myOtaku.com: Nikorasu

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1986-04-15
Gender
• Male
Location
• Tennessee
Member Since
• 2004-01-11
Occupation
• college student / anime club pres / MTAC staff / sentai member
Real Name
• Nicholas

Personal

Achievements
• Surviving my valedictorian speech, joining the MTSU Anime Club
Anime Fan Since
• 1998
Favorite Anime
• Genshiken, Trigun, Please Teacher!, Yakitate!! Japan, Gurren Lagann, most Gundam I've seen that don't have SEED in the title
Hobbies
• anime, comics, internets, games, giant robots, sleep

myOtaku.com: Nikorasu

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Venting Crap and Powerpuff Girls

Been working on group registration for AWA. I have 14 names down, including my own, and about half have paid. It'll be nice to have that sent in.

As usual, no luck on the job front. No one I ever applied to called me back. I can't work with my dad because it seems that they have too many helpers already. My dad suggested that I go down to the local car wash and wash cars. I don't know why, but I'm hesitant to do that. I kinda just want to stay in the house and wait out the end of the summer. I really just want to have this summer over with. It already seems like a failure to me, and I want to get back to campus where I was much happier. A month and a half until classes start. I hope that passes by quickly.

It's kinda odd though. I'm fine most of the day, but when it's night, when everyone's gone to sleep, that's when I start getting down. It's just that I grew really close with my friends over last school year, and it's different than back in grade school. There, it was just a couple of close friends, and it would only be during school hours. At college though, last year mainly since most of my friends weren't there my freshman year, I get to attend class with friends, live with friends, go do stuff with friends, so on. For once, I didn't have my dad or anyonestanding over my sholder, asking why I didn't go out. I actually did go out, and somehow, I managed to form some sort of life, I think. It was a very odd and new experience for me last year, and I miss it. I really hate staying home all the time with none of my friends. I just can't wait until school starts and the anime club gets back into full swing.

In other angsty news, during the reunion, my little 13-year-old cousin almost laughed at me not ever having a girlfriend. He wasn't making fun of it. It's just that we were just talking about how his mom won't let him date until he's 15, which doesn't seem bad to me. I mean, I'm 20, and I've never dated, but that's not because anyone prevented me from doing so, except myself. Being alone all summer has given me time to think how being alone really sucks. Ok, I've been thinking about that well before the summer, even before last school year where I saw friends of mine pair off into couples. When I see them, most of all, I am confused. I honestly have no understanding of how people end up being together. How do people find each other? How do they meet across the crowd of so many others? Is there something I'm missing when looking for a girl, as if I ever learned how to do so in the first place. Sure, I have a jealousy of couples who have managed to fall for one another, but mostly, I find myself thinking "WTF? How'd that even happen?"

It may be possible that people have a crush or at least some attraction towards me and me not know. I don't like thinking that way. Makes me feel like I'm trying to be egotistical, thinking people have crushes on me, but it has happened once without me realizing, so now I'm paranoid about it. I get paranoid way too easily.

I'm going to hate applying for a loan. I'm going to have my stepmom look over the loan application since she worked in a bank and kinda knows some of this stuff. They had the genious idea to let me do it for the spring semester, as if I ever know what the crap I'm doing. I hate all this stuff. People are not being able to continue due to low grades. Me? My grades are great. Money should never have to be an issue like this. I know I'll have to borrow around $1500 for this semester, and probably some for next semester as well. This is all crap. I don't get how people get jobs at good places and I don't.

Next summer, I'm giving serious thought to living at my mom's or in the dorms and working on campus. I wouldn't mind my mom's so much, but I honestly don't want to help out all that much with my little stepbrother. I don't want to be mean or anything, but the kid is annoying. He often doesn't listen to me, so I can't watch him effectively. Plus, he bugs me way too much. He's only 6 freaken years old. He shouldn't annoy me like he does, but he does. I like my mom better than my dad, but it's actually easier to live at my dad's because I'm less bothered.

Wow. That's way too much depressing and annoying stuff. In other news, I saw Powerpuff Girls Z today, the anime based off of the Powerpuff Girls. It was...something else. Some parts were funny, and other parts were rediculous. I think the American Powerpuff Girls is still the better one.

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