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Wednesday, March 24, 2004


It's Me Again

Well, this week isn't the best week. For one, remember when my pappy was hospitalized last week? Well, he's back in. He's going to have to get surgery on a heart valve. My mom was at the hospital all night, so she didn't really sleep. He's 83 and not the healthiest person, so it's not the best of situations. Still, it's best to hope for the best.

To add to more turmoil in my life, we had an oral presentation in Spanish class today. The speaking part was sort of easy, but the question-and-answer was horrible. I paused for too long, and it was being recorded. Plus, our teacher just gave us the requirements yesterday. It's a 9-12 minute presentation that we've known about for months, and we just learn the requirements yesterday. Our Spanish teacher is, well, not a good teacher. I went first today because the person ahead of me got bumped back. I was the only one who went today because she didn't accept anyone's notes and got into an arguement with one of my fellow students. Two classmates were crying. No one thinks she's a good teacher, and one of my classmates said that she said that she'll quit. Oh well.

Plus, to top it all off, it's not spring break anymore. Sure it's not the highest on the list of gripes, but things would be much easier if it was spring break.

Well, that's it for now. Hopefully, next time, I'll have something up lifting to post.

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Tuesday, March 23, 2004


Thanks

Thanks everyone who has been replying to my rants and gripes. The overall census I'm getting is that I should take a break and travel. That does sound good and the best choice. I'd have to get a job for money and my driver's licence. While I hate driving, I think travel would be good for me. I had some classmates go to Europe, visiting London, Paris, and Rome. It sounded fun, so I'd like to do that. Plus, going to Japan would be cool. I'd love to go to Japan. First, learning Japanese would be a good idea. I'd rather have that than my Spanish class.

I have homework, but I'm not doing it right now. How did a procrastinator like me become valedictorian? Someone must have rigged it for me. I'd thank whoever it was, but I don't want to give that speech at graduation.

Oh, I have a new art pic down at the bottom. It's called "Niko" (I wonder where I got that name). I've put a description with it, and I didn't color in the cape so that you all can see all of him. I also sent in a portait of him. I don't know if it will be approved, but if it isn't, I'll just keep sending it in until it is like I did with the others. Please go look at it and add your comments to the new one and old ones too.

That's all for the moment. Type to you all soon.

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Monday, March 22, 2004


Monday Morning

Well, I go back to school. Wish me luck. I hate this. All I want to do is go back to sleep. I did the homework last night while watching a video game documentary hosted by Tony Hawk. Not a good idea. The work took me until 2 AM. Still, I got done what I needed to, I hope.

Last night, I had a long discussion with myself. Talking aloud helps my thinking process, even if it wasn't really aloud. I whispered. Still, I tried to sort out some stuff in my life. I'm still not done with that. I liked it though. It's rare that I get no distractions. The only problem is that I lost some sleep, but it wasn't much more sleep that I lost.

I've been trying to think about what I'm going to do with my life. I've come to find that I have no idea. I don't want to go to college right away, but it costs more if you wait. Then again, I'll probably not have the money anyway, so a year wouldn't hurt. I'm going to have all sorts of tests at the end of the year for the program that I'm in. I don't care about them. I'll get through them as I get to them, and those tests don't determine if a graduate, so failing them won't be the end of the world. It's just what will happen after all the tests and school itself is over. My dad and stepmom are forcing me to get a job. It wouldn't be so bad if they weren't forcing me. I really hate being forced to do something. They'd say that I'll have to do that all my life. I don't care. I'm not going to be in a occupation where people force me like they do, telling me that I have to do something with no other options. I need to find my path in life. Them forcing me around isn't helping. All I need is time and space. Them and school are the two things working against me. I just need a break from it all. I'll get that soon enough. Thank goodness for summer.

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Sunday, March 21, 2004


Sunday Night

NOOOOOO!!! I have to go to school tomorrow. Plus, I've done no homework yet. Of course I haven't. It's homework. What do you expect? Oh well, I guess I must go back. Stupid high school diploma.

Does anyone ever get the feeling that they have no future? I can't see mine. When I try to imagine what I'll be doing in 10 years, inn even 5 years, I get a blank image. Ever feel that you've been born in the wrong world? I feel that a lot. I wish I was born in a comic, a manga, or an anime. Ever feel that the imagination is God's way of mocking us by showing us a world we'll never be able to even visit? I'm beginning to think that a lot.

