Thursday, February 16, 2006

   new update...
well, as destra said, we just had our prom (been really busy lately :Þ)... it was a lot of fun... i had a grand time with my friends (not so much with my date, but it was an experience)...

as my profile shows it... i just turned 16 last feb 14... nothing much that iam excited of... its just that people age fast... and when they age, life drifts pasts them... they only realize that life has left them... nothing, other than a memory of what they were....

yes, i am yapping again!!!!
..........

... i was supposed to update my site and make it an orange theme (orange=color and fruit)... its my remake of destra's be happy strawberry and Xiyouji's falling sakura....

... i have overly talented friends.... Ü its just that i cant find the time to create stuffamajiggys like that... its plainly a matter of me not knowing stuff...

...i have been more down and less up lately... though i still get really hyper (hyper=extremely loud, utterly annoying, highly irritated, very very sensitive; any extreme form of emotion) Ü... the dawn just kills my want of dusk... and by dusks presence, i shrill at the sight of dawn...

my thoughts are like the origin of the egg and the chicken... which came 1st? egg or chicken...

...running .... running.... continously running... away? to?... running... nowhere.
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Sunday, February 12, 2006

   i can...
why do you
see me
as nothing more than this?

why do you judge
my being?

as low as you see me...
i am more than what i seem to be...

i am far better,
than
whoever, whatever
you may know...

i can...
...live with you
...live for you

i can...
...smile with you
...smile for you

i can...
...be with you
...be for you

... if you would only let me
... i can...

could you ever
see me as
more than what you can see...
something
deeper than one sense can percieve...

could you ever
see me as...
something,
a thing others cant be...

i am for you...
you can mold
my mind, my heart and soul...

i am for you...
your presence,
is the meaning of my life...

i am for you...
you breathe into me,
and make me fall...

falling...
seeming...
drifting further and further away...

if you could only see...
me...

if you could only breathe...
me...

i could make you see...
beyond
imagination, reality and fantasy

why mustn't you see...
me...
why wouldn't you let...
me...

i can your everything...
i can be yours...
...iam for i can...


************************************************
this is one of those unbearable blurs that run through my psyche... i write all these blurs in my notebook... my treasured secret of trash and nonsense... dont ask me why the f***k would i blur about mushy, all-out, love stuffamajiggy... its just what it is...

*******comments are very much appreciated.... :Þ
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Sunday, February 5, 2006

   finally... judgement day and iam still alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we recieved our report cards just this friday and i did fair in all my subjects........
much to psychodad's intuition i didnt fail anything....
(sinister laugh, gnashing anything in sight!!!!!)

well... alls fair... not that i see it as great, i just see everyday as another opportunity to walk through earth and hope for all the emotion to go away....

....sorry, im just plain... nothing more of what i am,.... iam plain.... annoyingly, wretchedly plain.........................

i love dots.......... they produce an end yet presents a longing for more........................
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Monday, January 30, 2006

   there you go destra! *_^!
...there.... i changed the color of my site... hopefully by this summer... i get to learn how to use photoshop and stuffamajiggys that make great backgrounds... like xiyoujis site! with the falling sakura and all.... ^_^!!!!!

*********sorry for the psychophonic colors, nakakasilaw nanaman no???!!!!???? hehehe....
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   eeeeeeeehhhhhh.... report card day....
wahhhhhhh.........
it is the judgement day of a million and one other judgement days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
REPORT CARD DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well... i did try my best in algebra.... hopefully my efforts would reach up to the expextations of psychodad

i wont make my posts long... so as to decrease my mass production!!!!
^_^!!!!

.... for xiyouji and destra.... i still cant figure out how to use the URL thingy you wrote down for me... sorry iam a rock..... *_^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

   happy birthday?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!
well... its my dads birthday...
normally for a human being, a birthday is something special, or something you look forward to... but in a psycho dads case.... its definite taboo!
he rants about a lot of things!! he rants about practicaly everything!!!!!
why does he make everything into a conflict?!?!?!
i live in the philippines, and the usually, as a financial resort, most fathers work abroad.... why cant i have a life like that....
knowing that he is here, but not here....

sometimes in my quest to find and give meaning into my "forsaken" life... i just roam around in circle,



...... for xiyouji..... Am eri go ro und a nd rou nd!!!!!! :Þ
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Thursday, January 19, 2006

   hoping!! please oh please oh please!!!!!
yey!!!! its the end of our 3rd quarter exams!!!!! hopefully all the things that i studied really hard for (i studied for the whole week, no breaks and stuff, reason: my ever unbearable psycho dad!!!!!!!) will pay off as a good grade....
....my friend left for japan this morning, its really lonely in our waiting shed.... though a lot people think of her as a total bitch.... i care fro her cause shes my friend... she may be a prick at times... but thats just her... i learned to accept people to be accepted... i try so hard to stick up to people sometimes, that i even hurt that person and myself.... i put myself to all sorts of torment(iam not a masochist like xiyouji :Þ)... well thats a part for now... we have a dial-up connection and my psychodad needs to use the phone....
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Friday, January 13, 2006

   friday the 13th!!!!!!
wow! it just dawned on me that its friday the 13!!! and tonight is a full moon!!! ghost and ghouls come alive!!!! well it has been an un-unlucky (in other words,lucky)day for me (though it might not be for my other classmates)!!!! :Þ we (the batch) took the unit tests for the two most unbearable, difficult and presumably irrelevant (well,not all lessons were irrelevant) subjects geometry and chemistry (for my friend cho, geomistry)!!!!

its not as hard as i studied it to be... i was in a bit shocked that i thought of it as a perfect level of difficulty test... not idiotically easy and not ingeniously difficult... :Þ

...still im hoping to survive till finals week(this coming week)... hopefully, ill get a rebound on my algebra grade from last quarter... which is extremely low judging by my unsatisfied dad...
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Wednesday, January 11, 2006

   paws.....

adopt your own virtual pet!

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   no clue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the end is near.....
next week will be our finals (for the 3rd quarter) and i still have to cram a lot of stuff!!!!!
so much to do so little time!!!!!
i clearly have no clue as to what our exams will be like.... the students and teachers are all haggling projects, tests and quizzes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhh!!!! the fear of the terrible unknown!!!!! (hey, phobias! part of our health test!) :Þ
hopefully ill get by..... uhm... prom is nearing, i cant say im excited nor am i apethic towards it.... ahhhhh!!!!!!
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