Monday, April 18, 2005

-Brianna goes to be bi with John John-
Time: 5:00 pm - pm

Mood: HYPER @_@!

Eating: Carmel and nut ice cream cone n.n!

Post: BRIANNA {Yes, that's my real name} ISH HYPER!!! @_@!! SHE HAD TO MUCH SSSSUUUUGGGGGAAAARRRRR! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! O_O

I'm better o-o;; For now...

Now then -clears throat- o-o For your commentness Henry >->

Nuuuu... Baby, you didn't screw any body over... {Unless you count me that one night, but that's off the subject XD!} Dante apperently liked me long before I even knew you I think. It just took him back when I was so depressed and shit and putting myself down all the time to get him to say it to me. I think he just doesn't like you too much because he doesn't want to see me get hurt or some thing. Or he may still be a bit jelouse deep down inside. It's most likely all the stress and shit he's going through right now, though. So don't worry a thing about it, I'll work with him and we'll reach an agreement ^-~

Otay... o-o So now that that's out of the way. I can tell you all about my boring ass day...

It was boring... o-o;

-bows-

XD

I know, I'm just cool like that...

HA HA, I WISH! XD!!!

Oh yeah! As for my subject, it's kinda hard to explain o-O;;; -cough, cough- I'll let your little minds wonder 'till tomorrow XD

Any ways, so Reno's borednessness ish coming back, so she will stop here o-o;

-Reno-
Comments (1) | Permalink

Sunday, April 17, 2005

I can't think of nothing XD
Time: 6:57 pm - 7:30 pm

Mood: A hell of a lot better then she was an hour ago.

Eating: Nothing.

Post: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I decided to try this whole time, mood, post thing for once. If I like it I’ll continue. If not, then I won’t. Simple as that. Now then. my day has been an absolute roller coaster of feeling. I’ll start from last night.

I ended up not going to the after-prom. At first, Dad said I could go, and I was so excited! But then, right as I’m getting out of the shower to get ready, he pulls me out of my room and tells me he is having second thought about the whole thing. My heart just dropped. I knew what he was heading for, and I didn’t like it. I tried all I could to try and convince him to still let me go, but to no avail. He said he wanted to do the ‘responsible’ thing, and not let me go. He said I should have told him sooner. But I had no chance to. I was at moms and then he worked to ten the night before. I didn’t have any chance to even if I wanted to. So I ran off like a fucking 10-year-old to my room, and cried my eyes out. After I calmed a bit, I decided to call Henry and tell him. I felt horrible for ruining it, it was all my fault. No matter how many times he said it would be okay, I just couldn’t bring my stubborn self to believe him. We hung up at around midnight, and I passed out still crying a bit. I woke up around 11 and rolled out of bed and got onto the computer, feeling much better about the night before.

I got to talking to my regular people {Dante, Matt and John} and I was having fun. But then it kind of blew up in my face... I started joking around with Matt as he Rp’d with one of his characters, Alyx, and I was in mine as Maryl. Well anyways, I was being my stupid self and ‘chibi fuck’, as I put it at the time, Alyx. {No. I didn’t go into detail XD I just kind of did my normal ‘-fucks- o.o’ thing. {Yes, I am a weirdo, AND PROUD DAMN IT n.n!} But then Matt got into it, and I, being the idiot I am, decided to play around and said she was prego. {Prego = pregnant, not the pasta sauce XP} So then, he’s all ‘You can do that?’ And I’m just ‘It’s an RP, you can do anything XD’ Then he’s just like ‘SWEET.’ And, well, you guys don’t really care, so I’ll make this short. I told Darkk, {Maryl’s adopted father, one of Dante’s characters.} that she was pregnant, and he flipped out. And after they all got into a fight, he disowned her.

