Friday, October 14, 2005

man i fell really loved right now...

Your death will be from a broken heart...Most
likely because you fell in love with someone
you loved more then yourself or because your
not loved at all. You will die from just giving
up on life itself...not eatimg, not talking,
not doing anything. You will most likely die
alone in your house with nothing but the
picture of the one you love in your arms...


How Will You Die And Why? .:Beautiful Dark Pics:.
brought to you by Quizilla

Comments (0) | Permalink

*deep sigh*
lets all ding the i hate my life song!! ^^! -.-...

ok well ill try and keep this short (this never works)

1) i pissed off mia
2) i said things i never should have said to mia
3) treated mia like dirt
4) list goes on
5) i appologized to mia
6) she treated it as if i hadnt done anything...
7) that always hurts far worse... when you should be punished by the ones you love but they dont but instead treat you like everythings fine and they still love you and its all the worse because they do and it just tears you apart inside "wanna put my tender, heart in a blender, watch it spin around, to a beautiful oblivion."
8) went back to before i met mia in person (might as well not even know eachother in person) but we talk like all hell on aim. basically she doesnt really talk to me in person and doesnt much seem to aknoledge my existence which ill admit hurts like a son of a biscuit but even though i can ask for things to be difrent i dont think i really want them to... she wouldnt be the same mia if they were different... i mean shed be every bit as beautiful in body and soul but still her personallity would be difrent and i dont think it would be the same unles she were to just naturally to do that. not like do it becaue she was asked. theyre probably better this way anyways. i get to talk to her more then i usually do because we actually TALK on aim now and well... ya im not going to say what i was thinking because i know countless people who would be all like "thats not true! dont think that!"

anyways that was the main thing i wanted to write about. hey be thankful i could have expanded and youd still be reading that boring as all hell bullshit. anyways... if theres anything else woth talking about ill probably do another post but whatever. anyways

ja matte ne^^
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, October 6, 2005

   dont appologize. i hope you choke and die!
ok sry ignore this post. i was very upset and said things i shouldnt have. i have now erased the post and wish to take back all things said. im truely sry.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

   that smiling heart for my mood... ya imagin that ripping in half...
RAPE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


sry but yelling i god for you...

anyways so i hate life, what else is new... oh ya i got sick yesterday and had to go home but even though i wanted to go home sence my sister had already gotten picked up earlier that day my mom and sis decided to go to a movie and im sitting there like: "wtf?! i want to go home! how about tomorrow?" anyways so we saw red eye. dam good movie. then we went to the dr for my sister to see if she was illergic(sp?) to anything which she was and i sat there and drew and did a ten minute sketch that after i was done... i looked at it... then i banged my head against a wall for a while... the hospital let me do this without a care too... goddess dont i feel loved? anyways all this was because i looked at the picture i had drawn without any thought that i wa aware of... i drew a quick sketch of the girl i like... can i pull the trigger now? goddess i hate myself so much... ok im going now *bang*

ja matte ne ^^
Comments (0) | Permalink

Sunday, September 18, 2005

   *sigh* its a rant so i dont expect you to read it.
well i think ive fallen for one of my closest friends and i honestly dont think she likes me back like that. sometimes she makes me feel like she truely loves me and other times she makes me feel like she hates me... i just dont know what to think or do anymore. whats worse is im polyamorous and omg i hate it so much. i have always thought you should have absolute loyalty to you loved one but look at me now falling for more then one girl at the same time... i think if one were to voice that she liked me id be fine with being with her but at the same time i dont know... im 15, cant drive, live over an hour away from the nearest, broke, have bad grades, no redeeming(sp?) qualities at all,worlds lowest self-esteem (just admit you never would have guessed >>...), the list goes on but i just dont see why i would go out with a girl when 1) i cant be with her often if ever, 2) too afraid to even kiss her, 3) i cant even understand her... (like reading the signs and stuff...). i just think it would end off with me hurt and her hating me or something. i dont know im having dreams about the girls and i cant stop thinking about them. i hate it... i just wish i could do something...

fuck i sound like an idiot... i wish there was someone i could talk to... mersadee i have to wonder if she even likes me at all anymore, RakuDa-san is away, adina i know hates me and wont admit it, i dont want to talk to a person on their cell phone, and well everyone else is offline... i want to write but i dont know what... i want to draw but i suck and cant get the drawing from mind to paper. i dont know what to do i just want to go to a dark corner of a nowhere where its raining and the moons above and i can just sit there and hopefully cry... but who am i kidding, i can never cry when i need to... im going to go now... i... really need to be with someone right now... but no... im alone... always.... alone...
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, September 15, 2005

