Thursday, December 15, 2005

hey i got through a day single with the help of my friends! i was held by this guy named josh and he kissed me but we are not together, i just need to feel love, is that bad? i dont want to seem like a slut!he was an ass buti heard that he cry all day!well his loss! i do hurt and still love him though! -jenna christine

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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

well, i am finally broken up with my boyfriend it real and we wont be getting back together! i am 1 step closer to getting with the one person that i love and admire, the most amazing and undrstand person i have ever met! the one who i know would make me happy!!! i will wait until they are done with whatever they have to do and hopefully we will have a chance! p.s. all names are better left unsaid for chance of extreme drama from uneeded people! -jenna christine

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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

so how is everyone i am so utterly stressed and wish for break!!!!!! i hate this well me and seth have been talking more!!!!! i love u mommy!!!!! please spend he night at my house!! talking to seth is lessing my stress rate and a few other peole except my boyfriend are helping me too! thanks loving friends -jenna christine

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Monday, December 12, 2005

hey sorry i havent updated for awhile, my computer was doen but everything is fine now!!! my week has been okay, i am becomeing friends with the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with! how ironic?! i dont know if i can trust a girl i know i have been her friend for a while now but said girl has broken my trust in the past and i have heard she has talked shit about me but it seems said girl is really my friend, i am not sure what to do! i am very naieve as you may have noticed but i want friends and people to trust so i will trust them until they break it but i know that i am too understanding and naieve (for lack of a better word) to never talk to them again and that my dear friends is my down fall! i trust too easily! well i have to go -jenna christine

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Thursday, December 1, 2005

hey, to those who know me i am going through a huge depression right now, my boyfriend cheated on me again and said that he is all i can get so i got back with him and it might be true all the ones i want dont want me yes i know i have friends who care and thank you to every one but i cant stand my llife anymore, not only chris its my family too my mom thinks my grades are more important than my feelings and i have my whole life i cry myself to sleep and am so tired and weak i force my self to act happy and play around yes i do have my happy moments, i not all gloomy all the time, but thats only around certain people but when i leave them my high goes back down i love the ones who are here with me but i wish to end it all, i wont but i feel like it, i hate to sound all emo but please understand

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hey im in the computer lab in latin and i hate the project we are doing! this is soo boring well g2g -jenna christine

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Tuesday, November 29, 2005

how i feel about my boyfriend Chorus: See my days are cold without you But I'm hurtin while I'm with u And though my heart can't take no more I keep on running back to you See my days are cold without you But I'm hurtin while I'm with u And though my heart can't take no more I keep on running back to you Baby, I don't know why your treating me so bad You said you love me, no one above me And I was all you had And though my heart is beatin for ya I can't stop crying I don't know how I allow you to treat me this way and still I stay (Chorus) Baby, I don't know why ya wanna do me wrong (do me wrong) See when I'm home, I'm all alone And you are always gone And boy, you know I really love you I can't deny I can't see how you could bring me to so many tears After all these years (Chorus) Ohh, I trusted you, I trusted you So sad, so sad What love will make you do All the things that we accept Be the things that we regret To all of my ladies (ladies) Feel me C'mon sing with me: See, when I get the strength to leave You always tell me that you need me And I'm weak cause I believe you And I'm mad because I love you So I stop and think that maybe You can learn to appreciate me Then it all remains the same that You ain't never gonna change (never gonna change, never gonna change) (Chorus) Baby, Why you hurt me? Leave me and desert me Boy, I gave you all my heart And all you did was tear it up Looking out my window Knowing that I should go Even when I pack my bags This something always hold me back

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Saturday, November 26, 2005

hey, i was looking at my friends site and she called this guy her protecter, i realized i have no protecter! even though i have ah boyfriend he wont stand up for me, i am on my own, i fend for my self. maybe a few people are by my side but no one would take the time to make sure i am okay. i guess its better this way but i want to know that i have someone there to help me with out me asking for it. but i have realized i wont get that, never have never will, im sorry if i sound all emo but isnt this for me to tell all my emotions. alos i cant stop thinking about how me boyfriend cheated on me, even thought it was 5 months ago, i still feel all the hurt that i did when i first found out. he told me himself that he took her virginity and that he loved her, he still loves her, he even asked me yesterday if he could get with her! i hurt so bad and he knows it, i hate her because she will lie striaght to your face! even know just thinking about it i want to cry, i am so sick of crying, i think i do it too much. i want someone who will love me and only me forever, but i guess that day wont come. there was someone who could have made it better but i will never have that chance, i know i still can but there is alot more to it and i wish them happiness in all they do but i still think that i can make them happier than anyone else can, i hate saying that because i feel like i sound so conceted! i want a lover who will love only me forever, i always have but the ones who do say yes when i ask them out are the abusive ones. i guess i will never get the one i want know matter how hard i try, but i just cant understand why! is there some master plan i am missing or is it just bad luck that will never end well this has gone on too long. -jenna christine

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Thursday, November 24, 2005

hey u guys happy turkey day!!!! i finally went to see harry potter last night and it was sooo cool they did a way better job than the sucky 3rd one! still not what i wanted but i could see the whole book in a movie and sit there for 5 hours and not leave,i still cant wait to see memoirs of a geisha! i finished the book! woot woot, but anywhoo life is okay i guess. i have 3 other websites but i have to say that myotaku is by far the easyist to manage!

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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

i have lately been wondering about my purpose is life, i asked my "boyfriend" and he said to serve him but i want something more, i am already "engaged" to him but i dont want to live my life as a wife at home bearing children which is what my life is headed for as of now! i dont know who i am or what i am about i am not sure of anything, i dont even know what job i am gonna have if i even get one! this is where my life is heading: after high school i will go to college and get married when i am 21 then i will go to college a little longer and then have a kid or 2, then i will stay at home for the rest of my life and not work! my life has been planed that way scince i was little, all my life i was told i was not to work but to stay at home and be a good respectful wife. i dont want that, but i have no idea how to escape it without risking everything, all my money everything i will inherit i will lose if i stray away from my life of housewifeness! anywhoo how is everyone!!!!

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