Thursday, August 14, 2003

   Gyaha!
Take that, you dirty Kraut! I like face-splitting grins.

Oi. Can I maybe get a nice pleasant girlfriend? Not one that's smothering, not one that's never around...you can be crazy, because I am,just don't be smothering.

I used to be in a really intense relationship, in which we yammered on the phone constantly, and it was basically the opposite of the kind of girl I want now. We just talked all the time, or were together, or were at work. Now, I feel like one phone call a day is enough. Maybe that's just because the girl just isn't nearly the one. Who knows. Am I making sense? Oh well.

I'm gonna rant some more. I told this girl exactly what was going to happen in this relationship. We weren't going to date, we weren't going to have a future. It was going to be for the remainder of the summer, and it was mostly going to be a cuddling/physical thing. No love, because I don't have that to give. And I think she's getting too attached. I'm going to college this year, and she's still in High School.

I haven't told you about Kelly, have I? Ah, Kelly. How I love thee, let me count the ways. Nah. I think I'll skip that. But I like her alot. She's perfect. If you shrank a model to a reasonable size, you'd get her physically. If you put me, plus some sexiness and feminine wiles, in that gorgeous body, you'd get Kelly. Oh, she likes some harder music than I do, but that's no big deal. She has these eyes man. Eyes that haunt you. Eyes that peel you like an onion, and make you feel so vulnerable. Eyes that just captivate you, hold you in a supernatural grasp and make your heart slam against your chest. Eyes that stop time. I can't describe what color they are. To put it blandly, they're usually a dark greenish, brownish...yeah. I can't describe them. I was at this party with her, and she sat down next to me. It was a Halloween party, so she was in a witch costume, and I was dressed in the garb you catch a glimpse of in my pic. I was a Vampire. Anyway, she sits down next to me, and my heart skips. She sets her drink in her lap, and looks at me. She asks me how I am, and I turn to her and say I'm fine. She asks if I'm having fun, and I say yes. I'm quiet most of the time, so you can't really tell when I'm having fun or not. She looks at me, with those eyes. The room around me disappears. Everything is there, but it doesn't matter, because she is looking at me. Not just looking at me, but staring, grabbing me with her eyes. They are telling me to look back. Those eyes ate me alive. Swallowed me whole.

And all the words I spout don't mean anything. She's taken, and I'll never have her. Not a chance. She's going to marry this dick that looks like a goat, and there's nothing I can do about it.

I'd sell my soul
my self esteem
a dollar at a time
for one chance
one kiss
one taste of you
my magdalena

~A Perfect Circle
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