Friday, September 9, 2005

   -Wake Me Up When September Ends-

Mood: Aggrivated Music: Bound, Disturbed I hate this morning with a great passion. First off my mother tried waking me up 4:30 so that I would go ahead and go downstairs and get no sleep...v.v; I didn't though because that's just really dumb, especially when I had an hour before I HAD to go downstairs. Well I didn't go down 'til around 5:45am ish. That's because my dads alarm had been going off for freaking fifteen minutes and he hadn't woken yet, and of course when I get down stairs the brat is awake because of the damn alarm. Afterwards I get my niece to lay back down and everything..x.x' After my dad got out of the shower though, all he could do is complain about how my mother spends her money and that he isn't giving her any money for this weekend. We're supposed to be going up to see my grandpa that is in the hospital because he had a stroke. I don't think I'm going now, I don't want to hear my dad bitch, -sigh- He always puts me in a bad mood. Yesterday for me was more of a better note even though I ended up having to babysit for awhile, but kinda really didn't have to since she slept the whole time I was there except for the time we were at my brother-in-laws house. While I was over there I got two new cds..^-^! And then we wrestled and I won..o.o I'm pretty brutual when it comes to wrestling or defending myself..XD It helps that I have pretty strong legs and very hard head. "Bound" Ready Darkness cover me I'm not ready to die, girl Because of what you don't tell me I'm not ready to walk inside of where you're taking me I'm not ready to die, girl Because of what you don't tell me I'm not willing to compromise the man i want to be Think you're a little bit closer To changing me You're never winning me over You're wasting time Leave me be I'm not ready to die, girl Because of what you don't tell me I'm never going to tow the line of your conformity I'm not ready to die, girl Because of what you don't tell me I'm not ready to leave the realm of anonymity Think you're a little bit closer To changing me You're never winning me over You're wasting time Get away from me Think you're a little bit closer To changing me You're never winning me over You're wasting time Well I better go. Ending mood: Hoping for better days Ending music: Prayer, Disturbed

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Thursday, September 8, 2005

   Randome day.

Mood: Calming self and cold Music: Numb Disturbed I have so much that I can say, but I don't know that I'll get to them all because truthfully I probably don't remember it at this time. To start out, I've been thinking of showing the pictures I have of the twins, but I decided to wait until they don't have so much stuff hooked up on them...e.e; In other news I found out that one of my grandpas had a stroke the other night, but my parents didn't bother to tell me until they were leaving to go to see him.><' Ugh it annoys me how much my parents don't tell me things that I need to know. Like my mom always pre-scheduling days for me to babysit really gets on my nerves because she never asks if I had anything to do on those days, and a lot of the time I don't, but with a few I've had to cancel out my plans for the day..;-; Hmm I was very hyper at around 10:00 p.m. that's why my mood says 'calming' o.o I'm a scary person when I'm hyper...@.@'' I can make scary sounds too....>->' One person thought I sounded like a gremlin..O.o'' Lol, but that's because I was just acting weird, crazy, and hyper. For myself to calm down though I have to read lyrics.@.@'' I don't know why, but it calms me down. There's so much that I can say, I just don't know what to say. It's all jumbled up and I can't find what it exactly is...If that made any sense..e.e;; Yeah, but lately I've been feeling a little unkindled, (Put out). Dun know why, just am, it's just one of those things I guess..e.e; And I don't really tell people, I just try to act like I'm fine even though on the other end I'd be crying..e.e' I mean, I've done it many times before...I do it because I don't like making others feel sorry for me. There's a thing about the word sorry I don't like, and it's just that I don't think that many people really mean it and just use it when they have nothing else to say. I think I'd know because I sadly do it too, but most of the time I don't mean it, and then there's sometimes where I'm just being sarcastic, and there are times I mean it...The word sorry is just so over used now a days. Okay, I'm getting carried away...x.x'' "Numb" Bleeding now I'm Crying out I'm Falling down and I'm Feeling nothing like Laughing now I'm Stopping now I'm Reaching out and I'm Feeling nothing Yeah, you have created a rift within me Now there have been several complications That have left me feeling nothing I might say, you were wrong to take it from me Left me feeling nothing Crawling now I'm Beaten down I'm Tortured now and I'm Feeling nothing like Hunting now I'm Stalking now I'm Reaching out and I'm Killing nothing I can feel you ripping and tearing Feeding and growing inside of me I want this, more than you know I need this, give it back to me I can't think of any of the other things that I wanted to speak of, so I'll just depart for now. Ending mood: Dunno Ending music: Niki FM, Hawthorne Heights

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Tuesday, September 6, 2005

   Lost For Ever, But Never Gone...

