Tuesday, April 24, 2007

loves and likes
people are so confusing these days. i dont really mind though cuz i can be confusing at times too. i love the way that nobody can understand me half the time. i am a puzzle and nobody seems to find even half the pieces. honestly i dont have a best friend that knows absolutly everything about me. i am pretty much an open book with my emotions but with everything else i am pretty much guarded. i am a leader not a follower so i do practically whatever i want to half the time. i love that i can be who i want and either people will love me or hate me for it. if i am hated i really dont care. i would rather be hated for who i am than loved for who i am not. thats my philosophy of life. if you dont like me...i could really care less. i am not going to change for anyone. i only like some things and honestly i dont love alot of things. yes i do love anmie. lots of it. i cant exactly name all the shows i like off the top of my head but if you ask me i will name them if you want. today has been a very interesting day. i havent felt more alert and like i dont want to hate life in a long time. yes i know i just came out of a mess. i might not be all the way out of it yet but i feel like i can deal today instead of hiding from my problems. jake is a jerk and i wont let him affect me. he might have been someone i was totally in love with but i cant do anything about it now. i have to move on if i want to live life to its fullest potential. i have a date this weekend but its more a friendly date than anything. he is my sisters boyfriend and i cant get attached so its kinda not a date. well see the thing is, she doesnt even really liek him but she stays with him and treats him like crap all the time. i dont even know why but she stays with him and its just going to ruin dating for the both of them if they dont admit how they really feel. i am personally against cheating so i cant stand that my sister is doing this to poor justin. she has two boyfriends that she says "i love you" and "i miss you" to. i cant stand it. why make someone suffer? i really like this guy named justin lippard. we did go out at one point in time. it was awful. i treated him like dirt and he didnt really care about me in that boyfriend and girlfriend sense like i wanted him to. its just better off as friends i guess. i also like this guy named clark hardy. he doesnt even know i exist and i even work with him. i am invisible and i dont like it. i think that i have wrote enough for one day though so i will go now...
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