Sunday, August 6, 2006

   All roads lead here...
Hello all. I have been gone all day and I haven't been able to use the internet. So, before I go on with my story, I have an anousement. As you know i have an "I save..." segment and I'm also planning to do a segment called "Games, for Assholes". So, as I can't seem to think up ideas, I will now take submissions. Just PM me with anything you would like to have me save or anyone you know who is an asshole and what makes him an ass. Anyway, on to my day. I was at the zoo. Yep my parents decided that was a good idea. I didn't have a bad time, but having to take the metro and having it break down while i was on it and having to wait 30 mins and then walking for 9 1/2 hours straight is tiring. So I'm back and I saw many interesting things there, but I shall not explain now because you have all been there. If you haven't get off your butt and go.

Ok, enough ranting. Here's another "I save..."

I save... Sonic the hedgehog.

Ok. I am gonna quote the first part of this. "It all began 15 years ago. The puny azure furball challanged a pipe-jumping italian steryotype." Now then. Sonic gave us many things, like the feeling of doing something, when we only spent a few seconds per level. The speed was addictive and was an instant hit. They made a few good games, but then they made a few mistakes after going to a 3-D platform. I shall now try to save this franchise.

Way to save number 1: Get rid of all these charicters! People, the game is named after SONIC, not his 15 or so pals. They keep making more and they get crappier and crapier each time. Example- Big the Cat. Anyway, companies don't make new charicters unless the series is so popular, they can do anything or the series is so bad that they are trying to make it good agian and turn crap into gold. Not gonna happen. The only charicters that you should have is Sonic, Dr. Eggman, and possibily Knuckles or tails. Thats it! Ok? Good. Next one.

Way to save number 2- No more vehicles! People, Sonic RUNS! That is what the basis of the games was. Sonic is not supposed to drive. If your going, "But i've never played a game where sonic drives!" Go out and rent Shadow the hedgehog and play it non-stop for 6 hours. If your still alive, you'll know what I'm talking about.

Way to save number 3- No more guns! This proved once and for all that Sega has no fuckin' clue what to do with the Sonic series. Sorry bout' that, but this was THE STUIPIDIST MOVE IN VIDEO GAMING HISTORY SINCE ET OR AQUAMAN. Who thought it was a good idea to let the people in the sonic series pick up an M16 and shoot people? Remember, guns don't kill people. Stupid publishers that have run out of ideas do. Listen idiots, go back to what the series is known for and remake the original games. Just instead of keeping them as 2-D sidescrollers, turn them into 3-D games. Thats it. Don't change anything else. Do all of this, and you might actually save the series.

Ok. I'm done ranting for now. Comment and if you want anything done, I take requests!
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