Mood: Slweep.......z.z; Music: Break My Fall, Breaking Benjamin Yes! Extremely good news...^-^ My sister had the twins the day of my last post...XD They're even in great condition. If the doctors had the twins stay there for the full term they'd be still born. Why can't doctors let nature take it's course, and stop trying to make themselves seem the smartest when in the end they're not. Yeah, I guess by that little comment and others that you can tell I don't like doctors..o.o; Other than that my weekend has been pretty fun. My friend came over and got me addicted to another game...^^ RollerCoaster Tycoon. I'm doing pretty good on my second try with this one park...I have like 22,000 something dollars and not a single loan..XD.. Talking about Parks....I had loads of fun at Kentucky Kingdom..^^ Once again we all succeeded in ripping of the place somehow....Tee hee, we're bad..I mean hi? (Oh, my mom was in on it too..^-^ Which was weird, because it was a nice thing we did...Saved people from having to spend some money...) I don't feel like posting music today, I'm tired and sore from all that fun that I had...@.@ -Yawns.- I mean, usually I wake up before my friend, but yesterday she woke up before me which was weird, but usually I keep door cracked open so that if she did she could wake me up, but it was closed which I don't remember closing it at night..@.@ Other than that, I've been playing that game forever in days... I'm going to go ahead and go. Have a nice day! Ending mood: -Snooooze- Ending music: Born Like This, Three Days Grace

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Saturday, September 3, 2005

   Wake Me Up When My Sister Has The Twins

Mood: gehhhhhhhhhh Music: None, but Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day should fit right now...e.e;; Total Visits 1803 Popularity Ranking # 415 (out of 34,254 active sites) ZzZzZ I think I might give up on my sleep..z.z' When you have a sister that is about to have twins at any moment and you're the only one that babysits the other little brat, it's hard to get sleep... They're going to try to hold her off for six more days...e.e; If I was my sister I would've killed the doctors by now...Think of all that pain she's going through..x.x; Yeah, I know the video to 'Wake Me Up When September Ends' is about this guy and girl and the guy joins the army and so on....Watch it, it's a really awsome video..^-^ But you know it's September...., but I guess a more appropiate title should be, 'Wake Me Up When My Sister Has The Twins"..e.e;; I wish....Sleep, I'm going to be deprived of it once again..v.v;; I have to get up in 4:25 minutes...Yes, it's two o'clock here...... I just got back from my grandmother-in-laws..x.x I...I forgot what I was typing..x.x;;; I shall go to bed......... Ending mood: Aggrivated at doctors Ending music: None again, but I think 'Rescue Me'from Unwritten Law would fit just fine..x.x

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Friday, September 2, 2005

   Making it..^-^!

Mood: In a hurry? Music: Sooner or Later, Breaking Benjamin Total Visits 1800 Popularity Ranking # 416 (out of 34,211 active sites) I'm glad that everyone liked my picture ^-^ Hehehe and no I'm from where I said I'm from I think..o.o;; It does say Kentucky right??? So I'm more like a middler..O.o' Yay?? Yesterday was alright I guess. I slept well and got up at the right time and everything..^-^!! Now, just to do that every Monday thru Thursday..o.o; I don't have to get up at 6:25 on Fridays, but I might do it just so then it goes a bit faster. In other news, this weekend my best -friend is coming over to my house and on sunday we're going to Kentucky Kingdom yays! Woot we spent most of our night on bored.com and getamused.com and getannoyed.com...Heh, yeah....But it's really hilarious..XD No music for right now, but maybe later if I remember too, same with the picture of the day...@.@" I might have to do without one of them when I start college just depends. I'll try to make it to sites when I wake up in the morning. So sorry if I don't make it yorus. Have a great day ^-^! Ending mood; Whee that was quick Ending music: My Bloody Valentine, Good Charlotte

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Thursday, September 1, 2005

   It's going to be slow....

