Wednesday, September 10, 2003

   I don't want a head shaky face
I want a regular sad face.

Kelly emailed me out of nowhere today. Run of the mill stuff, except for where she said she was gonna drop by the house a few times, and didn't, and I quote "Yeah..I suck." In reference to her not stopping.

I dunno. But I can't decide whether I want to bawl my eyes out or throw up.
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Tuesday, September 9, 2003

I didn't know which one to pick
>< Nyaha!! Stupid damned people who inhabit my house didn't tell me an attractive college girl was taking a tour! GAH! Dammit! Raggin fraggin sonofamonkey..

I was lounging in my chair, working on one of my papers with my shirt off, since it's like a furnace in here. She just pops in, and I nearly flip. Ah well.
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Sunday, September 7, 2003

   Falling through the clear blue
That's what I was doing in a dream several nights ago. I rarely have dreams that I'm falling. And when I do, they're always in a place, like falling in a hole. This was a dream totally unique in my theater. I remember falling, and seeing that immense pristine blue that you see from really high up, like above passenger plane level. Then I saw a plane, carrying the Shuttle Columbia. It was struggling upwards, until the shuttle set off and launched up into black. I then realized that I'd been falling for awhile, and not thinking about it. So I see the blue again, and I fall. I have this odd feeling, bordering on fear. I should have tons of it, because I'm certainly going to die, and I should be dead already from the lack of atmosphere this high up. But really I just see the beauty around me, and realize how I must look like some falling angel, back to the rising ground. Then I hit, and there's something after that I can't remember, and I wake up.

Just a damn strange dream. I'm wondering if I'm gonna start hearing the voices more often now. Used to for awhile, then they quit. It's not like an insanity thing, you know? I just hear them. They don't really tell me anything. They're just pieces of conversation I pick up from wherever. They usually fade out quickly, and in comes a new conversation. It was odd that I remembered Vorte from last night, because usually it's never something worth remembering. But very clearly, with a rolled r, vorte, spoken from a young girl. I'd say in her teens.

I guess from the base it has something to do with vortex. Wish I could apply that with something in my life now. Maybe Sabrina will have some ideas, or she might know what vorte itself means. The girl knows latin. Dammit! I wanna know latin. Instead I'm stuck with elementary Japanese and Spanish. I can talk to Mexicans enough to get made fun of, and understand the finer points of anime. But she could understand basically everything said in The Order, and a good deal of the conversations were in latin. That pisses me off.
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This is for me, not you
Vorte.

What the hell does that mean? I was drifting off between sleep and limbo, and I hear a drumbeat. Bass. People talking. I wake up, or really, it seems like I rise. I feel like I can see better, but I haven't opened my eyes. I try to sleep again, and the drum is back. It fades and girls whisper. I hear vorte, before I 'wake up' again. Somewhere in this I see some sort of circle. Remember this.
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Saturday, September 6, 2003

   Hahahaha
Dude. The Order rocked. Hard. Awesome movie. Just awesome. I went in thinking it would be alright, but damn. It was great. Go see it.

Anime club was cool. I was a little too hyper to be sitting in one place for hour upon hour, but they gave me rice. We watched Get Backers, which was pretty cool. Then Kanon, which wasn't my kind of anime, but was neat nonetheless. Then we watched Sexy Commando. That is a crazy anime. You though FLCL was nuts? Ha. It's about some weirdo who finds a magazine that teaches a martial arts style that seems to center around unzipping your pants. Then we watched Tenshi Na..something. Which was weird again. Also saw a documentary called This Is Otakudom. Pretty funny. Had to ditch early because I needed to get home and so did Sabrina.

Oh, before I forget..the Deftones rock.
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Thursday, September 4, 2003

   I'd be really happy if I weren't tired
I thought my parents would be paying 2 grand for this year of college. Turns out it may just be something like 68 bucks. Nice eh? So now hopefully they can help with the loans.

Also, I'm gonna go see The Order with Sabrina. We're gonna hit the anime club too. Gonna be a nice day tomorrow. Pretty good day today though, too.

We seem to be making a habit of laying out on the grass and watching the sky for three hours.
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Monday, September 1, 2003

   Neo angry
I don't like writing papers.
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Sunday, August 31, 2003

   Eeee!
M*A*S*H marathon! Have you guys seen Haibane Renmei yet? I just snagged the first DVD when I saw it was from the creators of Lain. So far, it's..okay. Certainly not Lain, but I think that may just be the atmosphere. Hopefully it will get better, because I'm putting my chips in their pile. Once I get a job again, I'll be splitting my income three ways. Car, Loans, and RahXephon/Haibane Renmei. Hopefully I'll get that damned job soon. The guy says I have it, but if I don't...I'm gonna be a little more than peeved. I could be working with some sort of refrigeration rental thing..getting paid ten bucks an hour. Instead I'm holding myself out for however much I'll get paid as a counter jockey at a local mall's stoner shop. You know, incense, Jimi Hendrix posters, band shirts aplenty. A nice place. ^^ I just really hope I've got this job, because I could be making money now, you know? I don't want to have to sell my soul when I get out of College, and if I don't pay the loans out at least a bit, I'm gonna have to sell my kidneys, liver, lungs, and small intestine to stay out of the red. I might even have to sell someone else's liver. Or grow another.
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Friday, August 29, 2003

   I just picked that one at random
First week of college in the can. It went by pretty quick, and rather painlessly. It was surprising, really. I'm tired. Just stuffed myself on Bagel Bites. First real meal I've had all day. I'm used to not eating breakfast, but not having lunch too may start to take it's toll.

*yawn* I hung out with Sabrina yesterday more than I was actually in class. About three times more. Twas fun. We actually sat down on the grass behind a little tree and looked at clouds for awhile. I also made art with leaves and pine needles. ^^
You should have seen it. Very cool stuff.

I just laid down the law at my board. Punk called V has been causing some trouble, and I finally snapped. Well, snapped isn't the right word. Bent slightly, I think is more like it. Snapped, and you would have seen the flames from across the web.
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Monday, August 25, 2003

   What the hell?
It's 9:33 and I'm tired.

Classes went fine. I kinda miss Sabrina. The amount of paper and books I carry around are a bit crazy. I think I killed a redwood. This screen is too bright. Tone it down some and I'll keep writing. Until then... Bleh.
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