myOtaku.com
• Join Today!

My Pages
• Home
• Portfolio
• Guestbook
• Quiz Results

Contact Me

AIM
• PrincessNeko3
E-mail
• Click Here
OtakuBoards
• NekoSaiyanReno
Website
• Click Here
Yahoo! Messenger
• saphire_ketzumi

Vitals

Birthday
• 1989-01-14
Gender
• Female
Location
• Castle Rock, Colorado
Member Since
• 2004-10-02
Occupation
• High School Student, graphic artist, writer
Real Name
• Brianna Lyn

Personal

Achievements
• I finally got myself to be single and i actually LIKE it. I know, I was scared, too XD
Anime Fan Since
• Ummm... 8?
Favorite Anime
• I have a bunch... Don't feel like listing right now... Lol
Goals
• To keep out of as much trouble as I can
Hobbies
• Anime, hanging out with my friends, graphic and website design and... writing?
Talents
• Ha! Ya right. Like I have talents...! *cough cough* I mean... N/A




Jump to User:

myOtaku.com: NekoSaiyanReno


Sunday, March 13, 2005

-Punches a fucking wall out- I hate this shit...
-Sighs and growls a bit- So Henry was cutting himself... He did it because he couldn't see me, or some shit like that. He didn't call me to try and figure any thing out. He just resorted to cutting himself first... Then I was the one who ended up calling him. More than half of it was all silence, which pissed me off for some reason. On top of the fact that cutting himself had pissed me off to no end, in the first place. I have never understood why you would cut yourself. That concept has never clicked in my mind. I've tried it before, but nothing more than a scratch. And I guess I just don't understand it. When I asked him why, he said he wanted to feel some thing besides the emptiness there was when I wasn't there. I wanted to fucking rip his head off... Or at least throw some thing, any thing, I could get my hands on at the moment. But I fought it as best I could. At one point I was tugging and scratching at my sheets just to keep my hands occupied.

I grew up around people always screaming, fighting, yelling and cursing. With death threats, knives, and having shit thrown at me countless times. And I know how it is to not want to feel all that pain. I would smoke anything I could get my hands on to get high for at least a minute or so. I would punch, scream and kick in walls, kick off table legs and break off doors. I would throw any thing that was in my hand when I got angry, I would usually break it and some thing else. I would wrestle and try to beat down my brother for threatening me or pulling a knife out on me again. I would run away and go wherever I felt the need to when ever I wanted. I would do as I pleased, because I knew no one cared enough to do any thing to me. Henry has never seen me angry, or even remotely pissed for that matter. And I don’t really want him to. It’s some thing I have worked so hard to try and stop doing. I don’t want to live the way I grew up, or was raised. And I don’t want to fight and scream, because that’s what broke up my parents’ marriage. I don’t want any of that. I just want to see him so badly right now…

-Starts to cry- It hurts so much some times. I love him and I never even get to see him. I HATE THIS ALL SO MUCH! I wish we could just run away and be together like it’s supposed to be, but I know we can’t. I know it was already stupid enough to do what got us into this shit in the first place. And running away isn’t going to solve anything… It’s just me wanting to actually spend time with my husband. Is that such a bad thing? Gah… I don’t even fucking know any more… I guess I’ll just hop off to bed or some thing, again. Night you guys.

-Reno-
Comments (6)

« Home