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Sunday, August 14, 2005


I could never have been strong enough ...
My fists collide ...
with feelings inside ...
My being has died ...
until the sun raise ...

I could never have been strong enough ...

And its so hard to see ...
through mine eyes wich bleed ...
But I must succeed ...
its some thing I need ...

I could never have been strong enough ...

Nothing I can do or say ...
could ever change that feightful day ...
Still every night I cry and pray ...
that it was a dream and things arent this way ...

I could never have been strong enough ...

I know it sounds just like a myth ...
but by what beats inside my chest ...
Even untill my very last breath ...
I will defeat the cursed death ...

I could never have been strong enough ...

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Saturday, August 13, 2005


apologize ...
i wanted to apologize to all for not being on reciently ... see i had to stay at my fathers house for a week while my mother went on vacation ... and my father has no internet service ... well ... i guess i am back now ... i figured i would give all who wanted it a little treat though ...


for all who will enjoy ...

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The black ink
The black ink fell apon my skin
The black ink sunk deep within
The black ink makes dark flat lines
The black ink knows that the shadow lies
The black ink ate into my flesh
The black ink sees that im depressed
The black ink hears me scream inside
The black ink knows where i will hide
The black ink watches as i decend
The black ink fixes what should be mend
The black ink thinks of different ways
The black ink starts to trick and betray
The black ink gazes amongst the demons
The black ink has so many reasons
The black ink feels so dead and cold
The black ink knows its all alone
The black ink brings a silent haze
The black ink stops and finally says

... Amen ...

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Sunday, August 7, 2005


just something to pass time ...

Bored? ((Over 100 questions))

Created by xSwtLilAngel666x and taken 117126 times on bzoink!

[x] Part 1 -- The Basics [x]
What's your name? ::Kai ...
Birthplace ::i dunno ...
Age ::13
Age you act ::no idea ...
Current location ::.....
Eye color ::brown ...
Hair color ::brown - blonde ...
Right, lefty or ambidextrous? ::ambidextrous ... if that means i can write with both hands ...
Zodiac sign? ::Ram/Libra ...
Height? ::5'5''
[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]
Your heritage/nationality ::i dunno ...
Your hair ::um ... long ... ???
Your fears ::....
Your perfect room ::black , gray , and a million different pictures and posters on the wall ... and of course a computer with internet service ...
What you practically do in a day ::i get online ... and thats usually it ... other than sleep ...
[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]
Words you overuse ::not sure ...
Phrases you overuse ::dont know ...
Your first thought when you wake up ::... why ... ?
Your greatest accomplishment ::...........
Something you want to do ::um ... become a manga-ka ... i guess ...
[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]
Pepsi or Coke ::Arizona green tea ... or Fuze green tea ... yea ...
McDonald's or Burger Kings ::BK ... MD is descusting ...
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera ::0.o neither ...
Chocolate or vanilla ::strawberry ...
Adidas or Nike ::neither really ...
Black or white ::gray ...
Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) ::um ... bills ... ?
Burgers or hot dogs ::both ...
Egypt or France ::Egypt ...
Rock or rap ::rock ... rap is just retards attempting poetry ...
[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]
Smoke ::no ... i have asthma ...
Cuss ::well ... yes ...
Sing well ::0.o not if my life depended on it ...
Sing in the shower ::aheh ... no ...
Talk to yourself --a lot-- ::no ... i dont talk much at all ... i day dream alot though ...
Believe in yourself ::.......
Like taking these longass surveys? ::why not ... ?
Play an instrument ::kinna ...
Want to go to college? ::if only to fufill a promise to some one i care about ...
Want to get married? ::never ...
Want to have children? ::never ...
Think you're a health freak? ::no ...
Get along with your parents ::my father , always ... my mother ... well ...
Get along with your siblings? ::two out of four of them ...
Think you're popular ::im a loner ...
[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]
Gone out of state ::yes ...
Drank alchohal ::hell yes
Smoke ::no ...
Get high ::... heh ... ^^
Done any drugs ::... ^^
Eaten an entire box of oreos ::not this month ...
Been on stage ::no ...
Gone skinny dipping ::NO ...
Been dumped ::no ...
Dyed your hair ::no ...
Stolen anything ::nope ...
[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]
Craziest ::Otako ...
Loudest ::Otako ...
Most shy ::Brett ...
Blondest ::.......
Smartest ::either tob punk or Chad ...
Kindest ::a few ...
Best personality ::they all have the best ... other wise i probly wouldent be there friend ...
Most talented ::Otako ... i think ...
Best singer ::i dunno ...
Most ghetto ::Megan ...
Drama Queen ((or King XP)) ::Megan ...
Pain in the ass ::Josh ...
The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style))::why would i befriend some one like that ... ?
Funniest ::Otako , tob punk , and Megan ... ( order means nothing !!! )
Best person for advice ::aodtr666 and tobpunk ... ( order means nothing !!! )
Dependable ::all of them ...
Trustworthy ::all of them ...
Druggie ::Chris ...
Most likely to end up in jail ::Chris ...
Person you've known the longest ::probly tob punk ...
[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]
Last dream ::i never dream any more ...
Last nightmare ::i was being drowned by one of my siblings ...
Car ride ::i went to WalMart ...
Last time you cried ::.......
Last movie seen ::Guess Who ... ? i think that was the one ...
Last movie rented ::the last one i watched ...
Last book read ::it was a manga ... its called Friuts Basket ...
Last word said ::-_- ... it was a cuse word ...
Last curse word said ::mother fucker ...
Last time you laugh ::... i dunno ... i think i was talking to tob punk ...
Last phone call ::to tob punk ... yesterday ...
Last CD played ::the second Naruto soundtrack ...
Last song you listened to ::Haruka Kanata
Last annoyance ::my brother ...
Last IM ::forever sence i havent fixed my computer all the way yet ...
Last weird encounter ::i dunno ...
Last person you hugged ::tob punk ...
Last person you yelled at ::probly a family member ... a brother most likely ...
Last time you wore a skirt ::0.o never ...
Last time you've been evil ::very recently ... i do not remember the day though ...
Sarcastic? ::talking to tob punk ...
Last time you fought with your parents ::i fought with my mother today .... but i never remember an argument with my father ...
Last time you wished upon a star ::a long time ...
Played Truth or Dare ::years ...
Spent quality time alone ::... im always alone ...
[x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x]
Are you talking to someone on AIM ::no ...
Do you feel lonely ::always ...
Ever TP'd someone's house ::no ...
How about egging someone's house ::no...
Do you not like dislike not like me? ::0.o uhhhhhhh ...
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? ::fuck no ...
Yo Momma ::ur moms face was molested with a rod ...
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? ::when am i not that hungery ... ?
What do you think of George Bush? ::i dont think of things that arent worth that time ...
Any secret fetishes? ::no ...
Do you like to wear chains? O_o ::0.o what do you mean by that !?!
How many languages do you speak? ::English , toungues , and a little Japanese ...
Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! ::nope ...
Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you =P)) ::i dont really care ...

Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink!


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my freind says i look like this character ...
his names Son Goku and he is from an anime called Saiyuki . personaly i dont think we look so alike , but heres how i would look as an anime character acourding to a good friend of mine .



see , i have more long hair and no bangs .

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Friday, August 5, 2005


I felt so alive ...
My heart skipped a beat ...
And my legs became so weak ...
That time I could 've sworn ...
Because you were so worm ...

I felt so alive ...
For the very first time ...
I felt so alive ...

We held each other tight ...
And it felt so right ...
All of our demons scrame ...
But we didn 't hear a thing ...

I felt so alive ...
For the very first time ...
I felt so alive ...

I gazed into your eyes ...
And began I realized ...
You weren 't really there ...
Because life 's never fair ...

I felt so alive ...
For the very first time ...
I felt so alive ...

I awoke in pain again ...
And it seemed like a sin ...
For you to die that way ...
I wish you would have stayed ...

I felt so alive ...
For the very first time ...
I felt so alive ...

Now every thing is gray ...
But I hope that in some way ...
That with you by my side ...
That I can feel alive ...

I felt so alive ...
For the very first time ...
I felt so alive ...
For the very last time .....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

in case you couldent tell its a dream about some one ...

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Thursday, August 4, 2005


ello ...
truth be told i live in texas and i traveled all the way to mississippi in a car ... there and back ... it was exhausting . but it was worth it i suppose . i was staying at a relatives while in mississippi and she cooked REAL FOOD ! that was deffinatly worth it . see she cooked stuff like eggs and bacon for breakfast where as atr home ... well lets just say i dont eat breakfast any more . and she cooked real meat and veggies ... versus the hot pockets and tv dinners at home . she just spioled me times a million . and we actually ended up doing some fun stuff . but most ppl in mississippi , even though they have the same problems , arent as corrupt or depressed as ppl in the town i live in . any way im glad to be able to get back online now . thats what i missed ... almost the most about being gone . aspecially so long .
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Tuesday, July 26, 2005


notice
hey i was jsut letting ppl know that i am going away for a week and i dotn think that ill be able to get online . when i do get back i will get to any and all gb signings and pm and what not k ? later
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Saturday, July 23, 2005


funny ..








heh ...

