Tuesday, February 3, 2004

...no catharsis

I fell asleep in Bio today... which didn't matter much cause we were watching some video on Rinos...
I had a weird dream, I don't remember all of it but I think Sera hated me or something in it... *sigh* I kinda freaked out when I woke up... mainly cause I was all "OH GOD! How long was I asleep?!"
I tried to ignore my dream.

XTC - Dear God
Dear god, hope you get the letter and...
I pray you can make it better down here
I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer
But all the people that you made in your image
See them starving in the street
'Cause they don't get enough to eat from god
I can't believe in you

Dear god, sorry to disturb you but...
I feel that I should be heard loud and clear
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears
And all the people that you made in your image
See them fighting in the street
'Cause they can't make opinions meet about god
I can't believe in you

Did you make disease and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you?
And the devil too!

Dear god don't know if you noticed but...
Your name is on a lot of quotes in this book
And us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look
And all the people that you made in your image
still believing that junk is true
Well I know it ain't, and so do you
Dear god
I can't believe in
I don't believe in
I won't believe in heaven or hell
No saints, no sinners, no devil as well
No pearly gates, no thorny crown
You're always letting us humans down
The wars you bring, the babes you drown
Those lost at sea and never found
And it's the same the whole world 'round
The hurt I see helps to compound
That father, son and holy ghost
Is just somebody's unholy hoax
And if you're up there you'll perceive
That my heart's here upon my sleeve
If there's one thing I don't believe in

It's you
Dear god

Oh and incase anyone's wondering about the subject title of this post; I'm trying to find a catharsis. Meaning I know I need to cry, I can feel tears, they just won't come. Yes, this is the real Monique here.
I guess I'm just so exhusted I'm willing to let any sort of emotion run loose and well, crying seems to be the dominant thing of wanting to get out.
Now I need my fucking catharsis!

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