Sunday, May 1, 2005

   Peaches By: The Presidents of the United States of America
Movin' to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches,
Movin' to the country, gonna eat me a lot of peaches,
Movin' to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches,
Movin' to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches.

Peaches come from a can,
They were put there by a man,
In a factory down town,

And if I had my little way,
I'd eat peaches everyday,
Sun soakin' bulges in the shade.

Movin to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches,
Movin to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches,
Movin to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches,
Movin to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches.

I took a little nap where the roots all twist,
Squished a rotten peach in my fist,
And dreamed about you, woman.
I poked my finger down inside, make a little room for an ant to hide,
Nature's candy in my hand, or can, or pie.

Millions of peaches, peaches for me,
Millions of peaches, peaches for free,
Millions of peaches, peaches for me,
Millions of peaches, peaches for free,
LOOK OUT!

Millions of peaches, peaches for me,
Millions of peaches, peaches for free,
Millions of peaches, peaches for me,
Millions of peaches, peaches for free,
LOOK OUT!
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Sunday, April 24, 2005

Hi
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Friday, April 8, 2005

On a lawn chair
Warning: Do not eat

On a bottle of window cleaner
Warning: Do not drink

Please people, tell me if you have ever thought of making this your meal.
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Monday, April 4, 2005

   People, in South Carolina there is still a law stating that you must stop 70 yards in front of an intersection and shot a bullet into the air to warn any people traveling by horse. How about that. And in Atlanta you can not tie a giraffe to a telephone pole. And there used to be a law saying that if you jump off a building the punishment would be death. Well I think there is really only one reason someone would jump off a building and it wouldn't be to live.
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Saturday, April 2, 2005

Today someone left the sink in my mom’s bathroom running. My dad said to me, "You know, when you buy a new house you are able to tell when waters running." and I said, "Are you talking about when that sink was running" and my dad says,” You heard it?! Then why didn't you turn it off?!" and I said, “I don’t know." and then he says, “What would Captain Planet say?" And then my brother walks in and looks at the pile of apples and says, "HOLY CRAP!" and my dad says, "Yes, that exactly what Captain Planet would say, holy crap."

I don't know just a funny little thing.
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Friday, April 1, 2005

ok I'm gonna post the lyrics to a song that is just plain funny. This is because the origanal is like a rap song and this version is alot different. For one there are two acoustic guitars playin it. And yes lash, there are cuss words and i'm not even gonna bother staring them.

Boyz-N-The Hood

Dynamite Hack

Woke up quick at about noon
Just thought that I had to be in Compton soon
I gotta get drunk before the day begins
Before my mother starts bitchin' about my friends
About to go and damn near went blind
Young niggaz on the pad throwin' up gang signs
I went in the house to get the clip
With my Mac10 on the side of my hip
I bailed outside and pointed my weapon
Just as I thought, the fools kept steppin
I jumped in the fo' hit the juice on my ride
I got front and back side to side
Then I let the alpine play
I was pumpin' new shit by NWA
It was "Gangster Gangster" at the top of the list
Then I played my own shit, it went somethin' like this:

Cruisin' down the street in my 6-fo'
Jockin' the bitches, slappin' the hoe's
I went to the park to get the scoop
Knuckle-heads out there cold shootin' some hoop
A car pulls up, who can it be?
a fresh El Camino rollin Kilo G
He rolls down the window and he starts to say
It's all about makin' that G.T.A.

Cuz the boyz in the hood are alwayz hard
come talkin' that trash and we'll pull your card
Knowin' nothin' in life but to be legit
Don't quote me boy, I ain't said shit ...

Bored as hell and I wanna get ill
So I go to a place where my homeboyz chill
The fellas out there try to make that dollar
I pulled up in the 6-fo' impala
greeted with a 40 and I start drinkin'
And from the 8-ball my breath start stinkin'
I gotta get my girl to rock that body
Before I left I hit the bacardi
Pulled to the house get her out of the pad
And the bitch said something to make me mad
She said somethin' that I couldn't believe
So I grabbed the stupid bitch by her nappy ass weave
started talkin' shit, would'nt you know?
I reached back like a pimp and I slapped the hoe'
And her father stood up and he started to shout
So I threw a right-cross and knocked his old ass out

Cuz the boyz in the hood are alwayz hard
come talkin' that trash and we'll pull your card
Knowin' nothin' in life but to be legit'
Don't quote me boy, I ain't said shit ...

Punk ass trippin in the dead of night
homies score and key is gonna fly, punk ass fly


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Monday, March 28, 2005

Dear Lash27,
Fuse
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Sunday, March 27, 2005

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
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   I forgot that today was Easter. I even forgot that today was even a Sunday.
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Saturday, March 26, 2005

   New picture up. It's the picture of Haruko from FLCL coloured. Please comment on both this and the picture. In other news, I went to Kanpia of Tokyo or what ever its name is. It was goo. Except my parents told them that it was my birthday and so at the end they gave me a paper chef hat. It was cool and stupid at the same time. I'm sorry Ellie but we just couldn't wait for you to come visit. but when you do come you can have the hat if you want. I also wen to the mall with a friend yesturday. It was fun because we got to walk alone without my mom. And I was able to go into Hot Topic, I bought 2 shirts and a sweat band that says 'I'm Special'. My friend got a shippou key chain and a inu-yasha plusie. Then we got a cookie cake. But they made a mistake and made a large when we only needed a medium. Their larges are huge. Well thats all that has happened so far.
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