I'm kind of down right now (as if you didn't notice). It probably has to do with me going back to school, my dad and my stepmom forcing me to get a job, and me not having any clue about what I'm going to do about college. This all sucks. Why now? My life would be so much better without those things to worry me. I just want to be with my comics, manga, and anime. Is that so much to ask for?

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Saturday, March 20, 2004


Friday is Over

Well, the Friday of my spring break is over. That means that I'm back to a normal weekend and that I have to go back to school on Monday. NOOOOOOOOO!!! I DON'T WANT TO GO!!! HELP ME!!! (I think you can tell that I don't like school, but who does?)

Well, I haven't done this past week. I've watched my stepbrother, played my GBA-SP, watched TV, drawn a little (which I will scan soon), and even mamaged to sleep from 3AM-4AM to 10AM-12PM. I've gotten online less that I would have liked, but I've still been on a lot. I've done very little, and that's exactly what I wanted. I didn't want to do much. I do way too much during the school week.

Plus, I've been over at my mom's place all spring break, which is much better than at my dad's place. He and my stepmom just won't get off my case about getting a job and picking and getting ready for college. They don't think I'm ready at all. Duh. If I was ready, I wouldn't be freaking out over it. Just because I'm valedictorian doesn't mean I'm ready for college. They just smother me with all this crap. I should move over here to my mom's place. My mom wants that, and I do too. I just can't for some stupid reason. I think it's my conscience, but I wouldn't know why. It's probably fear of having to tell my dad about me moving to my mom's. Plus, it feels like I would be wimping out by moving in with my mom, stepdad, and stepbrother. My mom is much easier on me. She's much more understanding, and she gives me space. Also, we actually get along. That's happening less and less with my dad and me. Plus, at my mom's place, my room is bigger and has a mini-fridge. It's looking better and better.

In less that a month, I'll be 18. Yay [/sarcasm]. I've got to be the only teen in the world not looking foward to his 18th birthday. I don't really want to grow up. I don't think there's anything out there in the world for me. Ever try to think of a future in this world and come up with a blank image. I am. Sometimes (ok, nearly all the times), I think I'm crazy. I can't stop wishing that I could be like my favorite anime/manga/comic book/original characters. I want to live like Kenshin or Inuyasha. I want to have lives like Spider-Man or one of the many original characters I make in my head that I fantizise about being. I hate that. It's fun to think about being like them, but I get depressed because I know I'll never be a swordfighter with god-like speed, a half-demon, a man with spider powers, or anything else other that an average human. The only reason I write and say I want to write is because this is the only way to live my fantasies, and it's still not good enough. Reality really does suck.

Well, I guess that's it for now. I haven't griped much this week. I guess it's because school is starting back up soon. I know it's going to be near-impossible for me to sleep Sunday night. Have I mentioned how much I don't want to go to school? Waking up to my annoying alarm clock at 5:30 AM is giving me goosebumps.

EDIT: New Guru Quiz



theOtaku.com: What Flame of Recca Character Are You?

I've never seen this anime, so I'll take the quiz's word for it.

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Friday, March 19, 2004


A Couple of Quizzes

You are Robin - quiet yet powerful
You are Robin! Still young and a bit unsure of
your abilities, nonetheless you are a force to
be reckoned with, a real hidden dragon


Which Witch Hunter Robin Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Zechs
Zechs


The One Deep Gundam Wing Personality Test
brought to you by Quizilla

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Shameless Plug

My messageboard has very few members. If you want to join, check it out. It seems a bit slow at first, and that's because it is. There's only about four to five regular posters, including me. The rpg is non-existant because I can't get anyone to start one or play one. If you don't want to join, post in the Guests forum to at least tell me that you were there. Oh, and by the way, my name there is Mystic Samurai.


click the banner

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Thursday, March 18, 2004


Another Survey

It's spring break, so I have enough time to take a survey. I found this at anatema's myotaku.com account. Feel free to comment on anything.

