Thursday, September 20, 2007

Here is a part in my story can I get some opinions plz? Thanx ^^
Chapter One

There was once an elfin girl named Elizabeth who had lived an elegant life in the beautiful elfin town of Lithia. She was born upon the elfin girl Xiolia she was the most beautiful elfin girl in the village. Elizabeth’s father was the king Alexander. People from her village had always said Elizabeth was the most beautiful baby ever to have been in the village and that she was created by the most beautiful angels. Jillian angel of beauty, Debra angel of grace, Alexandra angel of strength, and Kathleen angel of brains together they formed the elfin girl known as Elizabeth.
The elfin village was one of the most peaceful village’s in all the land but one day they had war with the town of Zarlin. Zarlin’s town was town of the human’s and there king has been trying to marry Elizabeth ever since she was twelve but the elfin village needed Elizabeth to be the next queen. Since they had refused to the human kings final offer they were forced to go to was with the town of Zarlin.
Since Elizabeth’s father was the king he had to go to war they set up a plan of where to strike Zarlin’s weakest source the underground secret entrance. Since the town of Zarlin didn’t believe anyone could ever find there secret entrance they never had many guards underground. But there plan had failed they had been spotted by a near by soldier when they were about to strike and they became out numbered. Some had survived but unfortunately Elizabeth’s father hadn’t.
Elizabeth was very depressed when she had heard of her fathers death but the elfin warrior’s had assured her that no one will get inside of the elfin village but they were wrong. One night about a week after her father’s death a human warrior had gotten into the elfin palace. Her mother didn’t not survive the attack on the palace but Elizabeth did.
Terrified of her parent’s death Elizabeth had decided to run away from the elfin village until the war was over. But Elizabeth had no where for shelter and she didn’t have any friend’s from other villages she could go to she would have to manage on her own.
Elizabeth would have to get passed the war without being spotted by the enemy or anyone from her village so she decided to leave at midnight when the moon shined brighter then the stars. She would try to get into the village of Buthmia but she had a long journey ahead of her there was only one village on the way to Buthmia and that is where she would have to get most of her supplies. Elizabeth started to pack some food and water for her trip to Buthmia she knew she wouldn’t have enough to last her the whole way so she would have to get some more when she reached the little town along the way. Elizabeth was about to put in the last bottled water into her little bag when she heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stares. Elizabeth quickly shoved her bad under her bed and ran for the closet.. She got in and was very still as her door opened the light from the hall entered the room and Elizabeth held her breath as someone entered her room.
“Elizabeth are you in here?” Elizabeth suddenly exhaled her held in breath and opened the closet door.
“Why were you in the closet Elizabeth?”
“I thought you were the enemy.” Elizabeth answered calmly.
“Oh well Miss Elizabeth I assure you no one will come into this palace anymore.”
“I know James but I just don’t feel safe when there is this war going on.”
“Oh well Miss Elizabeth I assure you no one will come into this palace anymore.”
James was Elizabeth’s guard if anyone ever tried to attack Elizabeth he must guard her with his life on the line until she was safe even if it meant death to him.

“I know this is your first time ever seeing a war Elizabeth but I must admit you are taking it rather well.” James said as he sat on her bed next to her. Elizabeth looked at her clock Ten o’clock pm she had two more hours before she was going to leave the village.
“I am rather tired I think I will go to bed now James.” Elizabeth told him trying to make him leave so she could finish her packing.
“Yes Miss Elizabeth I shall let you go to sleep.”
“Good night James.” Elizabeth said waving to James.
“Good night.” James replied back as he closed her door. Elizabeth then rushed under her bed to get her bag and started to finish her packing.
The time was eleven fifty pm ten more minutes to go. Elizabeth looked out of her window to take one last look at the elfin village’s beauty one last time before she left. Memories started to come back to her of her parents and Elizabeth started to cry. At twelve am Elizabeth decided it was time to leave and she took her back and opened her window.
She didn’t go out through the window she did that so people would think that is how she left she wrote a note first that read…
Dear Elf’s,
I leave today for I believe it is too dangerous for me to stay while this war is going on. My parents deaths were meant as a warning for me to leave. I am not a child anymore I understand what is going on and I am afraid I must leave. But do not worry I will not be gone for long just until the war is over I pray my best and hope all of you will be fine as this war continues they may even surrender when they find out I am gone. Good luck to all of you!
Your Elfin friend,
Elizabeth.
And with that letter set on her bed Elizabeth opened her door of her room and started to walk quietly down the stares to Buthmia.
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