icon of the day:
YO!
Sora: "Hiya."
well.... today SUCKED
S-U-C-K-E-D
WEll...
1st: i got up REALLY late
2nd: i felt like i was gonna faint this morning
3rd: i was late to school
4th: i almost got detention
5th: i'm exausted
6th: i have to stay after tommorow and take a Global test and i have no idea what it's about...
SO..... HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
-___-
i'm not in a good mood right now. i feel like i'm worth absoultely nothing. i fell like shit. i don't wanna live anymore. i hate everything. i'm crazy about a boy who doesn't notice me. no one talks to me. i'm all alone. i'm left out of things. my mom screams at me. my dad hates me and won't even call me. i didn't get anything for my birthday. everything is bothering me. i fell asleep in almost every class. i'm worthless. and pretending Sora cares is not helping me right now.
i'm going bonkers with everything that's going on. i'm really sorry to those who actually READ this. and thanks to the ONE person who commented yesterday. it was much appreciated... SINCE NO ONE CARES....
I'M MISUNDERSTOOD.
I'M SICK OF PRETENDING I'M OKAY WHEN I'M SO TOTALY NOT.
it shouldn't be this HARD to try and make friends. at my old school we welcomed those new kids like they were family we haven't seen in a very long time. maybe it was because it was such a small school. you could fit EVERYONE in the aud. (including ALL the teachers) and STILL have seats open. maybe that was why. but it shouldn't be so hard. i shouldn't. i'm giving up trying. i'll just stay by myself, alone in my room, sitting on my bed, listening to music on the weekends for the rest of my life.
and people wonder why i feel so alone. why i have so much pain. why i carry my own burdens and don't let them out. why i don't talk to anyone anymore. why i don't call my old friends that don't feel a need to even call the person they called: "their best friend" (execpt one... thank God. he gave me Dillon. the only friend i have in this god-forsaken world) the only reason i'm still living is because i can't stand to leave my mom all alone. it's just me and her against this horrible world. and i can't leave her by herself. and Dill... i can't leave him either. HE FINDS THE TIME TO CALL ME AND TALK TO ME. no one does that anymore. That's why i'm going into my shell again.
I FEEL SO ALONE.
ALONE...
BY MYSELF...
LONELY...
DEPRESSED...
i haven't been happy since the begining of 9th grade and that was a year ago. i haven't been able to sleep since the begining of 9th grade. i haven't been able to trust anyone since i was 7. i'm starting not to love anymore.
i love him. I REALLY DO. he doesn't care. he doesnt really even want to talk to me. he looks at HER. he talks to HER. i'm just the same. so yeah... she's SKINNY. i'm a little overweight. but he talks to HER... and not ME.
HE DOESN'T CARE EITHER.
I THINK ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME AND HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE ME AS A FRIEND.
I'M NOTHING TO HIM.
i'm seeing a theripist now... mom thinks it'll help.
I DON'T THINK SO.
I'M MESSED UP.
I DON'T THINK IT'LL WORK.
i'm gonna go sleep now..... or at least try to. i might as well give up going to your sites... no one visits me on here anyways....
SORRY I'M IS SUCH A FUCKED UP MOOD...
i'm not myself today....
or anyday for that matter....
SORRY
I won't be on for a while. who knows what might happen in that ammount of time.
i'll try to get poems on here soon. not that anyone reads them.....
lots of... love?
**Dark-San**
~Sora is MINE forever~
........... uh.... comment please!