myOtaku.com
• Join Today!

My Pages
• Home
• Portfolio
• Guestbook
• Quiz Results

Contact Me

AIM
• NeoDivus
E-mail
• Click Here
Website
• Click Here

Vitals

Birthday
• 1985-04-24
Gender
• Male
Location
• Ohio
Member Since
• 2003-08-05
Occupation
• Writer
Real Name
• Just call me Neo

Personal

Achievements
• I've eaten my weight in Ramen
Anime Fan Since
• 1995
Favorite Anime
• RahXephon
Goals
• Publish my comic book
Hobbies
• Writing, watching movies
Talents
• Hm..I uh, don't die easily. Haven't thus far, anway.




Jump to User:

myOtaku.com: NeoSoma


Monday, March 22, 2004

Inside we're black as pitch
A thought that occured to me while meditating. We are all dark inside. Our hearts are black, just like our lungs, our stomachs, our brains. All black. Kind of creepy.

Anyway. I don't think there can be any more putting-off of this, so here goes.

The core of my entire personality where it is now starts with, as all things seem to, Erin. Before I actually went out with her, I was 14 or 15. The seeds of rebellion had only just started to take root. I was getting annoyed with my home life, but it would not have progressed had certain situations not arisen. Oddly enough, my Christianity at the time was the major power involved. My father's being divorced, giving me an opportunity to "reunite" with him was second. These events allowed me to move out, spread my wings, and get me started. After that, it was Erin who introduced me to everything from the color black to my favorite bands. So with her I start to reject everything everyone says to me. I reject society, people, virtually everything except her and God. And eventually I rejected the latter. Anyway. Fast forward through the very content period of my life. Erin breaks up with me. I just shatter. Everything grinds to a halt. I'm depressed for damn near half a year, but I slowly regain my footing. I stop relying on others, and just look to myself for everything. I start doing things my way, and just accept whatever comes at me, deal with it from there. When I want to make an active decision, I do. When I want to be passive, I am. Fluid like water, baby. That takes us up to about 17-18. Get to the rest later.
Comments (0)

« Home