Friday, April 8, 2005

Hectic...Too Hectic...

It's Friday and I'm happy... Well, not that happy. I wanted to go to Boondocks, but due to lack of money, I can't. Uuugh. I'm sorry Catherine! On the Other hand, Joel wants me to come over. I don't know if I will though. It's getting kind of late. Hmm.. I think about it later. Just to warn you, what you may call 'mindless rambling' is about to come up.... Well, today in English, two kids were passing notes and the teacher caught them and found out that the paper they were passing had a girl giving a guy 'head'. Needless to say, they are in major trouble. It was funny to watch though. Hehehehe. I'm so mean. That's why I'm going to hell. Besides that, the day was pretty boring. And if it wasn't, I was too busy reading my book by Ellen Degeneres to notice. Oh, my gosh, it's such a funny book! I was reading it in Advisory and I started laughing so loud. It didn't help that the room was quiet, so EVERYONE heard and was staring at me. Then like 10 minutes later, I was about to laugh, but I tried to control myself and started laughing anyways. Have any of you ever tried to not laugh and have it come out this horrible sound when it actually happened. It sounds like a person blowing their nose or something. Anyways, that's how it came out. I just gave up afterwards and would burst out laughing. Everyone wanted to read it, but I wouldn't let them. It's MY book and NO ONE shall touch it. Yes, I'm protective of my things. At the bottom I'll put a passage from her book. (One of the ones that made me laugh.) I'm hungry... I'm not sure if I wanna stay at Joel's. His house is fun and everything, but his family isn't exactly used to my way of living. *Cough* Vegan *Cough* Therefore, I starve.... They offer to cook me food, but I just feel weird. Then I thought about bringing my own food, but that made me feel weird too! It's just like saying, 'Oh well, I hate your cooking, so I brought my own food. Hope you don't mind'. I know I'll end up going anyways. Oh well. Here is the passage that made me laugh....Actually, I'll put two parts... 'My Meeting With God' -Ellen Degeneres ...So, a couple of mutes later, god walked in the room carrying a tray with a fondue pot and a bottle of Chablis. I would say she was 45 or 46 years old. And she was a beautiful black woman. I saw her and we immediatly hugged. She smelled SO good. She said it was Calvin Klein's Obsession Perfume. We sat down and started drinking and talking about the weather and what was going to happen to it. I asked her a bunch of questions I was curious about. "What is the hardest thing about being God?" "Trusting People" she said. "You never know if they really like ya or if it's just 'cause you're God. "Nobody cares about miracles anymore," she announced. "They just go by unnoticed." "What was the last miracle?" I asked. "It was the toilet that flushes automatically!" she said, eyes welling up with tears. "And before that, it was the George Foreman Grill! The Fat just drips off!" ....(Ok, it's me again. Now anyone ever hear the saying 'When you are alone, you only have one set of footprints, because God is carrying you." Well, that's what made this next section so funny...And back to Ellen...) God Said, "Do you remember that day you were walking on the beach?" I said 'Yeah'. 'Well I was there.' 'But there was only one set of footprints.' She said, 'I was on your back'. 'I THOUGHT I felt bloated that day. I thought it was water tension.' 'No' she said. 'Know that when you are bloated, I am there'. ..That comforts me... Ok, that just made me crack up reading it. (Sorry if it wasn't funny to you.) Anyways, here's the second part from her book... Chapter: This is How we live. -Ellen Degeneres ..."How else does Technology torture us? Well, try opening up a brand new CD. What has happened to the packaging of CD's?! These are angry, angry people, these CD packagers. 'Open Here' it says. Is that sarcasm? Are they mocking me? The plastic they use is so thick, it's like government plastic-civilians can't buy this stuff. And you can't get through it without slashing it will a knife or scissors or something. In fact, I find you need scissors to get into anything these days. Have you tried opening a package of scissors lately? You need scissors to get into scissors! And what if you're buying scissors for the first time? I mean, how can you possibly get in there? Damn the government." Words of wisdom, Ellen! I love you! Anyways, thanks to those who actually read this! By!

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