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Friday, July 22, 2005


nothing really ...

You Are? by Osaku
This is about you and me..err I mean you...
NameKai
Nickname(s)NinajKai , NinajKai666
Age13
Hair Colorbrownish - blondeish ...
Natural Hair Color (if different)black ...
Eye Colorbrown ...
Height5' 6''
Righty/Leftyit used to be both but i think now adays i just use the right ...
Innie/Outtieinnie , though i do not know why i just answered something like that ...
Birthplacei really dunno ...
SignLibra ...
Glasses/Contacts/"I Can See"i can see fine ...
Birthmarksa heart looking thingy on my arm ... its very tiny ...
Song that Describes Your lifeHurt by Nine Inch Nails , Bother by Taylor Carter , and that one song by Three Days Grace that says something about hating and loving this one person ... if you know what im talking about ...
Relationships (aww)...
Are You In Love....
Who Are Your Best FriendsKathie and Mike and aodtr666 ( please ! the order is random !!! )
Do you Intend/Want to Get Marriednope
If So, Wheren/a
Do You Want a Family (kids!!!)NO
If So, How Manyn/a
If So, Boy/Girl/Doesn't Mattern/a
Aspirations (You go-getter you)...
What You Wanted to Be When You Were a Kida manga-ka ...
What Do You Want to Be Nowa manga-ka ...
Where Do You Want to Liveeither in Japan or in a desert ...
Where Do You Want to VisitJapan and all the deserts of the world ...
Where Have You Been That You'd Rather Be Right Nowwith ... a certian someone ...
What Would You Change About Yourself, Given the Opportunitythe fact ... that i have lost someone ...
Favorites...
Place (Near or Far, it doesn't matter)under a wild and bright full moon ...
Vacation SpotJapan ... ?
Shopping LocationSuncoast and FantasyWorks ...
Music Genremetal ...
BandAcid Bath , Soulfly , Tenacious D , others ...
Colorgray ...
Flowerorchid ...
Smell???? what ???
Shampoo-_- it really dosent matter ...
Ice Creamstrawberry ... ?
Websitemyotaku ... ?
CarJeep ...
MovieNaruto , Cowboy Bebop , Donnie Darko , others ...
Actordosent matter ...
Actressdosent matter ...
Holidaybleh ...
Sodano thanks i like tea ...
BookAlichino and Ragnarok ...
Game (Board/Computer/Word/Drinking..It's all good)RPGs ...
Either/Or...
Responsibility/Simplicity/Both(?)???
Pop/Rock/Raprock ...
Work/Playi guess play ...
Car/Train/Planei dunno ...
Cat/Dogboth ...
Coke/Pepsineither ...
Color/B&W (photos)both ...
Tomato/Chicken Noodletomato ...
Noon/Midnightmidnight ...
Hot/Coldi dunno ... cold ... ?
Dawn/Duskdusk ...
Books/Moviesmovies ... i think ...
Did You or Do You...
Have and Siblingsi have three brothers and a sister ...
Cry Easilyum ... i dunno ...
Think You are Smartbook smart , but i have no common sence ...
Act Your Agemost people say i act older ...
Have Any Tattoosnope ...
Have Any Piercingsnope ...
Have Any Petsa dog and two cats ... oh and fish i dont care about ...
Get Jealousmabey ...
Ever Like Boy Bands??? huh ??? i like bands but whats this about ???
Believe in God/Allah/Jesus/etc.yea i believe ... ( in God , Jesus , what not )
Take Criticism Welli dont care what others think ...
Have You Ever...
Gotten Drunk Beforehell yea ...
Smoked (cigarettes)nope ...
Done Drugs (Any)mabey ...
Kissed a Member of the Opposite Sex...
Kissed a Member of the Same Sexno ...
Been on an Airplanenope ...
Been on First Class on an Airplanen/a
Skinny DippedNO
Had SexNO NO NO !!!
Take this Survgen survey!

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