Wednesday, July 5, 2006

   im so tired of my episodes.

well ive been at my aunts since monday, i came over with my cousins and her mother. we came over for teh 4th, well we were suppossed to go home today but they changed their mind, well i was slighty pissed bc i wanted to go to church, and i couldnt find noone to take me to meet my dad half way so i had stay another night, and miss church. well these last couple of days ive felt like i really needed to go. ive been depressed lately, and a women from church talked to me sunday and it got me thinking, so i really wanted to go tonight and talk one of my youth leaders. but neways. i just started crying for no reason whatsoever adn i couldnt stop. i just stayed in the bath room adn cried for forever it seemed. i had my dad worried adn he was ready to come all the way over and get me. but i told him not to. well my aunt came in the bedroom, (i had finally settled down a lil) adn asked me what was wrong. *everyone thought i was flipping out about not being home, and that wasnt the case* well i told her that i didnt know what was up. she told me it might be my blood pressure medicine, cuz she went through this sort of thing with hers, i just agreed with her, but i dont think it is the medicine, i really want to go to a therapist, cuz i think im going crazy. ive had these "episodes" for awhile, i go through phases ill be happy, then sad, and then at random times ill just start crying. i just have a feeling its more than my medicine. when i told my dad i think i needed to see a therapist he said, he said that he doesnt think that was teh problem. i dunno im just so tired of it, im still gonna try to see one. but anyways after i got through talking to my aunt i went into my lil cousins room and slept for about an hour i felt a lil better but im still depressed, adn now im all tired and drowsy feeling. gosh yall just keep me in yalls prayers, i have no idea who im talking to cuz noone ever reads my journal, but oh well. l8rz!

Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, June 29, 2006

   im back

i havent written since i got back from florida, one im lazy! lol, ive been back since saturday, yep yep, i had fun in florida but i was so happy to be home. yep yep, my first time at the beach, much fun!! i got burned, but now im alright, i actually got some color, i know a big shocker!! lol me and amber got crabs in florida! lol hermit crabs, that is. lol amber caught 3 in the ocean, but 2 of the 3 died, my pierre died! but the crab i got from the store, jock, is still alive. on the way home we broke down on the side of the interstate, and amber had to jump the fence to get to a freightliner place, to call a tow truck! MUCH FUNNINESS!! lol we messed with her about "jumping the fence" lol. yeah but since ive been back aint much been going on, ive been doing alot for church, thats about it. dang skeeters are driving me crazy! but other than that i guess everything is okay, ive been depressed lately. but i guess ill be okay, hopefully any . well i g2g l8rz!

Comments (0) | Permalink

Saturday, June 17, 2006

   im going to florida

yeah i figured i would make a post tonight just in case i didnt have time tommorrow, and i wanted to make one before i went to florida. yeah im leaving sun. the 18th and prolly coming back on friday or saturday. yep yep! yall wish me luck with the whole me not getting burned to a crisp and that i wont blind noone with my white legs! LOL well aint much going on, except for the diet pills im on i think is making me bitchy but its all good. im still depressed, i hate it, yeah.. my parents and everyone keeps asking me whats wrong. and i dont know what to tell them, but i swear if one more person asks me that, they may get strangled!!!! yeah man.. grrrrrr if your not in a good mood, and dont want to talk about, then getting asked whats wrong dont help matters a dang bit! lol well i really dont know what else to post. so i guess ill talk to everyone when i get back from florida! l8rz my ppl!

Comments (1) | Permalink

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

   I HATE THIS

well wher do i begin.... well i guess i should first warn kiwi, excel,a nd mantha that there might be cussing, so yeah yall are warned, and trust me i have my reasons this post! the basturd already fucked me over! in 3 days, how is that even humanly possible? huh? cuz im confused about it! I HATE GUYS(except for a select few) but most i just wish would drop dead! how can they be so careless? okay for those who dont know here is the cliff note recap of me and will!! we went out, he broke up with me by giving me the silent treatment, last week he started talking to me again, apolojizing to me, and i gave him a second chance. we met at farmfest, kissed, blah blah, well today 4 DAYs LATER!! he wrote this damn public post, about how he loved me but he loves this chick kelly more, and how he really didnt want the second chance with me, because he wanted kelly!! wtf? once again not enough balls to break up with me to my face!!! FUCK HIM!! how could he? how in the.. just how could he? he got me liking him again, and then he screws me over again, OH DID I MENTION HE TOLD ME HE LOVED ME! now wtf is that about? that freaks me out neways, and now ppl wonder why? stupid ass basturds say that when they dont really mean it, and just throw it around, and whats left? after the bastuds fuck you over? nothing but meaningless words! yeah stupid hurtful empty words. i swear im gonna go into a freaking mental breakdown! im gonna go before i just totally go crazy!

Comments (2) | Permalink

Monday, June 12, 2006

   blah

well i figured it was time for another post. so lets see. what to write about... hmmmmm....well i got put on diet pills today! dang those things made me wired, i no likey! but hopefully they will help and i will get used to them! lol well i found out today that i have been mad at a very close friend of the family for one stupid misunderstanding. i felt really bad about it, i cried alot today cuz of it! but now it is all resolved. and im glad. i feel so bad about it, it aint even funny. but like i said its over thats all that matters! well thats about it for now! ill guess ill go! l8rz! oh yeah im kinda worried about something that i prolly shouldnt be, but i am. so yall just pray for me to get through it and realize that its prolly just stupid!

Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, June 9, 2006

   farmfest/willybob

yesh well me and the kat went to farm fest!!! we rode the rides of doom!!!! yes yes.. i got hooked back up with the will! yes i know.. lol but we have worked things out! and hopefully this will turn out better!!!! we had our first kiss tonight! ^_^ yes he kept laughing at me cuz i kept getting embarrassed!!!! and i blushed! Lol i stole his awesome bracelet OF DOOM!! yes yes!!! well like i said i just hoped we can make it work this time! really hope!!! and i know now what kiwi and excel always joke about the tasting thing! LMAO!!!!!! XD!!! neways ill talk to ya l8r!!

Comments (1) | Permalink

Wednesday, June 7, 2006

PRESS IT!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEE

Get your own games at arcadecabin.com

Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, June 6, 2006

Boy: wud up shotay Girl: I have to tell you something... Boy: What? Girl: I really like you. And I... I think I'm falling in love with you. Boy: Ok... Girl: What do you mean "ok"? Boy: I don't like you like that... Girl: Why not? Boy: I can't tell you... maybe another time... From then on, the girl kept asking the boy "Why not?" whenever she saw him, and he kept answering the same answer of "I'll tell you later." Finally the girl got fed up. Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why you don't like me! Boy: Do you really wanna know why? Girl: Yes! Boy: It's because you're ugly as fuck! What's the point of going out with someone when they're not pretty?! Girl: But... I... Boy: Just shut up and leave me alone! The boy leaves and the girl is sitting there alone, crying her heart out. Then her cell phone rings. Girl: Hello? Mom: Sweetheart? I want you to go home, ok? I'll be home from work in a few hours. Girl: Alright Mom. Mom: I love you. Girl: I love you too, Mom. Mom: Bye Bye. Girl: Bye The girl heads home and once she got there, she went in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Girl: I'm not pretty enough... She set to work, knowing fully well what she was going to do. 2 hours later, her Mom came home and heard the bath water running. She went upstairs to find the hallway flooded so she knocked on the door. Mom: Honey? Are you alright? She opened the door and was shocked at the site. The bath was overflowing onto the floor, and the water was tinted red. She walked over to see what was inside and screamed. There, her little girl was lying with cuts all over her face and wrists. Her Mom backed away and was going to run to call the police when something caught her eye. On the mirror, am I pretty enough now? No one deserves to be told that by someone they love. If you find it messed up then forward this to everyone you know. A person's appearance doesn't count. What counts is their heart inside of them and their personality. No one wants to be told they're not good enough... Repost this in 5 Min or something bad will happen 2 U tomorrow saying "Am I Pretty Enough Now?"if ur a girl. If you're a guy repost as "No one deserves this"

Comments (1) | Permalink

my new poem! i guess ill call it "broken hearted"

you walked into my life with your blue eyes this was in kindergarten I loved you from then on you were my best friend but I so desperately wanted more but years later you just stopped talking to me I told how i felt but you just froze me out you were the first to break my heart but certainly not the last you walked into my life with your beautiful eyes you were my first boyfriend you were crazy and I loved it you loved me but you thought I didnt share it I could have loved you, given the chance but we were both too stubborn one stupid fight ended it all both our hearts were broken but it was certainly not the last time you walked into my life with your strange outlook on life you were older and I went through alot to be with you once again if given the chance I could have loved you then you ended it you cheated on me with her you broke my heart but you were certainly not the last you walked into my life with your guitar, and beautiful voice with mohawk sticking up, very cocky with your black eyeliner and fingernail polish you actually got me likeing that but in a blink of an eye you stabbed your guitar into my heart breaking up with me with silence you acted younger, when you older you broke my heart but you were certainly not the last you walked into my life with your beautiful eyes, silly laugh, and warming smile i still like you so much but you do not return the feelings you have hurt me but you are different because you did not mean too you have broken my heart but you will not be the last you walked into my life in 3rd grade with you knowledge of older things you were my best friend I loved you like a sister and I thought you loved me back but after 7 years after your pregnancy you stopped talking to me you hurt me more than anyone you were my "sister" and my friend not just some stupid guy you were supposed to stick by me but you dont care you hurt me and you are the worst one you broke my heart in a different way but you will certainly not be the last

Comments (0) | Permalink

Saturday, June 3, 2006

   boredom!

not much going on except for boredom! ive checked all my cults on vf, the bulletines on myspace, i guess i could go check xanga, but noone talks to me on there! no one talks to me on here barely either :( EXCEPT KIWI ACTUALLY DID TODAY!! YAY! lolyeah, aint done much today, didnt get up till 1:00 then i went to the arcade with my parents, hmmmmmm.... yes thats it when i got home i got on here! well thats it for now much boredom! i just wanted to post since i havent in a couple of days! l8r t8r! lol

Comments (0) | Permalink