Friday, October 14, 2005

well im depressed yet again..
i stayed home all day... no school... sounds nice right? not when youve got nothing to do, no one to be with, no one to comfort you. not when you feel like no one listens, no one cares. hell who is actually reading this? this post will stay on my site for as long as this account lives but i dout anyone will read it... i mean why would they? im just going to sit here and complain and mope and moan like "my life sux" when i realize that my life isnt as bad as alot of other people. but lets look at why? because i have a better education? heh ignorance is bliss! i curse my knoledge everyday im alive even when im not in school! there are things i know that i just shouldnt! how can i be happy when i know that all of life is pointless and can prove it in a way that even christians cant argue with! watch me go to a psychiatrist (i dont even know if i spelled that right but i probably didnt) and find out a week later he commited suicide. anyways heres another reason my life is better. because i dont have to work as much as others. ok. fine. now think about this: when your working you have to pay attention to what your doing so you dont get as good a chance to think or be depressed. you may not be happy but your not actually depressed. my lifes better because im in good health. ya i get to watch the world around me fall in pain and die and i cant do a thing to help let alone properly comfort them because i have no idea what its like to lose an arm, to have an std, to be born with mental problems or anything like that! so ya theyre in physical and mental pain and i have to live knowing there really isnt anything i can do... at all... fun. any of you who arent going to read this know why my life is better?

the post i had modified because i shouldnt have said any of those things, there was song lyrics on there. the song was Seventy Times Seven by Brand New. here they are:

Back in school they never taught us
what we needed to know
Like how to deal with despair
or someone breakin your heart
For twelve years I've held it all together
but a night like this is beggin to pull me apart
I played it quiet left you deep in conversation
I felt uncool and hung out around the kitchen
I remember I kept thinking
that I know you never would
And now I know I want to kill you
like only a best friend could

Everyone's caught on to everything you do
Everyone's caught on to...

As if it happening wasn't enough
I got to go and write a song
just to remind myself how bad it sucked
Ignore the sun, covers over my head
Wrote a message on my pillow that says
"Jesse, stay asleep in bed"
Don't apologize (I hope you choke and die!)
Search your cell for something which to hang yourself
They say you need to pray
if you want to go to heaven
But they don't tell you what to say
when your whole life has gone to Hell!

Everyone's caught on to everything you do
Everyone's caught on to...
Everyone's caught on to
(and I can't let you let me down again)
everything you do
Everyone's caught on to...
(and I can't let you let me down again)

So is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
Cause I've seen more spine on jellyfish
I've seen more guts on eleven-year-old kids
Have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope there's ice on all the roads
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
and again when your head goes through the windshield

Is that what you call tact?
You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
So let's end this call and end this conversation
And is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
Cause you left the frays from the ties you severed
when you say "best friends" means friends forever

Is that what you call a getaway?!!
Tell me what you got away with!!
Cause I've seen more spine on jellyfish!!
I've seen more guts on eleven-year-old kids!!
Have another drink and drive yourself home!!
I hope there's ice on all the roads!!
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
then when your head goes through the windshield!!

(I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
(and I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to...
(I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
(and I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to...
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