What is your name?:Nicholas Qualls
Are you named after anyone?:no
What's your screename?:Nikorasu and Mystic Samurai just to name a couple
Would you name a child of yours after you?:no
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?:whatever my parents name me
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?:Kenshin (we're friends in my mind)
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?:yes
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?:no
Basics
Your gender::male
Straight/Gay/Bi::straight
Single?:yes
If not, do you want to be?:but I am
Birthdate::April 15, 1986
Your age::17
Age you act::between 10 and 17
Age you wish you were::any age that keeps me away from growing up
Your height::5 ft 8 in
Eye color::ice blue/grayish blue
Happy with it?:yes
Hair color::brown
Happy with it?:I guess
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous::righty
Your living arrangement::one room at each parent's home
Your family::too copmlicated to explain
Have any pets?:yes
Whats your job?:high school senior
Piercings?:no
Tattoos?:no
Obsessions?:yes
Addictions?:no
Do you speak another language?:no
Have a favorite quote?:some
Do you have a webpage?:a message board, but not a webpage
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?:not if I can help it
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?:yes
Do you have any secrets?:yes
Do you hate yourself?:no
Do you like your handwriting?:no
Do you have any bad habits?:yes
What is the compliment you get from most people?:they say I'm smart
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?:The Boy Who Can't Be What He Wants
What's your biggest fear?:a future in which I end up normal, and spiders
Can you sing?:no
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?:no
Are you a loner?:yes
What are your #1 priorities in life?:avoiding the enevitable boring and unoriginal future
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?:yes
Are you a daredevil?:not really
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?:yes. being shy, closed up, and not living in a comic book
Are you passive or agressive?:passive
Do you have a journal?:sort of, myotaku.com account
What is your greatest strength and weakness?:strengths: creative, smart / weaknesses: unsure about myself, passive, fearful of the future
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?:I'd live in a comic book or an anime(which one? get back to me on that)
Do you think you are emotionally strong?:Well, I don't know. How would you define emotionally strong?
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?:some
Do you think life has been good so far?:sort of
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?:good grades doesn't equal a good future
What do you like the most about your body?:my hands I guess
And least?:my abs and my back (thanks to my stupid 30 lb backpack)
Do you think you are good looking?:maybe a little, but I really don't know
Are you confident?:no
What is the fictional character you are most like?:Kenshin Himura
Are you perceived wrongly?:sometimes
Do You...
Smoke?:no
Do drugs?:no
Read the newspaper?:sometimes
Pray?:yes
Go to church?:no
Talk to strangers who IM you?:sometimes to ask why they IMed me
Sleep with stuffed animals?:no
Take walks in the rain?:sometimes
Talk to people even though you hate them?:sometimes
Drive?:no, I hate driving. It makes me too nervous.
Like to drive fast?:No, look above
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?:I guess
Hurt yourself?:not on purpose
Been out of the country?:no
Eaten something that made other people sick?:not really made them sick, but made them disgusted, yes
Been in love?:no
Done drugs?:no
Gone skinny dipping?:not by choice
Had a medical emergency?:no
Had surgery?:no
Ran away from home?:yes
Played strip poker?:no
Gotten beaten up?:in tae kwan do
Beaten someone up?:not really, but I've gotten some good hits in
Been picked on?:more times than I'd like to count
Been on stage?:yes
Slept outdoors?:yes
Thought about suicide?:about it, but not concidering it
Pulled an all nighter?:no, I could, but I just never did it
If yes, what is your record?:look above
Gone one day without food?:maybe, but if yes, it's been a while
Talked on the phone all night?:no
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?:without sex? yes.
Slept all day?:no, but close to it
Killed someone?:no
Made out with a stranger?:no
Had sex with a stranger?:no
Thought you're going crazy?:constantly
Kissed the same sex?:no
Done anything sexual with the same sex?:no
Been betrayed?:sometimes, but that's when playing games like a snow ball fight
Had a dream that came true?:no
Broken the law?:it's possible that I may have done something not completely legal
Met a famous person?:it depends how you mesure fame
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?:no
On purpose?:insects and spiders
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?:no
Stolen anything?:some dental floss out of my aunt's room when I was in 2nd grade
Been on radio/tv?:tv, but just barely
Been in a mosh-pit?:no
Had a nervous breakdown?:no, but I've been feeling one coming for years
Bungee jumped?:no
Had a dream that kept coming back?:no
Beliefs
Belive in life on other planets?:it's possible
Miracles?:hopefully
Astrology?:no
Magic?:it could be possible
God?:yes
Satan?:yes
Santa?:no
Ghosts?:not really
Luck?:luck is just a good coincidence
Love at first sight?:I'll tell you when I see it
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?:no
Witches?:no
Easter bunny?:no
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?:yes
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?:no
Do you wish on stars?:yes
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?:sort of. I believe that they exist
Do you think God has a gender?:whatever God feels like being
Do you believe in organized religion?:well, I don't practice it
Where do you think we go when we die?:where ever we deserve to go
Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?:not that I know of
