Sunday, July 23, 2006

8:24 PM - 8:53 PM
First of all, sorry for being a bitch yesterday on here. I was bored and in a bad mood when I wrote it, and I suppose that I was just looking for something to complain about. I did have fun. It was... weird, but fun (still don't like the fancy shit, but whatever).

Anyway. Something new. I got FFVII Advent Children today. I'll probably watch it tomorrow. Or something.

I also got a new CD player and a new CD case. My CDs are organized for the first time in like 6 months... it's nice.


I also went to a party of sorts at my grandma's house, for Matt and Chrissy. Since they're moving to Chicago and all.

There was an... incident there. My grandma (not the one that was hosting) had a... stroke type thing. I don't know much, just that she was spaced out and they tried to talk to her, and that she threw up and stuff... They called 911, an ambulance came and some people tended to her. And stuff.

I was out on the deck talking and stuff while this was happening... I actually had fun at the place. Talking to relatives and such. To me, the grandma incident wasn't really a big deal, since she was okay enough that they didn't rush her back to the hospital or anything.

But my mom is really worried about her and stuff. She... wants her to move in with us. This is NOT happening. It would change nothing other than a) if something happened, there would be a faster response since she wouldnt' be living alone, and b) the morale of a certain teenager would drop to a new low. I cannot fucking put up with her. When she comes over on occasion to spend the night, she spends the whole damn time watching CNN and golf and swearing. Doesn't matter which one she's watching, if she sees something that she doesn't like she'll yell "oh, fuck you!!!"

It wouldn't work. Sure, I'd finally have the basement to myself 24/7, but this isn't the way that I wanted to get it. The ends do not justify the means. There's nothing in it for me, or my mom. Another mouth to feed. We've had a pretty tight budget recently as it is. If she comes, all three of us are miserable.

I don't admire my mom for her selfless thinking. Emotions should not cloud one's judgement. I try hard to apply logic to situations, and not let my emotions interfere, and it barely works. My mom can't think logically at all. She's so blinded by her feelings that she can't freaking think.

Not only is she getting too emotional about it, but she's also had too much to drink. I'm not going to listen to a word or reason she has for me, as long as she's like this. I might listen tomorrow.

I don't know how my grandma feels about this. I know that if I were in her position, that I'd probably ask someone to kill me. The way I see it, there's no point in living if you can't take care of yourself.

Putting her in a retirement home is not an option. She has no money. Unlike my great-grandma, who saved up her whole life. No, my grandma just... spends. Everything. She buys a lot of shit that she doesn't need.

Letting her live with other siblings is an option, or at least I think so. My mom is completely against it, because "Uncle Bob is belligerent, Aunt Fran is mean, and Uncle Russ has cancer."

My thoughts:
Bob-- Okay, I can see how that would be a problem. I've never really liked him anyway. Plus he lives in Chicago.
Fran-- To be honest, I keep forgetting that I have an aunt Fran. I've barely seen her my whole life, so I really can't have an opinion.
Russ-- So what if he has cancer? He's recovering. He's been through chemo, and his hair is growing back so it looks like he's done with it. They have money to spare, I'm sure. And I think a few extra bedrooms. Of course he has extra money/space, he lives in a fricking rich neighborhood and belongs to the flippin' yacht club!

But my mom will have none of it. I'll see how she feels tomorrow, when she's not so... tipsy. It seems that her getting drunk to drown her problems is becoming more common every day. Oh well.


Last thing: You do not have an obligation to your parents just because they're your parents! That makes no fucking sense. My grandma was an extremely shitty mom. She didn't care about my mom when she was growing up. She didnt' care about her grades, or where she was, or anything. She sounds like a bitch to me.

I'm not saying you should never help your parents, but don't think you owe them anything if they were abusive, uncaring, bitchy, or just plain mean-spirited to you. If they were assholes, you don't owe them a damn penny.

Well, that's my rant for the day. I'll probably see the errors and correct them and/or apologize for something I said that I didn't think would sound mean tomorrow. Whatever. I'm hungry... I should go get a sammich or something.
Comments (2)