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• 1990-11-16
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• 666 Purgatory Lane
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• 2004-12-25
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• Grammar Nazi-in-Training, High Priest of Squirrel
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• Some poetry awards, and other various writing awards constitute most of the accolades received in my life
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• two years ago?
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• Fushigi Yuugi, GetBackers, Eerie Queerie, Demon Diaries, Shutterbox, and many others
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• To be published as a poet and novelist hundreds of thousands of times, to dominate the world in the name of Chipper, to get Invader Zim a channel on TV all to himself
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• Writing, listening to rock music, watching anime, hanging out with friends, slacking off.




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myOtaku.com: NekojinBoyKotaru


Tuesday, March 1, 2005

   The Inevitable.
It's happened and it's happening, all at once, in degrees.

Moreso violent tendencies. More serious mood swings (I swing from angry to depressed to violent to happy to depressed to angry, now. It used to be happy, depressed, happy, depressed. These are examples, not solid.))

I have the craving to just hurt. To cause pain. To feel the warm blood of those I hate pouring over my skin.

I need help. I'm becoming afraid of myself. I can't do anything about it except to write, and to sleep.

I cannot cry. I cannot turn to my dreams for solace. The only restful sleep is that in which I do not dream.

The inevitable, what I've feared for so long, has come.

And of course, I write this on the day that my parents forced my ex and I apart. *sigh* It was a leap year, last year, so today is technically the one-year anniversary.

I was doing so well. I was happy. I really, really, really was. But...what happened? I don't understand myself anymore.

I'm constantly frustrated, aggravated, irritated, nervous.

I even have a crush. Pitiful, I know, but hey. I don't care.

Oh. I almost pierced my lip on accident. I was holding my stylet (a type of dagger) up to my lip the other night, the point poking my lip, and started to fall asleep. I snapped awake just before it pierced. :-)p

Byebye...and please, no pity. I don't exactly want to hear it. I'm gonna...do...something. Like waste time.
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