After that whole ordeal, I decided to call Henry to just get my mind off of it for a while. He said he was up at Red Robin and was about to go get his hair cut. I told him I could go meet him down there if he wanted, and he said yes. So I got ready and walked down to the ‘mar of walls’ {XD} to find him. He kept looking over his shoulder to make sure his parents weren't coming as we wondered around the store a bit. Around the shoe isle, his phone ring with his sister, Lu, on it saying the ramp broke and he needed to come fix it. So I said I would just wait there while he went. About 10 or 15 minutes later, he found me wondering through the bags because I got bored of the shoes. We went down and got him into the hair-cutting place and he got his hair cut. {=o What a shocker there.} Afterwards we wondered a bit and went down to the hair coloring isle to look at red dye for my hair. He still had little bits of hair all over him because she didn’t really brush him off to well after she was done. I just told him to take a shower when he got home and he said I should join him {I wish ^-~... XD!} Anyways, so we wondered around there and the fishy isle for a few minute before his phone rang once more, telling him he had to go. So we said our good byes and I walkededed back home. I got there and popped a frozen chicken patty thing in the microwave and wondered back upstairs to go back and see how every one was doing. Now here’s the fun part... --;

I come on to find that Dante and Matt are in a huge fight, with Dante wanting to kill Matt. Of coarse I try and play the ‘good friend’ and get them to make up. But I ended up being the go-between since Matt apparently iggied all of Dante’s SN’s. Then Dante said he was going to put a hit out on Matt, and I was screaming at him not to do it. I just wish he would learn that getting his friends to kill some one he gets in a fight with every time he’s mad won’t solve anything. So I’ll make this short again. By the end I’m crying my eyes out and shaking in John’s arms as he tries to calm me down and tells me not to get my knife because if I did he would too. Then Dad kicked me off and I had to leave, hopping against everything that they are all still alright. I’m typing this on my MS Word right now because Dad has the phone line. I’m waiting for him to get off so I can see what happened.

I guess that’s all really. I know no one really read this all because no one cares, but oh well. It helps me a lot to at least get it out there... Bye all.

-Reno-

PS - This is just some thing else I think may help me a bit...

Dante

Met: About five or so years ago in an RP room.

Fondest memory(s): He’s gonna hate me for this one, but one of the one that sticks out in my mind right now is the day he told me how he felt for me. I was crying and he just held me to him. I miss when we used to be like that, actually. He knows what I’m talking about, I guess it’s just hard to explain.

-sighs- Some times I think he just lies to me about every thing that he does/is doing. But others I believe him with all my heart. He is one of the best friends I have ever had. No matter how badly he may treat me, I’ll always run back to him. Because I know that he does love me. I guess it’s just hard to think of how we once were, and how we are now. Some times I wish I could just go back in time to right before I started going out with Henry. Right when he told me how he felt for me. How amazing he made me feel all the time and how he would treat me and make me laugh. I guess part of me just thinks we’re still like that. But it’s so different now. I’m not sure what to do about any thing with him any more...

John

Met: About a year or so now, also in an RP room

Fondest memory(s): Any time he is just there for me. Making me laugh or lifting my spirits when I’m down.

Ahhh... n.n; My John John. Always the sweetest thing to me. He’s always there for me when I need him. He’s such a funny, nice, and caring guy. I’m glad I bugged him so much that one night about himself. Other wise I don’t think we would be as close as we are now. He is the one who I seem to be running to lately with every thing I need help with. And I know he will just bare with me and help me through it. He’s one of the greatest people I have ever met, and I pray I never loose him.

Matt

Met: Through Dante. He made him one of my characters, Reno, and Blaze’s first son, Rage.

Fondest memory(s): Any time we get to mess around and just be stupid n.n; It’s always fun to talk to him.

He’s such a great guy ^^ Always so funny and usually in a happy mood. It hurts me when he is down, though. I hate to see one of my friends sad or even angry for that matter. I don’t quite know him as well as I do Dante and John, but I’m doing what I can to fix that n.n; I love to talk to him, he laughs at my joke and then makes some of his that are quite funny usually. I wish I ha more to say, but I think my brain just died x.o Oh well... -blonks- XD!