Mood: WHY IS IT SO COLD Music: None Yesterday was alright...No take that back it was tiring because I didn't get any sleep.....;-; My mom came home early because my sister is back in the hospital and I got stuck babysitting while I didn't have any sleep at all through the night..-Big yawn.- My mom came back around 11:00 ish so I went up to my room and slept 'til 3:00 ish. In other news, I'm trying to get back onto my schooling schedule, so that means I wont be updating at 12:00 like I usually do for a while. After I get back into the habit, I'll be able to post then and go right to bed. Oh, still don't know if I want to do the picture thing of me or not.....Didn't get that much feedback yesterday.... Ending Mood: -Shiver- Sooo cold...x.x Okay, it's only right for me to do something with my post....So I'll let you see my picture..x.x I'm trying to figure out why I like this picture of me so much..e.e;

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Wednesday, August 31, 2005

   Nothing to much going on.

Mood: Just out there Music: Little Devotional, Taking Back Sunday Total Visits 1784 Popularity Ranking # 418 (out of 34,053 active sites Hmm, yesterday I didn't do anything at all...allllllllllllll day long..e.e;; I mean, I didn't even update or visit anyones site..o.o; The day before that was just a little more like that too...Nothing much now is going on, and I'm guessing that my sister is doing fine. Okay, I got a pic of me, that I think I wouldn't care showing, but I don't know if I want to or now...I mean it's me as a junior in highschool and I'm a freshman in college now..@.@'' There will be some differences of course..^^ Like I wouldn't have bangs and I'd have short hair that's layered...I dunno I guess I'll see what you all say first. "Little Devotional" Well I'm blowing smoke out of your window And you're slipping back into your dress You know you were always such a lady I've always been impressed But gentlemen They don't ask questions Just keep quiet She'll pay attention Gentlemen don't ask questions We could pay attention I said, "I'm gonna have myself in shambles Before your folks are up and looking for some answers." Said, "I'm gonna have myself in shambles Before your folks are up and looking for some answers." Well I pictured you in blue But I have to say I'm more partial to the red Deep, dark, and devastating Leaving no question as to where you've been I calm the crowd by keeping quiet Move like a shadow up to your matress Gentlemen don't ask questions We could pay attention Do you think he'd be better ('Cause we're down for competition) Doing what I do best? Do you think he'd be better (This could all be on purpose) Doing what I do best? I said, "I'm gonna have myself in shambles Before your folks are up and looking for some answers." Said, "I'm gonna have myself in shambles Before your folks are up and looking for some answers." Do you think he'd be better Doing what I do best? Do you think he'd be better Doing what I do best? Do you think he'd be better ('Cause we're down for competition) Doing what I do best? Do you think he'd be better (This could all be on purpose) Doing what I do best? I said, "I'm gonna have myself in shambles Before your folks are up and looking for some answers." Said, "I'm gonna have myself in shambles Before your folks are up and looking for some answers." Said, "I'm gonna have myself in shambles Before your folks are up and looking for some answers." Said, "I'm gonna have myself in shambles Before your folks are up and looking for some answers." Hey wow this post is longer than I thought it would be...x.x;; Byes, and I'll try not to be lazy today. Ending Mood: Musical Ending Music: I Want My Life, Smile Empty Soul Sorry I posted when I was sleepy, lol. The ending part of the post was stuck in the beginning of the lyrics..@.@

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Monday, August 29, 2005

   Here we go again....