   im not completely emo today! ^^
wel i hate life still, dont get me wrong but hey chior is looking up. im AM a tenner i dont care what any one says and YES it DOES make a HUGE difrence to me! i HATE bass voices. im sry but i do. i <3 alto and some suprano and i think tenner is wonderful but i hate bass. my teacher placed me as bass but i refuse. she said i was hard to place because ive never done ANYTHING with music before so im hoping i might still be able to do tenner. she said in my chest voice today i could go pretty high without dam near any exp so im hoping by the time im done this year ill be able to hit at least the lowest alto note. (tenner has about five notes before it goes into alto) so ya.. i want to get the best range my body will EVER allow ^^! yes i know im an idiot but this is something that really means alot to me so i intend to try my hardest *one of those sad smiles that makes your heart weep*

anyways in other news i wanted to share something im really proud of ^^! so cat wrapped me in those streamer things that are made out of tissue paper or something that you find all over the place at dances and parties. anyways she did it in a way that made it look like i was wearing a corsette(sp?) but it was still so cool ^^. it was also club day (also known as the signing festival) and i was helping with anime club. this prep started talking to me and the conversation went as followed:
"why are you wearing that party streamer stuff"
"why arent you"
"because im specialer then you"
"then why do you look just like everyone else?"
she didnt say a thing after that ^^

anyways so thats it... ive ranted enough... oh and tommorow we get to watch the great excape (finish it anyways and yes i know i cant spell >.<) ok now im done ^^
well anyways ive got webcomics to read and you all know how to contact me so ya.

ja matte ne ^^
Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

   well im back i suppose...
school has started again and i may very well start posting again even though im sure i dont have any readers anymore. well i guess ill just tell you my summer sucked my sister is a bitch druggy, and basicly all a bunch of stuff you already know. i want to just quit school... i hate it... i cant sing so i might as well quit chior *wants to cry because of what happened today*, film study is barely even able to be considered a class. ya i like it but still. oh and whats even better i have a project due friday and i havent started it. english is with a teacher im not too fond of and im failing it already. we're doing greek and roman myth and im the only person in the class that knows anything as far as that goes and i already know EVERYTHING shes teaching. world history is with the same teach as english and its boring as hell. i finally got geometry for 5th (yes these are in order) and my teacher is an idiot (im skipping it to type this actually. i know its wrong but im not having a good day so i dont want to hear it.). 6th i have physical science with ms MASDIOVHJIAWEHROSDIFHLSKDFJHAIDFGHAIOWENJFLSDCV (nobody can pronounce her name...). the class is a bunch of freshmen and me. the freshmen are idiots. complete and total idiots. i hate them all along with the teacher and i already took this class last year! bloody bastards. well im on aim if anyone wants to aim me. ill be on for 40min then the comp here in the library will kick me off. well nee-chan if you read this i ask that you please, please sign on. i really want to talk to you and i sent you a message on my phone but i never got anything back... sry...
ok well whatever im going to go now...

ja matte ne
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

   so hot!
ok i dont have much time so heres whats been going on:

1) im addicted to guild wars (it's official)
2) the second rule of fight club is you do NOT talk about fight club!
3) summer school started again ;-;
4) sister stole my cd player and me and my mom agree that if she doesnt come back with it then she prolly pawned it off for crack or meth or something.
5) sister took off for a couple days without a word and my mom filed a missing persons report but she called earlier today finally so who knows... -.-...
6) ive finally almost beaten shinobi on easy!!!! woo-cha!!
7) judo started up agian! its bloody awesome!! <3
8) Its too dam hot!!!
9) shit i have to go my dads here to pick me up.

ja matte ne^^
Comments (1) | Permalink

Friday, July 8, 2005

   yuna-chan!!!

Final Fantasy Girl of the Day! Anime Girl of the Day! DDR Girl of the day! 3 in 1 v3.3 by PinoyBarRaper
Full Name
Age	5-6789101112131415161718192021+
Sex	MaleFemaleyes, please*blush*no comment...
whos the hottest final fantasy girl?	TifaAerisRinoaQuistisSelphieYunaLuluRikkuYuffiePaineLenneI CANT CHOOSE!they all suck...who?
pick a word	shonenshoujoshonen-aishoujo-aiyuriyaoihentaimangajapanimationoro
DDR skill?	BeginerLightStandardHeavyDDR?DDRs gay!no comment...
Month	JanuaryFebruaryMarchAprilMayJuneJulyAugustSeptemberOctoberNovemberDecember
Date	12345678910111213141516171819202122232425262728293031
Day	SundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFridaySaturday
Final Fantasy Girl
Anime Girl
DDR Girl
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Comments (1) | Permalink

   im in love

.:: What kind of Mithical Man is for you? ::. .:: Anime Pics::. by mistress_sama
Name
Age
Fav. Color
Fav. Anime/Manga
Do you have a boyfriend?	YesNoI won't say
Your man is:
Where will you meat him?	On the streat
What will he say whan he sey you?	"You are so beautiful"
How long will he love you?	For ever
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Comments (0) | Permalink