Wednesday, March 3, 2004

   :(:(:(:(:(
Fuck!!! I'm so sick and tired of being walked all over! I can't fucking take it anymore! Why doesn't anyone have respect for me? It's like no one even hears me when I talk. Richard won't even talk to me anymore and I didn't even do anything... he's already going after a new girl, and it hasn't even been a week yet... *sigh* I asked him if I could call him tonight and he just said "Well no, I'm probably just going to hang up on you." I just don't understand; he talks to me all art class, and never shuts up, but when it comes to his friends he won't even look at me. He doesn't even tell me anything... like, he just dropped his Math class, and he didn't even tell me. Usually, while we were dating, we'd always walk together to 3rd, now when I walk with him it's like he speeds up to walk faster... I have to pretty much run behind him.

I hate to sound like a whiny bitch, but I fucking hate myself. Every relationship I've ever had has been the same. I end up chasing after the guy until he tells me to just fuck off. I get so attatched to people... I just can't help it. I don't understand how Richard can already be over me. I mean, we went out for 3 months, and then it's just over, and he's already going after another girl. He also told me that he'd stay with me through this whole thing, now he won't even call me. I wish I had someone to talk to...

So to make everything worse, my dad is moving away. I love my dad so much, he helps me through all of my hard times. I don't know what I'm going to do when he's gone... he's moving to the town his girlfriend lives in. It really hurts... it's like he's replacing Chelsey and I with his girlfriend's kids... I'm really sick of all of this. Everything is falling apart for me, I can't take this anymore. Little things are starting to bug me, like today Nigel called me dumb (jokingly, it's just the way he is) because I didn't understand our biology assignment. I freaked at him. I just can't handle anything anymore. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't do my homework, I just can't do anything.

*Sigh* I wish I could fall asleep for 3 months and wake up when everything goes away.
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