Sunday, April 2, 2006

11:17 PM- 11:40 PM
I should be in bed now, but I don't care. I need to say this now, while the subject is still fresh in my memory.

There are people out there who don't like to argue. I understand that. I respect that you don't want people to fight and be angry all the time.

But sometimes, people have to argue. There's no way around it. There's a difference of opinion that needs to be settled. And you know what? It doesn't have to end in anger or sadness or anything. It doesn't have to be a fight.

Now let's say that you disagree with your friend on a matter. Were it me, I would try and explain my point of view, and try to listen to theirs to figure out where they're coming from on this. I would then elaborate, trying to come up with legitimate rebuttals for their statements.

But some other people don't want to argue at all. As soon as conflict is present, no matter how small, they try and get out of it. For some, they will simply not state thier opinion on the matter or argue it. Others prefer to just tell you to "stop arguing". I can't stand that.

I'm trying to explain myself to you, trying to tell you why I feel the way I do. There are some things I need to say. You can't expect everyone to just stop because you tell them too. Telling them to stop doesn't do a damn thing. You may be trying to make it so that the argument doesn't end with everyone pissed off and nothing accomplished.

When you tell me to stop arguing, the only thing it accomplishes is ending the argument with one person pissed off.

Instead of interrupting, protesting, or leaving, or whatever, maybe there's a way to solve these things.

If you haven't quite figured it out by now, Liz, this is mainly directed at you. I'm not angry, I know that this is the way you are. But please, just listen to what I have to say.

You don't have to agree, or "wait" until I'm done with what I'm saying. And this isn't just Liz, really; I'm talking to anyone who tries in vain to avoid arguments that are harmless in the first place.

Why don't you just acknowledge people? It's the equivalent of nodding and smiling. Just listen to what people have to say. Then, say what you want. Hopefully, the other person will be courteous enough to let you get your point across as well. That way, even if both people still disagree, they don't come away from it pissed off that they didn't get to say what they wanted.

And who knows? Maybe you'll learn something during that discussion. Maybe not. But you can't just keep avoiding everything... it's better to just get it over with, and get it behind you. Then it won't be on your mind forever.

And, going back to a specific person, Liz. You know for a fact that not all disagreements turn out like arguments! You said yourself that you were able to talk about religion with Cam. Something that you said you could have very easily been arguing about. But he was being reasonable about it. I try to be. I try to let you speak, and get your point across. But it's hard, when you won't acknowledge anything I have to say. Please, please, just....


Listen.
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