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Female
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• 2004-05-25
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• hmm...i dunno. whatever i answer to...right ANT?
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• apparently, i can attract more bad luck than anyone in the universe...
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Wednesday, December 8, 2004
phonies arent cool man...
hey guys! long time since ive had enough time or energy to post. actually to be real i still have neither, but i admit i do miss you guys. so to update...alexavier has a boyfriend. yay for him...although i admit, things are different now. its harder to talk to him and even harder to find him. i hate to sound like the jealous best friend type, but im not the only person who feels like this. i mean, dont get me wrong, i love Alex, and his boyfriend is super awesome, totally cool, but it seems like Alexavier gets more and more irrespnsible as days go by. As a matter of fact, hes been on this path long before his boy even came into the picture. it started out with simple bunks, you know, skip school, but go to work. then it became go to school skip work, although not as often, he still did it. i mean, i understand that it is his own life and he can do with it but he wants, but i honestly think hes going down the wrong path...i want to tell him this, but i know that sometimes we can be so hardheaded when we think we know what we are doing. and especially Alexavier and i. i mean, we are notorious for making up excuses for everything that we do or dont do, subsequently. "no, i didnt go to school, im just so tired" or "i dont feel like going to work, my back hurts", yet we have no problem going off and doing stuff that we deem fun, like going to our friends houses...im a little afraid to confront him with this new conscience of mine, i mean, im trying as hard as i can to do the right thing and look out for my own, and im afreaid that he wont understand. plus, im not very good at these emotional confrontations. i think id just scream in his face WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOT?!, which would lead to a huge battle that i honestly dont want to fight. i know that it sounds bitchy, and i hate to whine to you guys about this, but i figure maybe this way he'll come on here and read this and understand that one of his closest friends is worried about him. i am happy that he is happy and i wish him all the best, hopefully he knows that, but at the same time i feel so much rage at the way he is behaving lately...wat do you guys think?
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