Mood: Weirdness?? But I'm awake Music: Wake Up Call, Hawthorne Heights I got an evil wake up call this morning...-Blinks some.- My sister ended up back in the hospital..-.- They're trying to stop her labor again, but they're not having that much of a success...The bad thing is that the hospital they're at is a small one and can't handle a delivery of twins, but if they have to they will...After they're born though, they have to transport them to the original hospital that my sister had planned to have them at. Bad thing about that though is that they wont let her transfer over to the hospital to be with them, which I think is a bunch of bull crap...x.x;; Well of course...I'm stuck babysitting...But that's mainly because I don't like hospitals...I don't like them, and they scare me...o.o;; I know it may seem weird, but I never liked going a doctors office either, maybe that's because I never really ever get sick. I guess that's a good thing. "Wake Up Call" Swim through these waters My lungs collapse as I'm gasping for air I'll breathe you in (and I'll breathe you in) You are my oxygen alone Through arteries untold, your skin is pale, my body's cold Way down, deep down in my lungs I can hear our sweet decay So spill my blood (SO SPILL MY BLOOD) Midnight skies turn scarlet red Say "so long," say "goodnight," and just hold out your hand To catch me if I fall into the night Say "so long," say "goodnight," and just hold out your hand To catch me if I fall Everyone and everything feels like it slips away Way down deep down in my lungs, I can hear you as you fade So spill my blood (SO SPILL MY BLOOD) Midnight skies turn scarlet red Say "so long," say "goodnight," and just hold out your hand To catch me if I fall into the night Say "so long," say "goodnight," and just hold out your hand To catch me if I fall Wake me up from this nightmare Wake me up, I know that i am drowning in the blood Wake me up from this nightmare Wake me up, I know I am drowning in the blood from a pitch black heart Cut my throat Spill my blood Cut my throat Spill my blood Pitch black heart Say "so long," say "goodnight," and just hold out your hand To catch me if I fall into the night Say "so long," say "goodnight," and just hold out your hand To catch me if I fall Oh, I wont be able to make it to anyones site during the day, but I can in whee morning of right now...O.o See you around. Ending Mood: Ponderish Ending Music: She's a Rebel, Green Day

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Sunday, August 28, 2005

   It's To Early.x.x!

Mood: Meep!!! Music: Ohio Is For Lovers, Hawthorne Heights Omigwash..x.x!!! Today is been totally weird...I guess...o.o?? I didn't get to comment on everyones site because I wasn't allowed to get on the net..>-> I'm not even supposed to be on right now..@.@ It was weird because my sister kept calling me and asking if my mom was home, but she wasn't each time she called and when I told her she wasn't she just hung up on me..o.o;; When my mother got home I had her call her up and everything and they acted like everything was normal..x.x' Like a half-hour after my mom leaves my sister calls again asking for my mother knowing that she had gone out with my dad..e.e' She hung up on me again and then three minutes later my grandmother in Ohio called me and told me that my sister was in labor!!! She asked if I talked to her and I said yes, but that she didn't tell me that she was in labor.x.x! So we tried to get a hold of my mom on her cell phone, but she was out of minutes... Everyone was worried because she's not due for another six weeks and the doctor doesn't want her to have them yet...e.e' So she's in there while the doctors are trying to stop her contractions and crap. If they got them to stop she's home right now, but if not, she's still in the hospital..@.@' "Ohio Is For Lovers" Hey there, I know it's hard to feel like I don't care at all. Where you are and how you feel. With these lights off as these wheels keep rolling on and on. (and on and on and on...) Slow things down or speed them up. Not enough or way too much. (and on and on and on...) How are you when I'm gone? [Chorus:] And I can't make it on my own. (And I can't make it on my own.) Because my heart is in Ohio. So cut my wrists and black my eyes. (Cut my wrists and black my eyes) So I can fall asleep tonight, or die. Because you kill me. You know you do, you kill me well. You like it too, and I can tell. You never stop until my final breath is gone. Spare me just three last words. "I love you" is all she heard. I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever. [x2] [Chorus:] And I can't make it on my own. (And I can't make it on my own.) Because my heart is in Ohio. So cut my wrists and black my eyes. (Cut my wrists and black my eyes) So I can fall asleep tonight, or die. Because you kill me. You know you do, you kill me well. You like it too, and I can tell. You never stop until my final breath is gone. You know you do, you kill me well. You like it too, and I can tell. You never stop until my final breath is gone. (YOU...KILL...ME...WELL!!!) So cut my wrists and black my eyes. My final breath is gone So I can fall asleep tonight [Chorus:] And I can't make it on my own. (And I can't make it on my own.) Because my heart is in Ohio. So cut my wrists and black my eyes. (Cut my wrists and black my eyes) So I can fall asleep tonight, or die. Because you kill me. You know you do, you kill me well. You like it too, and I can tell. You never stop until my final breath is gone. You know you do, you kill me well. You like it too, and I can tell. You never stop until my final breath is gone. [to fade] I was going to post the other Disturbed lyric that I have, but I just love that song so much that I just had to post the lyrics...^-^!!!! Have a good day and wish my sister luck please..^-^ Ending mood: Concern??? Ending music: Somewhere I Belong, Linkin Park