Comments (3) | Permalink

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Tonight should be fun n.n! If I can go that is... x.x;
Well, tonight I'm supposed to go to the after-prom with some 'friends' -cough, cough- XD (Aka - Henry) But I will most likely see a bunch of people I know there, anyways. So I'm not technically lying... Much o-o; But, it's still not set in stone. I think dad's pretty ticked about my grades. Biology went down to a C {Big deal... --;} And it says I have a F in geometry {I brought it up to a D already, I checked yesterday.} We'll just have to see what happens. I have a feeling he just may say yes n.n! So I just have to stay out of trouble with him for once and do anything and EVERYTHING he says. So yeah...

Besides that, to day was fun so far. We went out and played some frisby golf for a couple hours on the coarse over by Highlands Ranch and Centenial. It was just Dad, Christopher {My little brother}, Jennifer {Dad's girlfriend}, and me. We didn't keep score or anything, and I almost hit one of the cars on the freeway a few times, but still lots of fun XD

But I guess that's all for now. I'll post more later if I can, since the after-prom isn't until midnight and goes 'till about 4 am. So talk to you all later! Love ya! ^-~

-Reno-
Comments (3) | Permalink

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

84 bottles of beer on the wall, 84 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it around... Uhhh... What number were we on >>;? ... HEAD SHOLDERS KNEES AND TOES! KNEES AND TOES! XD!!!!
That's basically what it was like on the bus home today XD Funneh as hell. We were all singing and shit, a good day.

Well, today was okay. Didn't really do much. Just went to biology, then music (About 3 progects due in there by Tuesday) then English (I STILL HAVE A B! O_O Even after I fucked up that project XD) then geometry (I found out my grade is a 61.4... I EVEN BROUGHT THAT UP x.x;)

Anyways, I'm too lazy to really type right now, I'll come back later and write more if I can ^-~ -kisses and hugs- Bye all!

-Reno-
Comments (2) | Permalink

Friday, April 8, 2005

Why must my ears and neck be a weak spot? x.x;
Well, not too much happened today. Ceramics I worked on another ugly as hell pot. History we watched a movie on WWI again x.o And dance we just jumped rope to warm up and then laid around 'working' on our dance XD

Oh, but wait. Then of corse I can't leave out advisment n.n; Henry came down to my advisment again since we didn't really have to do anything in the computer lab. Plus, I'm sick and tired of the libarian bitches standing over us 24-7 -.-;Anyways, that's not the point... I think I may have forgotten my point... o-o;;

XD

Wait... OH YEAH! ADVISMENT! Otay, so Henry came down to the south stage and I 'did my home work' >.>;; SHUT UP! I did... Not do my home work... v.v; Henry just gave me all the answers XO

Damn, I keep loosing the point x.o So after that, he became my 'chair' and we snuggled for a bit as Katie complained that Amamnda lost the cards so she couldn't play solitair. Well... I guess I was in a bit of a off mood... 'Cause I started curling into him and my hand kinda found it's way up his shorts and rubbing his inner leg a bit... o-o;;

NO,I DIDN'T GO THAT FAR YOU SICK MINDED PEOPLE...!

Anyways, so when I went to sit up a bit, he got a hold of my ear... Just about the weakest spot I have. And he started kissing it and licking it a few times. It wasn't for but a minute, but I still melted x.x I can't handle that kinda thing. It gets me going. If you know what I meen -cough, cough- o-o;;

So I guess he thinks I didn't like that because I told him no, or some thing. I dun remember. I tried to tell him that it was okay, and he could do it if he wants to, but I dunno if he heard me or not. So I guess I'll just find out later.

And that was my day =D Bye all!