Who is your best friend?:I don't have a "best" friend, but I have a few friends
Who's the one person that knows most about you?:I guess my mom
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?:I'm still waiting on that advise
Your favourite inside joke?:I don't have one
Thing you're picked on most about?:my voice and things I've done or said that get blown way out of proportion
Who's your longest known friend?:I've known most of them for about the same length of time
Newest?:^
Shyest?:other than me, no one I know
Funniest?:I don't know. They're all pretty funny at times
Sweetest?:Many of my friends are sweet, and some aren't
Closest?:I don't have a closest
Weirdest?:all of them
Smartest?:they're all pretty smart
Ditziest?:all of them
Friends you miss being close to the most?:all of them
Last person you talked to online?:a friend at school
Who do you talk to most online?:^
Who are you on the phone with most?:I don't like to talk on the phone
Who do you trust most?:no one over the other
Who listens to your problems?:all of them
Who do you fight most with?:all of them
Who's the nicest?:all of them
Who's the most outgoing?:all more than me
Who's the best singer?:I've never heard them sing
Who's on your shit-list?:I don't have that list
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?:yes
Who's your second family?:I have a too complicated first family to have a second
Do you always feel understood?:no
Who's the loudest friend?:all louder than me
Do you trust others easily?:no
Who's house were you last at?:mine
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in::I've never been in any of my friends' arms
Do your friends know you?:sort of
Friend that lives farthest away::some online friends
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?:no
What do you find romantic?:sitting together in silence with one in the other's arms
Turn-on?:kind, understanding, smart, nice face, likes same comics and anime as I do
Turn-off?:mean, yelling, smoking
First kiss?:never had one (pathetic, ain't it?)
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?:weird
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going:yes. I want to be friends with the person
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out:yes. I'd rather the girl ask me since I'd be too nervous and shy about it
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv:not to anyone I don't consider physically attractive, but that's all a matter of opinion
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?:no. A girl said I was cute in the second grade, but that's the last I've heard of that matter from any girl
What is best about the opposite sex?:not a particular best
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?:not a particular worst
What's the last present someone gave you?:X2, a Christmas present from my aunt
Are you in love?:no
Do you consider your significant other hot?:if I had one, I'd hope so
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?:no one
You wanted to kill?:no one
That you laughed at?:someone on tv
That laughed at you?:I'm sure someone in class last week
That turned you on?:uh, well, i don't know
You went shopping with?:my sister
That broke your heart?:no one
To disappoint you?:I don't know who was the last, but I bet it was recent
To ask you out?:no one
To make you cry?:it's been a while since I cried
To brighten up your day?:my sister
That you thought about?:my sister since you asked that last question
You saw a movie with?:I don't even remember what the last movie I saw with someone was
You talked to on the phone?:my dad
You talked to through IM/ICQ?:a class mate
You saw?:my mom just a minute ago
You lost?:the last one? I don't know
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?:no
Will it be with your significant other?:no, especially since I don't have one
Or some random person?:again no
What are you wearing right now?:blue shirt, blue jeans, briefs, socks, shoes, glasses, and a watch
Body part you're touching right now::none
What are you worried about right now?:luckily, nothing at the moment, but I'm sure something soon
What book are you reading?:any one of the comics I recently bought
What's on your mousepad?:nothing since I have a laptop with a tough pad
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling::not really anything right now
Are you bored?:no
Are you tired?:no
Are you talking to anyone online?:no
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?:no
Are you lonely or content?:yes and sort of
Are you listening to music?:no, but that's a good idea. *turns on Windows Media Player* Ok, now it's Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down.

Really Long Survey (over 200) brought to you by BZOINK!

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This is a fan letter in the back of Ultimate Spider-Man issue 54. I wouldn't normally mention my whole name, but since this is in a comic book that is sold in places all over the world, here it is.

[Nikorasu]
"Dear Bendis,

You are awesome at Ultimatizing Marvel characters. Not that you need improving, but how would you Ultimatize yourself?

Nick Qualls"

[Brian Michael Bendis]
"I would do that, but the way I pace a story I would still be in nursery school."

I'm going to see how long it takes me to get in it again.

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Wednesday, March 17, 2004


500+ posts

Well, I got over 500 visits. I'd like to thank all the friends I've made here for visiting and typing to me. Other than that, not much. My pappy should be out of the hospital tomorrow. My spring break has been pretty uneventful, other that my pappy being hospitalized. I've slept in late and even mamaged to work on some drawings. I think I'm finally found the look of my main character. The hardest part is choosing the eye shape, and I think I found it. I'll show the pic when I get to my scanner. Well, later for now.

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