Saturday, January 26, 2008

   The hardest thing to do....
is to let go. But...it's the one thing you HAVE to do.
Just a random thought for today, lol.
Anyways, today kinda sucked. Wouldn't it be nice to have wings? Then we could fly away whenever we wanted or needed to. I have to get out of this house before I go insane -__-
I ate cake O.o It was good. I also have an awesome idea for a new AMV so I hope that turns out good.
::sigh:: I miss Ashley.
I talked to my friend Ne-Chan over the phone for the first time. God...it hardly sounded like her. lol. But we talked and laughed and had a great time. It almost felt like I was talking to Chels again >.<
But anyways, i better go, I have things I need to do. Love you all!
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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

   What do you do...
When you're trying to get your heart back from someone you used to love, but one of your close friends always has a way of reminding you of them? It's nearly impossible. That's probably why I've been thinking about HER so much. Every Myspace bulliten has been about HER, to HER, for HER. There is now way I can end a friendship just to be able to move on, but it's what I might have to do. I'm really not sure about this at all. Advice please?
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Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Well, the dawning of a new year....
Happy New Years Everyone! Let's hope that this year is even better than the last! And let's hope I can remember last years valuable life lessons!
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Sunday, December 16, 2007

   Hello all!
Much has happened since I last posted, and I really have no time to explain everything. My grandmother and Uncle died recently, I guess that's the major things that happened.

But...I'm REALLY in the Christmas mood and I'm busy making Christmas presents and buying Christmas presents....
Oh yeah, I made an Edward plushie for anime club(James thought it was awesome -^^-) And I won first place so I got a 3 and a half pound candy cane which I am currewntly eating...
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Saturday, October 20, 2007

   blah...
::sigh:: I miss James. I haven't been able to talk to him much cause I'm staying at a friends house for four days while my parents are out of town. Her bus always gets to school 15 min. late, and it leaves 15 min. early, so I don't get to see James in the morning or afternoon -______-
And I haven't been able to stop thinking about him the past couple days...
And I've sent him tons of e-mails and he never replied to any of them. He said he hasn't had time to look at his e-mail...which is probably true. But whenever I check to see if I have E-mail, I get all emo cause there still isn't one from him >.< Am I just totally pathetic?
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Sunday, October 14, 2007

   When I first met James...
Okay, I thought it would be sweet to write about when I first met James. I had actually seen him before hanging around my friend Shii-kun, but I'd never talked to him or been introduced to him. Actually he kind of scared me. lol.
But one or two days after I had broken up with Shii-kun, I had to stay after school, and when I was waiting for my mom to pick me up, James came over and started talking to me. The first thing he asked was why I broke up with Shii-kun, so I talked to him about that for awhile, and he just sat there and listened, and it was weird, cause it looked like he was actually interested in what I had to say, and it seeemed like he was listening very intently.
And usually when I'm around people I don't know I'm so shy and I'll barely talk above a whisper and I'll only say a couple words, but it was really very easy to talk to him, I don't know, it was weird. I was still shy of course, but not like I usually am. He was really nice, not scary at all lol. I really had the wrong impression of him. So then it was either the next day or the day after that he wrote me a note asking me out and I had no idea what to say to him cause I had like ZERO experience with guys. lol. SO at first I said no, cause I was kind of scared and I had just broken up with Shii-kun, so i was still a little hurt. But then he wrote me another note saying okay, and it was just so sweet...he was just such a sweet heart that I changed my mind, so I wrote him a note asking if it was too late to be able to change my mind, and that I wanted to go out with him and at the busloop we hugged and he said yeah he still wanted to go out with me. So I was REALLY happy.
And that's how I met James. lol
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   homecoming
Sooooo...yesterday was homecoming...and I had my first slow dance EVER. With James -^^-
I was with James the whole dance. It was really nice. ::blush:: My friend Alex wasn't too happy about it though. She kept giving me evil glares when she saw me. She was pissed that I was hanging around James. She hates him because of the way he treated me before..you know...how he hurt me...
But he's been so good to me...and our relationship has been going really well.
Alex started yelling at me for waiting for James to get into the dance, and I yelled back at her that I didn't care what she thoght about James, and that I've already heard her opinion, and I just didn't care.
And at that point I was close to tears, but I didn't let myself cry. She hugged me, and I apologized for yelling at her then She and Sarah left to go dance.
and then James finally got let in and I was all happy.
He tried to get me to dance but I wouldn't and then FINALLY at one point I danced a LITTLE, for like a MINUTE and then I was just like, no.
And then a slow song came on and he asked me todance and I said yes, and he took my hand and pulled me further out into the dance floor and we danced -^^- The song was 'lips of an angel' by Hinder.
Then when we were leaving, I looked up at the sky, and the stars were just so pretty...::blush, giggle::
So I had a good time^__^
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Thursday, September 27, 2007

   HAPPY!!!
I AM SO HAPPY TODAY!!! WOOT!!! James is talking to me again -^^- (for those of you who don't know, he was mad at me and wasn't talking to me.)
So...he said he wasn't mad anymore and I got a hug from him, and he LOVED the picture I drew for him(at least he said he did, lol) so now I'm real happy! So yayy for happiness!!! NO MORE EMO!!!! ::does a weird dance::
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Saturday, September 22, 2007

   Gomen Nasai!
Sorry if I freaked you guys out. I wrote my last post only a short while after it happened, so I was still pretty upset. I had some time to think things through today, and I guess I was acting pretty childish -_- Something I need to learn is that life moves on. Thanks to everyone who pm'd me to see if I was okay, it makes me happy to know that you all care. But I will be okay soon. ::sighs:: I wish I could stop being such a baby...
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Friday, September 21, 2007

   ::cries::
I feel like dying. I really do. I just want everything to stop. All this pain, and everything. The person I love broke my heart, and now everything just seems meaningless. What's the point of life if you can't share it with someone? Being in love is just a curse. I used to think love was a good thing, but it isn't. It causes so much heartache. You give everything you have to that person you cherish, but it doesn't mean anything. No. I know that's not true. It does mean something.
But Love is just a waste of time and energy. It saps you of all hope and happiness when you're broken. And then you just sit there as the minutes tick by, the clock in tune with your own heartbeat that cuts into the silence like a knife.
I can't take anymore pain. I just can't. I loved him...and he hurt me. Again. I just don't know what to do. What CAN I do? I'm just broken...
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