-Reno-
Comments (3) | Permalink

Monday, April 4, 2005

Flowy skirt + windy day = bad
I don't think the weather farie likes me, because whenever I decide to actualy try to look nice for once it blows up in my face. It either snows, rains, gets windy or some thing like that x.x;;

-sighs- Oh well, every one said I looks good none the less, so that made me feel good n.n! And what made me feel even better was getting to see my Henry, I hadn't all break. That's nine days x.x! It was hard, but I'm just glad I got to see him finally. Although the librarian fucking pissed me off -.-; Me and Henry were sitting next to each on the computers, doing some work (SHUT UP, I WAS TO WORKING XD) He had my pinky finger in his hand, not even my whole hand, and she comes over and yells at us for not being 'school appropriate' or some shit like that... HE WAS HOLDING MY FUCKING PINKY FINGER! She is just a bitch. If she wants to see shit thats 'not school apropriate' then she needs to go walk around the halls, there's always some one making out or basicaly fucking each other in the halls ways during passing or lunch. Now THATS not 'school apropriate' XD

Then in dance, I thought some one had stolen my purse, so I was flipping out and so was every one else. Mostly because I had my cell phone and around 30 bucks in there. Finally after about 5 minutes of every one searching around, Danni points up to the top of the lockers (Which is pretty high up, so you can't see what's up there.) and I see my purse. So I grab the talest person I can find to get it for me XD

But besides that, it was a good day. Amos still says he can't get over me... But that's a different subject completly. So I guess I'll let you all go. LOVE YOU GUYS!

-Reno-

P.S - I worked on my webbie a bunch this weekend n.n So I have most of it up and running. A few pages I still need to fix, but I'll have to do that later. I need to go do all the home work I didn't do x.x;; Here's the links.
Comments (2) | Permalink

Thursday, March 31, 2005

I’m so never gonna see my phone again x.x…
So mom just said that if the phone bill is over this month, and if my grades are bad that my phone will be gone… So I’ve been so abusing the minutes before seven, and I have an F in geometry and D in Biology right now… I might as well just give her my phone right fucking now x.x;; She says I am just going to have to use the home phone from now on. And that won’t work too well, there’s always some one online, and no one can get through. THIS SUCKS ASS! –cries- She has no idea how hard I try in school. I just don’t understand. And when I try and ask for help, my teachers bitch me out for not understanding when every one else does… I know I could have done better with the talking on the phone, though. That’s my fault entirely.

So I’m just going to have to live with out my phone from now on. And even before my mom said that, I had already been feeling like shit. The whole Amos thing finally got to me. He is just so head over heels in love for me. He tells me I’m his world, and he would do anything for me… He’s gone so far as to say he wants to marry me and give me a baby… He’s always saying he treats me better than Henry and all this shit to get me to leave him. I just can’t handle it any more. I told him I just want to be with Henry, and that he can just be my friend. He doesn’t seem too happy about that, but he’s going to have to learn to live with the fact that I’m already married. And there’s nothing he can do to make me leave Henry. We’re already making the stupid plans for the real wedding some day.

On a white sand beach. No shoes. Very casual. With the sun setting behind us, and the shore beside. That’s always what I’ve wanted.

-goes away because Amos calls…-

-comes back… feels like fucking shit now… about to fucking cry again…-

Oh my fucking god… WHY DOES HE INSIST ON DOING THIS TO ME?! –shaking so badly from holding back so many emotions all trying to get out at once…-

So he got all weird on me… He’s all ‘I still love you, and I don’t feel like I got a good enough chance with you. I fell so alone now… Oh, but I’ll be okay. Don’t worry’ YEAH FUCKING RIGHT! Then he’s all ‘I’m not trying to put some kind of guilt trip on you or anything…’ And I know he’s lying… I know he knew damn well what he was doing.. He just wants me to go running back to him. And it’s not gonna happen. I will stand by my Henry no matter what happens. He’s still saying all this shit about him… HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW HIM! Fucking ass hole… -gone from crying to wanting to take some thing to her throat or some one else’s…-

-growls- And now I got two of my friends wanting to kill themselves, and another one dying… FUCKING GREAT! JUST WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW…!

