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myOtaku.com: narcissisticlozer


Wednesday, March 15, 2006

   what i hold onto
i hold on to the color olive green when its pale and gray blue and the faded photo memories that lay dusty in my corners i hold onto people i love, i hold onto the promise of god and i hold onto the melodies that cram every inch of my airspace with shouts and screams, i hold onto the smell of her perfume and the beauty no one understands, i hald onto dried tears that fell down like the rain, i hold onto my secret thoughts, and special box, and everything that no one understands, i hold onto the plastic scent ans the computer hum and everything no one will ever understand,
things no one will ever no a part of me i dont want to lose, but mite forget, a me that isnt me, a me that is her,and always will be her, a me that never can be me because i do not exist and perhaps thats wat fucks everything up in the end because how can i be becca if becca has always been melissa and melissa has never noticed that becca never seemed to be becca, so if becca isnt real and melissa is in rehab then who.....who ...am i?
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