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Saturday, August 27, 2005

   Your opinion counts too.

Mood: Dun no anymore Music: Better Life, 3 Doors Down Total Visits 1760 Popularity Ranking # 425 (out of 33,813 active sites) Things could be a little better for me right now...I mean, I was in a good mood through out today, but after a while it just went a little weird...I mean...People have their own opinions and I repect that, but the one thing I wont respect is my argument about pre-mature sex. I honestly disapprove of anyone that's under the age of twenty one to go out and about...Or else be married. Again I don't care what others think about what I think of this matter, I just strongly dislike teens risking themselves their freedom of fun. You can comment you're opinion, I'll gladly read it..^-^ In other news I spent most of my day cleaning up the mess of the fire. No real damage, just need to replace the stove..x.x It's making this annoying beeping noise because the oven part of it wont work. Also we have to replace the cabinet part and wash away all the smoke film...o.o'' Oddly this is no new thing to me...This happened once at the other house we lived it...Same senario and everything...@.@'' Except it was a big ice storm and our phone wasn't working and firemen caused more of the damage to the house then the fire did..;-;'' But...that one was my fault...e.e'' Except I didn't fall asleep I went to turn off the stove and thought I did, but it didn't click off all the way. After that though I never leave anything that's a grease producing thing on the stove..o.o; Yay, here's another song from Disturbed..^-^ DISTURBED LYRICS "Breathe" You will realease your life Forgetting what's forsaken the reason why You are alone again You will believe the lie Judging from what you've taken You breathe, alive You are alone again From the heart of darkness You call to me Spirit raging on There is nothing I can do For you are next to no one You will release your life Joining with the goddamned world Of the dead and the lonely You'll never leave alive Now do you think you're too damn good For the killing kind You will begin to cry Hearing the silence breaking You breathe, alive But you are alone again From the heart of darkness You call to me Spirit raging on There is nothing I can do For you are next to no one You will release your life Joining with the goddamned world Of the dead and the lonely You'll never leave alive Now do you think you're too damn good For the killing kind You will release your life forgetting what's forsaken You breathe, alive You are alone again You will release your life Joining with the goddamned world Of the dead and the lonely You'll never leave alive Now do you think you're too damn good For the killing kind Nothing I can do Oh, just for the heck of it, I'll add on another poem. Forever Gone The day is ending, forever gone, With the last waning breath. Closed thy eyes, nothing to see, for the last of thy beating heart. Darkness swells, up inside, Taking over, thy living breath. Saying it's time to die, forever gone, Beating rapidly, for temptation of desire. Red liquid, as dark as blood, Seeped into thy dying breath. Of thy going life, forever gone. Meeting with the diablo of hell. Cold and dry thy love is. Taking under thy life to see. Fields of flame, high as mountains, Thy breath, forever gone. Stillness claiming, thy lifes love, Making hell a welcoming home. Tempting, savoring, the horrible beat. Pounding thy empty life, forever gone. Ending a new of life, No love so deep, helped thy breathe. Burning up from the world of hell, The love for thy is lost, forever gone. Kept thy love, forever gone. For the beat of thy very breath. Stills the heart of agony, For thy life is, forever gone. Hope you enjoyed it..^-^ Have a nice day Mood: Enlightend Music: Landing On London, 3 Doors Down

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