure out if people were hinting at things... Well, I can't anyway, due to my intense paranoia, but it was just worse. Whatever. Oh, and I had a headache.

I went out to dinner. The food wasn't very good. The atmosphere was like an unholy fusion of Chuck E Cheese (or however you spell it) and a 50's diner. Blech. So, I didn't feel any better til Liz told me about this thing... I went and saw headlines from the Tonight Show online. After about 10 minutes of laughing my ass off, I felt much better....

And nothing has really happened since. Oh, unless you count seeing the Legend of Vernon movies. Hilarious. (Live action parody of Legend of Zelda- Google it)

So yeah. Whatever. I'm bored.
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Tuesday, March 28, 2006

9:03 PM- 9:06 PM
Okay. I'm apologizing again, but this time for something different. Sorry I said To Kill a Mockingbird sucks. It's actually a great book. I just for some reason remember not liking it... I think it was cause when I read it, I hated the people around me. And the books I read around that time were actually better than it. Mark Twain books are good, and stuff.

So yeah. I stand by my opinion of "Of Mice and Men" though. But hey, who knows. Maybe I'll look back in a couple years and realize that I didn't like it because I hated everyone in my lit/comp class except one person. I also hated the teacher. So yeah. I don't really have anything interesting to report, soooooo....

Yeah.
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Sunday, March 26, 2006

10:23 PM- 11:00 PM
Well... Things were awkward for a while there...

But then everything was finally almost back to normal! And that was nice...

But now, it feels awkward again. This is just... I have no idea what's going on here. I don't know! I'm so confused.

I know this is going to sound selfish, but I just want to put this out here: Lately, it seems like I'm being attacked and yelled at for things that I've done unintentionally. Things I've apologized and tried to make up for. I just... I don't know.

I probably seem completely emo to everyone now. I go from being angry to apologetic to happy, and now i'm back to sad...

No. I'm not emo. The reason I'm like this is that I'm paranoid. I'm paranoid that I might lose my friends, even though there's no reason I would... It might come from the fact that nothing in my life that's good has lasted... My cat, Caspur, died... My next cat, Soks, ran away... One of my two cats, Penny, had problems with using the litter, so she was taken back to the Humane Society. I still have her brother, at least. But there are other things. I don't want to get into that right now.

And now, things aren't as awkward. I've been talking with Liz while writing this. The awkwardness is gone.

Now, I have a purpose. Liz, you know what I'm talking about. I'll leave the rest of you to figure it out on your own. Or not. I don't care. But I'm determined now. I will help. No matter how much I have to sacrifice.

...Goodnight.
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2:25 PM- 2:29 PM
I am an idiot. So now, cause of our argument about book thing, Liz is all... I dunno. But like... I know I made a big deal out of nothing, and that we were just talking about a freaking book.
But it seemed like more. Because she was... well, it felt like she started attacking me personally, even if she didn't mean to.
So yeah... I'm still sorry that I swore at you Liz, and I'm also sorry that I freak out and post about how sorry I am whenever we have arguments like that...
I don't even remember writing half of that stuff. It sickens me. >_<

Agh. I can't think of anything else. I'm gonna go... waste the rest of my day again...
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3:07 AM- 3:13 AM
So, I've been talking to Chris.

It's helped.

And I know that Liz is going to get "mildly annoyed" at this post. Because she thinks I talk about Chris too much. Then again, I did just write like 5 posts about Liz, so yeah.

Anyway. So talking to Chris really helps with these things. She listens, and understands, and stuff. And she doesn't get involved or take sides. That's awesome. Because she lets people work out whatever they're fighting over. And I don't know about other people, but talking to her about things not only makes me feel better, but it helps me regain perspective, and figure out what I'm going to do about it.

Thank you Chris. And if I ever try to get you involved in a personal fight, ever...

Slap me. Sign off. Do whatever it takes. Stay neutral. That's one of the many reasons that you're awesome. So keep it up.

And thanks.
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You know, to everyone but Liz who reads this, I probably seem like a pansy. But I'm not. Nor am I "emo".

My friends just happen to mean the world to me. I love them. For those of you that don't know how I can love someone and not be in a relationship with them, that don't understand how I'm not gay even though I love my male friends (Scratch that, I'm bisexual), well.....



You guys are idiots. No offense.
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Saturday, March 25, 2006

SORRY! I keep thinking of other things to say now. But I know I didn't handle that well, Liz. I'm SORRY. I can't handle my anger. I'm not the kind of person who would kill someone, but I'm prone to lose control of what I say. And I know that's no excuse. I'm truly, deeply, from the bottom of my heart sorry.
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Liz, I'm still sorry. I love you, in the same way I love all my friends. I'm so sorry.
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EDIT: Okay, I don't think anyone is really going to read these posts again... but I'm writing this anyway. I really want to delete these things, but I'm not gonna... I want these here as a reminder of how totally irrational and stupid I can be, overreacting and whatnot. A lot of it comes from my paranoia. Among other things... anyway, just as another warning, this post and the few following it are totally freaking... sickening... just so you know...


How nice. I had a disagreement with Liz over something COMPLETELY trivial. I don't like "Of Mice and Men."

Apparently, because of that, I'm not deep. Everything is black and white, and I play too many videogames. I tried to make some points. But she wouldn't stop interupting, so they didn't sound like points.

She wouldn't listen. And considering that swearing seemed to be my only way of getting her attention, I asked her to "Shut the fuck up and listen please". And she signed off. What a dashing rebuttal. I'm sorry I swore at you Liz, but you wouldn't listen. But that's no excuse.

This is stupid. Just because I don't like one book that you do, does not mean I'm not deep. It does not mean that I think everything is black and white. Alright?

I'm SORRY. I just hope that you read this. But I'm sure you will. You're not the type of person to let something so stupid ruin a friendship. Nor am I.





Sorry Liz.
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8:08 PM- 10:57 PM
Meh. I feel... Odd. I don't like... Stuff. I dunno. I just feel really out of it. Like I'm half asleep. Agghhh....

You know that feeling you get, when you're waiting all day for something to happen, and it never does? Well, that's kinda how I feel now.

Yeah. I'm watching Princess Mononoke on Toonami. I heard the dub was actually pretty good. It's not that bad. They could have probly picked better voices, but it's nowhere near as bad as some other things I've seen.

*coughnarutocoughonepiececough*

So far, the only really annoying thing is the REALLY awkward placement of commercials. Like, they'll start to fade in the middle of a sentence. But whatever. It's not too bad. And I would know; I've seen it subtitled.

Oh. I forgot I had this open. It's been like three hours. Ooops. ^_^;

So yeah. I can't think of anything else to say.
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