Monday, March 20, 2006

Well, la-di-fucking-da

Today just sucks. Nope, no, yay’s, no nothing. Just sucks. And you know why? My mom. Surprise, surprise. I’m at home right now. Its 11:58 A.M. Yep, I should be at school, but I’m not, because I’m sick. I do not, not, not feel good, at all. And so my mom picked me up from school early and took me to the doctor’s and they told me that there wasn’t anything wrong. But you know, fuck them. They aren’t always right, right? They can be wrong. And so can I. but I know I’m right when I say I’m not o-fucking-kay (MCR, gotta love ‘em). I hate when people try and tell you how you feel. “Oh, don’t worry, you’re fine.” No, no I’m not, I’ll tell you when I’m fine. “Nothing wrong.” I wish. I have gone to the doctors I bet more then 10 times this year. And now my schools getting all pissed off saying that I’m missing too many days. They can’t say shit cause they have no way of knowing what it’s like to feel how I feel now. No one does. At least, none of the people who I’ve talked to. Don’t say shit to me until you know how it feels to feel this way for 3 whole-fucking years. Yep, that’s right, I’ve been sick like this for 3 years. And each year is the same. I’ve already had surgery for fuck’s sake! My mom just told me that she can’t keep getting me out of school and she said that I’m just gonna have to suffer. Isn’t that sweet? Makes me feel all warm inside to know she cares so much. And as for me missing school, I really don’t give a damn. My health is more important to me then school ever will be. It’s just school and I’m not going to die there. The school doesn’t care if you’re bleeding eternally, as long as you are at school, they don’t care. Today could be your last day on Earth and they don’t care. And my mom. Gosh, she acts like I’m a burden! She could care less how I feel. If I was sitting in the middle of the road, bleeding and crying she’d come up and tell me to move because I’m blocking traffic! Oh, why don’t we all through a pity-party for my mom cause she has to take her only daughter to the doctor’s office. She acts as if all of this is my fault and that it’s my fault I have this. Like I can control my kidneys and bladder! I don’t even understand what they do, really. You know what? Sometimes, she’ll have a simple headache and she’ll go lay down and won’t do anything. No one even knows what’s wrong with me! And I still have to go to school, and I still have to do all this shit. The other day, my mom got mad and started yelling at us. Then she stormed off. She was mad because she said that we always leave everything to her to clean up. She’s so lucky; at least that’s her only problem. What about me? I’m failing school, I have some infection or what ever and I can’t do shit about it. Well, I gotta go. Peace out.

Song Of The Day
"They" Jem

Who made up all the rules
We follow them like fools
Believe them to be true
Don’t care to think them through

I’m sorry
So sorry
I’m sorry
It’s like this
I’m sorry
So sorry
I’m sorry
We do this

And it’s ironic too
Cuz what we tend to do
Is act on what they say
And then it is that way

I’m sorry
So sorry
I’m sorry
It’s like this
I’m sorry
So sorry
I’m sorry
We do this

Who are they
Where are they
How can they possibly know all this

Who are they
Where are they
How can they possibly know all this

Do you see what I see
Why do we
Live like this
Is it because it’s true
That ignorance is bliss

Who are they
Where are they
How do they know all this
I’m sorry
So sorry
I’m sorry
It’s like this

Do you see what I see
Why do we
Live like this
Is it because it’s true
That ignorance is bliss

Who are they
Where are they
How can they know all this
I’m sorry
So sorry
I’m sorry
We do this
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