-sighs- Okay… I need to go calm down… I’ll talk to you guys later… Love you all. –hugs and kisses-

-Reno-

P.S – I promise I won’t hurt myself or any one else… And please don’t flip out, Henry. I’ll be fine. I promise…
Comments (3) | Permalink

Monday, March 28, 2005

Long time no real post... o.o;
Sorry all, I know I havn't updated in a long time. I'm so damn lazy XD Anyways, so not too much new going on around here. Went to Amandas 16th on Friday after school. We went bowling dowt at Fat City and then spent the night. We watched Flight of the Phoenix and Ladder 49. They were both okay, just not the kind of movies I like, usualy.

Now I'm on break for the week. And hopefully the weather will be okay. It snowed Friday, adn Saturday. But I think it's supposed to be better now.

I havn't been in the best mood the last few days. I'm not sure why, though. I am trying to be nice, but I jsut keep bitching every one out v.v; So if I am meen to anyone, then I'm really sorry. Last night was interesting, too o.o; My friend, Amos, who is absolutly obsessed with me finally talked to Henry o.O; They said it went okay. So I guess their firends. So that's good.

And now I have to go and babysit for a bit. I'll talk to you all later. Love you guys n.n
Comments (3) | Permalink

Saturday, March 19, 2005

So fucking hyper @.@ -dances-
Lalalala... o.o; To much cookie dough and gaterade @.@ La la la... SQUEAZE MEH! XD I squeak n.n Don't ya lub meh? ;-; NO?! -cries- XD Ommfg... I need to stop before you all think I'm a fucking freak ( Which I am o.o ) XD
-Reno-
Comments (7) | Permalink

Sunday, March 13, 2005

-Punches a fucking wall out- I hate this shit...
-Sighs and growls a bit- So Henry was cutting himself... He did it because he couldn't see me, or some shit like that. He didn't call me to try and figure any thing out. He just resorted to cutting himself first... Then I was the one who ended up calling him. More than half of it was all silence, which pissed me off for some reason. On top of the fact that cutting himself had pissed me off to no end, in the first place. I have never understood why you would cut yourself. That concept has never clicked in my mind. I've tried it before, but nothing more than a scratch. And I guess I just don't understand it. When I asked him why, he said he wanted to feel some thing besides the emptiness there was when I wasn't there. I wanted to fucking rip his head off... Or at least throw some thing, any thing, I could get my hands on at the moment. But I fought it as best I could. At one point I was tugging and scratching at my sheets just to keep my hands occupied.

I grew up around people always screaming, fighting, yelling and cursing. With death threats, knives, and having shit thrown at me countless times. And I know how it is to not want to feel all that pain. I would smoke anything I could get my hands on to get high for at least a minute or so. I would punch, scream and kick in walls, kick off table legs and break off doors. I would throw any thing that was in my hand when I got angry, I would usually break it and some thing else. I would wrestle and try to beat down my brother for threatening me or pulling a knife out on me again. I would run away and go wherever I felt the need to when ever I wanted. I would do as I pleased, because I knew no one cared enough to do any thing to me. Henry has never seen me angry, or even remotely pissed for that matter. And I don’t really want him to. It’s some thing I have worked so hard to try and stop doing. I don’t want to live the way I grew up, or was raised. And I don’t want to fight and scream, because that’s what broke up my parents’ marriage. I don’t want any of that. I just want to see him so badly right now…

-Starts to cry- It hurts so much some times. I love him and I never even get to see him. I HATE THIS ALL SO MUCH! I wish we could just run away and be together like it’s supposed to be, but I know we can’t. I know it was already stupid enough to do what got us into this shit in the first place. And running away isn’t going to solve anything… It’s just me wanting to actually spend time with my husband. Is that such a bad thing? Gah… I don’t even fucking know any more… I guess I’ll just hop off to bed or some thing, again. Night you guys.

-Reno-

Comments (6) | Permalink